Lesson 160

I am at home. Fear is the stranger here.

Fear is a stranger to the ways of love. Identify with fear, and you will be a stranger to yourself. And thus you are unknown to you. What is your Self remains an alien to the part of you which thinks that it is real, but different from yourself. Who could be sane in such a circumstance? Who but a madman could believe he is what he is not, and judge against himself?

There is a stranger in our midst, who comes from an idea so foreign to the truth he speaks a different language, looks upon a world truth does not know, and understands what truth regards as senseless. Stranger yet, he does not recognize to whom he comes, and yet maintains his home belongs to him, while he is alien now who is at home. And yet, how easy it would be to say, “This is my home. Here I belong, and will not leave because a madman says I must.”

What reason is there for not saying this? What could the reason be except that you had asked this stranger in to take your place, and let you be a stranger to yourself? No one would let himself be dispossessed so needlessly, unless he thought there were another home more suited to his tastes.

Who is the stranger? Is it fear or you who are unsuited to the home which God provided for His Son? Is fear His Own, created in His likeness? Is it fear that love completes, and is completed by? There is no home can shelter love and fear. They cannot coexist. If you are real, then fear must be illusion. And if fear is real, then you do not exist at all.

How simply, then, the question is resolved. Who fears has but denied himself and said, “I am the stranger here. And so I leave my home to one more like me than myself, and give him all I thought belonged to me.” Now is he exiled of necessity, not knowing who he is, uncertain of all things but this; that he is not himself, and that his home has been denied to him.

What does he search for now? What can he find? A stranger to himself can find no home wherever he may look, for he has made return impossible. His way is lost, except a miracle will search him out and show him that he is no stranger now. The miracle will come. For in his home his Self remains. It asked no stranger in, and took no alien thought to be Itself. And It will call Its Own unto Itself in recognition of what is Its Own.

Who is the stranger? Is he not the one your Self calls not? You are unable now to recognize this stranger in your midst, for you have given him your rightful place. Yet is your Self as certain of Its Own as God is of His Son. He cannot be confused about creation. He is sure of what belongs to Him. No stranger can be interposed between His knowledge and His Son’s reality. He does not know of strangers. He is certain of His Son.

God’s certainty suffices. Who He knows to be His Son belongs where He has set His Son forever. He has answered you who ask, “Who is the stranger?” Hear His Voice assure you, quietly and sure, that you are not a stranger to your Father, nor is your Creator stranger made to you. Whom God has joined remain forever one, at home in Him, no stranger to Himself.

Today we offer thanks that Christ has come to search the world for what belongs to Him. His vision sees no strangers, but beholds His Own and joyously unites with them. They see Him as a stranger, for they do not recognize themselves. Yet as they give Him welcome, they remember. And He leads them gently home again, where they belong.

Not one does Christ forget. Not one He fails to give you to remember, that your home may be complete and perfect as it was established. He has not forgotten you. But you will not remember Him until you look on all as He does. Who denies his brother is denying Him, and thus refusing to accept the gift of sight by which his Self is clearly recognized, his home remembered and salvation come.

INITIAL INSIGHT: There are three main ideas that really stand out to me in this lesson.

“This is my home. Here I belong, and will not leave because a madman says I must.”

God created me as an extension of Himself and thus I remain. The ego (fear), which is the opposite in every way to what I am, is made by me and yet, claims it is me. It is the madman who seems to have stolen my identity. Sigh. Let’s be real here, and admit that nothing was stolen; I willingly set aside my true identity and let fear take up residency in my mind.

“There is no home can shelter love and fear. They cannot coexist. If you are real, then fear must be illusion. And if fear is real, then you do not exist at all.”

We have convinced ourselves that we are ego and that fear is real and justified. We believe this so completely that it will take a miracle to get rid of this stranger. “The miracle will come. For in his home his Self remains. It asked no stranger in, and took no alien thought to be Itself. And It will call Its Own unto Itself in recognition of what is Its Own.” The only confusion about our identity is in our minds because God knows us and He holds our identity safe within Himself.

“Today we offer thanks that Christ has come to search the world for what belongs to Him.” 

