LESSON 202
I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.
1 (182) I will be still an instant and go home.
Why would I choose to stay an instant more where I do not belong, when God Himself has given me His Voice to call me home?
I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.
Journal
I am being called home and I am ready. I am preparing for it by continuing to stay aware of the ego in my mind and choosing otherwise. I am using the process Regina recommended, to ask myself what I would do if I was enlightened and then do that. Sometimes I have to ask the Holy Spirit what WOULD I do if I was enlightened in this situation. LOL.
I am focusing particularly on meditation. This morning, I didn’t have as long to spend on meditation, so I decided what time I would stop. I was a little antsy about it because of time being short and I made up my mind that I would not stop short of my time, nor would I allow concern about time to interfere.
I gave all of that to the Holy Spirit. I was very surprised when I did stop to see that I had gone over the time. It just slipped by easily and that is new for me. I was glad to see it. I had hoped for a repeat of yesterday but it wasn’t like that. It was peaceful though, and that’s not a small thing. I hear God’s Voice calling me home and I am so very grateful for that.
Past Entry
Every day I feel less at home in the ego, and I am beginning to perceive things differently. Here is an example of how I am practicing the idea of being still an instant so I can go home.
Something upsetting happened to someone I love very much. At first I became anxious. I asked the Holy Spirit to look at this with me and the anxiety began to dissolve. I realized that something “bad” did not happen to him, but simply, something happened to him. Everything begins from a state of neutrality, that is, it is neutral until I give it meaning with my thoughts. I had judged what happened to my friend as a very upsetting thing, but when I changed my mind I dropped the idea that it was good or bad; it simply was.
I read something in The Way of Mastery that reminded me that the very thing I think I don’t want may be the next step home. This made a deep impression on me. I am so busy judging everything that happens in my world that I may very well miss the lesson it came to bring me. I am practicing acceptance. It is what it is, and my only request of the Holy Spirit is that I might know how I can use this moment to awaken.
Acceptance has always been hard for me. I have developed a personality that looks at a problem and sees solutions. I know that this has served me well in the past, but I also know that it was serving me in the ego. Now that I have changed my mind about what is important and what it is that I want, I am no longer interested in changing the world. But old habits are hard to break, so I keep reminding myself that the way to victory is now through surrender. Instead of go, go, go and fix, fix, fix, I am learning to be still; to be quiet, and to ask for Guidance, and to listen.
The way I go home is very simple. I become still and ask how the Holy Spirit would have me see this, what He would have me know, what He would have me do or say. Sometimes I simply say, “Holy Spirit, decide for me.” I am asking that He decide for me what I should do, how I should see this, decide for me what this means. It is very peaceful. It is the way to go home one steady step at a time.
For a long time I was uncertain about hearing the Voice, and often asked for help and for reassurance. Here is what the Holy Spirit said to me at one time when that happened. It makes me laugh now when I read it because it was so self-evident.
Me: Holy Spirit, I would like to learn to hear more clearly. I still struggle to know what you are saying to me.
Holy Spirit: You hear just fine. You are hearing what you want to hear. If it feels like you are sometimes hearing your Inner Voice and sometimes are hearing the ego voice it is because you are still conflicted about what you want. If you will continue to ask for your true desire, the willingness to hear only truth will grow in you. Then the Voice for God will seem to be clearer to you than the ego voice.
Me: Yes. Now that you say it, I know it is true. Thank you.