Lesson 176
God is but Love, and therefore so am I.
(161) Give me your blessing, holy Son of God.
God is but Love, and therefore so am I.
(162) I am as God created me.
God is but Love, and therefore so am I.
Journal
When I first started doing the lessons some of them were so beautiful and so comforting, some went right over my head, and some I was obviously afraid of. Then I reached a point where I knew that I didn’t really understand any of them and I was afraid of all of them. Now it is different. Speaking each one feels like a sacred moment, and each word is filled with meaning.
These lessons feel like old friends returning with new gifts as I am more and more open to accepting them. I am learning not to struggle, and that I don’t need to wrestle the gift from the lesson; quiet, honest acceptance elicits meaning, and what I am not ready for will be disclosed later when I am ready.
What is interesting to me is that the longer I study and practice the simpler it all becomes. “God is but Love, and therefore so am I.” God is Love and nothing else. I am created like God and so I am only love. Nothing else is true. “I am as God created me.” Every bit of evidence to the contrary is false because only this is true. All my fears and doubts are just the effect of imaginative child’s play and change nothing. I am still as God created me.
“Give me your blessing holy Son of God” is the request I make of each brother and what he gives me is truly a blessing. If it seems like an attack it is because I have mistaken who he is and so have forgotten who I am. I ask for his gift and do not judge it on appearances. I cannot judge on my own because the ego has taught me insane lessons of lack, fear, and uncertainty. My vision is no longer clear and so I go to my Helper and ask for clarity. I know there is only blessing from my dear brother and I am ready to see it as such.
I am so filled with gratitude this morning, and I ask that Holy Spirit come forward in my mind and accompany me as I enter the more active classrooms of this school. I have visited them with the ego and have not found it helpful.
Holy Spirit: Precious child, I have always been with you and will never leave you. I am part of you and it is My function to guide you. We are filled with love and gratitude for the vigilance you have shown as you practice the Course. We rejoice as we watch you slowly open your eyes and learn to see truly. For a while longer you will be tempted by the ego, and will be drawn back into the dream, but, as I have said before, never again will you be completely lost in it.
Myron, do not allow yourself to think of the ego as a powerful adversary. The Son of God has no adversary. The ego is just a thought. It is the thought that there is something other than God. In dreams, it seems to have caused untold pain and fear. It is the thought of murder and guilt, but in the end, it is only a thought.
How often have you thought one thing and then changed your mind? Because you have held this thought for so long and because you have defended it with layers of concealment you have made it seem something more than just a thought, but I assure you that is all it is. When you are ready you will simply stop thinking it, and all that will be left in your mind is the love of God.
The Only Real Solution to Fear
The following is something that happened while I was still working.
Yesterday I had a wonderful opportunity to practice what I have been learning. Lately, one of our chief competitors has become very proactive in soliciting our customers and is sometimes successful. I went to see a very large customer and, while he had not bought from the other company, I could tell by his questions, he had been approached.
When I left, I noticed how anxious I was. I noticed fear and fear defenses in my mind. Luckily, I had just downloaded The Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament and was listening to Matthew while I drove. This was wonderfully helpful to me as I looked at the fear. I also received many thoughts from the Holy Spirit to help me remember the truth.
I remembered that this situation did not scare me. Nothing about it is the cause of my fear. It is the fear in my mind that caused the situation, so correcting the situation will not solve my problem. I imagine a picture of myself seeing a fearful situation as a leak in the levee. I put my hand over the leak to keep the water out and just out of reach is another leak. Yikes, what now? This is what it is like trying to control the effects of the fear I have given a home in my mind.
The only real solution is to recognize where the fear comes from and ask for healing. It was hard at first because I couldn’t take my eye off the water gushing out of the leaking levee. It is very hard to convince the thinking mind to ignore its warning system (what the body’s eyes tell it) and to understand the cause of the problem is somewhere else. So that is why I shut the thinking mind down entirely. It is only a distraction in a case like this.
I repeated my mantra several times. I allowed it to calm me down and take me from my thinking mind to my Heart. There I was reminded of the love my Father has for me. I was reminded that I am not fear. If I were fear, God would have to be fear as well because He created me like Himself. I remembered to ask Him what I should do, rather than asking the ego-mind. I remembered my purpose. My purpose has nothing to do with keeping customers. My job is to extend love to them and my competitors alike.
I had to repeat this or parts of it a few times, but in the end, peace prevailed. It was interesting to note that as I lost interest in financial fears, the ego tried to hook me with bodily fears, then relationship fears. Persistent little devil.