We cannot know our Self without knowing everyone is part of that Self. Christ’s vision sees us as we are, knows us for who we are and gives us this vision of each other so that we will recognize our Self. “Who denies his brother is denying Him, and thus refusing to accept the gift of sight by which his Self is clearly recognized, his home remembered and salvation come.”

DAILY APPLICATION: In this lesson, Jesus is trying to help me see that the ego/fear that I have been identifying with is not who I am. He is telling me that I have chosen to give up my home and allow this stranger (ego/fear) to take up residence. I am love because God created me like Himself. As love, I cannot also be fear so fear must be the stranger. I can choose differently by asking the Holy Spirit who I am rather than asking the ego.

Fear had until very recently, been my constant companion all of my life, fear and its partner, guilt. I see, in retrospect, that this is what I came to heal for the Sonship. I don’t have paralyzing fear anymore and when I do have fear, I ask for help to see that fear is not natural to me, that it is simply an identification with ego. Practicing A Course in Miracles has made this healing possible for me.

I have read some books that have helped me. Jan Frazier’s book, When Fear Falls Away: A Sudden Awakening, was so helpful. Anita Moorjani’s book, Dying to Be Me helped as well. Both of these women lived in fear all their lives and were able to let fear go. It was encouraging to see ordinary women like me experience this kind of sea change.

I had an incident one day. It felt very much like I was having a heart attack. I went into the hospital for tests but the first round was inconclusive. (Later tests showed I was healthy) I noticed a couple of things. One is that during the incident, I had no fear of dying. I had the thought that I might be having a heart attack and that I might die. I watched my mind and there was no fear. There was a regret that I would not be waking up in this lifetime, but that was all.

On the other hand, fear for my children sometimes still shows up. But each time it happens, I sit in the fear and let Holy Spirit dissolve it. More than anything, I want to be free and I know that freedom is in my mind, not in the circumstances of my life.

Here is something I wrote a few years ago showing how I use the Course to shift my thinking when dealing with fear.

What I notice now is that I am more vigilant than ever for fear thoughts. They still arise in my mind, but I am less tolerant of them and am quick to ask that my thinking be corrected. I also notice that I seldom ask for that temporary relief, but rather ask for complete healing. I know that my goal is singular. I want only to awaken from the dream that I am something I am not. When I stray from that goal and become fearful, I am quick to ask myself what it is I really want. I cannot serve two masters, nor will I achieve a goal that is divided.

Yesterday I looked at the long hot summer stretching before me and my fear was that I could not handle the heat again this year. I was afraid for my job, which requires me to be in it daily. I was afraid for my body, which is not as resilient as it was when I was younger. The temptation was to ask for relief from the need to be in the heat, from the necessity of working. But then I remembered my purpose. Do I want this situation to change? Is that what I really want? Or do I want to wake up?

As I remembered my one unified goal my mind began to clear of the confusion. I chose instead to ask for Christ Vision in everything I did during the day and that is what I received. Yesterday was a peaceful day even though there were many unexpected things to deal with. What would have been frustrating and upsetting in the past, failed to disturb my peace yesterday as I looked on them with Christ Vision. Today I will be mindful of the times I choose to identify with fear and I will choose again.

INSIGHTS FROM HOLY SPIRIT: I thought about what Kenneth Wapnick said in his commentary on this lesson. He talked about how Jesus tells us we don’t ask for too much but for too little. He said the too little was asking for relief from fear rather than for its complete elimination. I used to do this. Fear was so strong in my mind, that when I was in fear I could only think about relief. This was a helpful message I received from Spirit one time when working on this lesson.

Holy Spirit: Precious child, you see more clearly now your motivation for remaining in fear, but you also see how senseless it is. Be aware of choices today. Notice them without guilt or judgment. Just see what you are doing. This exercise will be helpful to you. You will be tempted to allow activities to distract you, but this is also a choice. You can remain active without becoming unconscious. You don’t need to do anything when you notice yourself choosing fear; just see that this is what you are doing. You have invited me to heal your mind, and so I will do the rest.

GRATITUDE: I have learned since then that I do not eliminate fear, I simply realize that fear is not part of me in my true state. I am made of love and there is no fear in love. This helps me to know that it is possible to be fearless. I also know that as I desire fearlessness more and more, fear falls away. The Holy Spirit does His job as I open my mind to Him through my desire to be fearless. I a grateful.

REGINA’S TIPS

Over the last few days we have been focusing on truth, life-presence. Focusing on life-presence is Self-inquiry, a form of devotion where we continually focus on our true Self.

Today, we are going to shift to self-inquiry. That’s questioning the false self in order to recognize that it isn’t our truth. It isn’t what we are. It is merely the effect of attention attracted to thought.

Today’s lesson asks us to question fear. Fear takes many forms. Sometimes it is easily recognized, like when we are afraid of not being safe, but at other times we may not recognize fear as fear. For example, I could feel angry and think I am angry because another person has done something unreasonable. However, if I look deeply into my anger by asking why am I angry, I might find that I am afraid that person’s action is making me look bad. This is an example of when fear takes the form of anger.

Fear is a basic characteristic of ego thinking. As today’s lesson points out, when we identify with the fear thinking in the mind, our truth is unknown to us. This is why we need to practice self-inquiry. We need to return to recognizing our Self as our Self.

The lesson says it would be easy to disregard fear thoughts by recognizing our Self, but we don’t do this. Why? The lesson says that we have “asked this stranger in to take your place, and let you be a stranger to yourself.”

How have we done this?

Attention is an aspect of awareness. I often call it the arm of awareness, since it can reach out and experience different things. When our attention is engrossed in fear thoughts, we are presently asking “this stranger” to appear as our self. In that way, we simultaneously deny our true Self.

Today’s lesson recommends that we ask, “Who is the stranger?” Another way to do that is to ask, “What am I?” Both questions help us to discern between what we are not and what we are.

Let me demonstrate. Let’s say I have a lot of work that needs to be done, and I begin to feel stress. In spite of all of the work, I am committed enough to the process of awakening to take a short break from work and do some journaling about the stress I am feeling.

I ask, “Why do I feel stressed?” The answer that is seen first is because of all of the work I have to do. However, I realize that is not the root of my stress so I look more deeply.

I ask, “Why do I feel stressed about having a lot of work?” I realize that I am afraid of what other people will think of me if I do not accomplish my work within a certain timeframe. I see that I think they will perceive me as unworthy. As I look deeper, I notice that I’m afraid that may be true. I’m afraid that I am not as good as other people.

Through this inquiry, I’ve identified a line of thinking that I am identified with. I am identified with the idea that I am not as good as other people. I am also identified with the fear that others may find this out.

Now it is time to practice self-inquiry on this thinking. I look directly at the thinking I have uncovered and I ask, “What sees these thoughts?” I shift my attention within to look in the direction of the looker, back towards the source of attention. I notice there are the thoughts and there is the looker looking at the thoughts.

Once I have the experience of noticing these two (thoughts and looker), I ask, “Which am I?” This leads me to see that I am the looker, life-presence-awareness. It is clear the thoughts are the stranger here. They are not me.

When we practice self-inquiry repeatedly, we become increasingly clear on the difference between identification with thought (the false self) and our true Self. This clarity is what today’s lesson calls a miracle. It says, “The miracle will come. For in his home his Self remains. It asked no stranger in, and took no alien thought to be Itself.”

Pay attention today. Notice when you are feeling fear in one form or another. Watch for things like annoyance, frustration, anger, worry, stress, avoidance, etc. When you notice fear, inquire into it in order to receive more clarity about the thoughts that are causing the emotion. Once the thoughts have been uncovered, practice self-inquiry in order to separate the false self (identification with thought) from the true Self (the watcher). Notice which one you are and which one you are not.

MY THOUGHTS

Regina’s tips today are extremely helpful. Regina is telling me that I first recognize the fear in my mind, not just that I have fear but get right to the root fear. This is self-inquiry. Once I am aware of these thoughts, I shift my attention to realize something is looking at these thoughts. What is that? And this is Self-inquiry.

Regina says “Once I have the experience of noticing these two (thoughts and looker), I ask, “Which am I?” This leads me to see that I am the looker, life-presence-awareness. It is clear the thoughts are the stranger here. They are not me.”

If thoughts of fear are not me then ego is not me. I am the one that notices the thoughts. Regina says this: This clarity is what today’s lesson calls a miracle. It says, “The miracle will come. For in his home his Self remains. It asked no stranger in, and took no alien thought to be Itself.”