Lesson 139

I will accept Atonement for myself.

Here is the end of choice. For here we come to a decision to accept ourselves as God created us. And what is choice except uncertainty of what we are? There is no doubt that is not rooted here. There is no question but reflects this one. There is no conflict that does not entail the single, simple question, “What am I?”

Yet who could ask this question except one who has refused to recognize himself? Only refusal to accept yourself could make the question seem to be sincere. The only thing that can be surely known by any living thing is what it is. From this one point of certainty, it looks on other things as certain as itself.

Uncertainty about what you must be is self-deception on a scale so vast, its magnitude can hardly be conceived. To be alive and not to know yourself is to believe that you are really dead. For what is life except to be yourself, and what but you can be alive instead? Who is the doubter? What is it he doubts? Whom does he question? Who can answer him?

He merely states that he is not himself, and therefore, being something else, becomes a questioner of what that something is. Yet he could never be alive at all unless he knew the answer. If he asks as if he does not know, it merely shows he does not want to be the thing he is. He has accepted it because he lives; has judged against it and denied its worth, and has decided that he does not know the only certainty by which he lives.

Thus he becomes uncertain of his life, for what it is has been denied by him. It is for this denial that you need Atonement. Your denial made no change in what you are. But you have split your mind into what knows and does not know the truth. You are yourself. There is no doubt of this. And yet you doubt it. But you do not ask what part of you can really doubt yourself. It cannot really be a part of you that asks this question. For it asks of one who knows the answer. Were it part of you, then certainty would be impossible.

Atonement remedies the strange idea that it is possible to doubt yourself, and be unsure of what you really are. This is the depth of madness. Yet it is the universal question of the world. What does this mean except the world is mad? Why share its madness in the sad belief that what is universal here is true?

Nothing the world believes is true. It is a place whose purpose is to be a home where those who claim they do not know themselves can come to question what it is they are. And they will come again until the time Atonement is accepted, and they learn it is impossible to doubt yourself, and not to be aware of what you are.

Only acceptance can be asked of you, for what you are is certain. It is set forever in the holy Mind of God, and in your own. It is so far beyond all doubt and question that to ask what it must be is all the proof you need to show that you believe the contradiction that you know not what you cannot fail to know. Is this a question, or a statement which denies itself in statement? Let us not allow our holy minds to occupy themselves with senseless musings such as this.

We have a mission here. We did not come to reinforce the madness that we once believed in. Let us not forget the goal that we accepted. It is more than just our happiness alone we came to gain. What we accept as what we are proclaims what everyone must be, along with us. Fail not your brothers, or you fail yourself. Look lovingly on them, that they may know that they are part of you, and you of them.

This does Atonement teach, and demonstrates the Oneness of God’s Son is unassailed by his belief he knows not what he is. Today accept Atonement, not to change reality, but merely to accept the truth about yourself, and go your way rejoicing in the endless Love of God. It is but this that we are asked to do. It is but this that we will do today.

Five minutes in the morning and at night we will devote to dedicate our minds to our assignment for today. We start with this review of what our mission is:

I will accept Atonement for myself, 

For I remain as God created me.

We have not lost the knowledge that God gave to us when He created us like Him. We can remember it for everyone, for in creation are all minds as one. And in our memory is the recall how dear our brothers are to us in truth, how much a part of us is every mind, how faithful they have really been to us, and how our Father’s Love contains them all.

In thanks for all creation, in the Name of its Creator and His Oneness with all aspects of creation, we repeat our dedication to our cause today each hour, as we lay aside all thoughts that would distract us from our holy aim. For several minutes let your mind be cleared of all the foolish cobwebs which the world would weave around the holy Son of God. And learn the fragile nature of the chains that seem to keep the knowledge of yourself apart from your awareness, as you say:

I will accept Atonement for myself, 

For I remain as God created me.

INITIAL INSIGHT: The Course seems complicated, but it really isn’t. I decided to forget what I am and to dream of being something different. Now I am beginning to wake up from that dream. Just as I decided to forget my identity, I am now deciding that I want to remember what I am.  The only thing for me to do is to want to remember more than I want to forget. Every day, all day long, I decide I want the truth, and I accept the truth.

I used to not understand this lesson. I didn’t know what to do with it, but I am awake enough now to know I want to go deeper into my Self, to live from my Self without an ego. More than anything, I want to complete my mission, to do what I came here to do.

“We have a mission here. We did not come to reinforce the madness that we once believed in. Let us not forget the goal that we accepted. It is more than just our happiness alone we came to gain. What we accept as what we are proclaims what everyone must be, along with us. Fail not your brothers, or you fail yourself. Look lovingly on them, that they may know that they are part of you, and you of them.”

DAILY APPLICATION: These little things that Jesus asks us to do, going into silence with the intentions he gives us doesn’t seem like much is being done toward these lofty ideas. But it is working. Remember what he told us; our part is small but very powerful. Our part is our intention, our decision to succeed at whatever he gives us to do knowing he would not ask of us anything we could not accomplish. So let’s just do what he asks and trust him.

What could be more important than remembering who I am. That is what I came for in this lifetime. What could I do that matters more than dedicating my mind to accepting the Atonement? In accepting the Atonement, I am remembering that I remain as God created me and in doing that, I remember who I am. It was an insane idea that I could be anything else, and I am no longer as insane as I used to be. I am ready to set aside the imagined self and live as my Self here and now.

The following are a couple of entries in my journal from the past. I chose them not for anything exceptional about the situation or the writing, but because each one has an idea that was helpful for me to learn at the time.

2016

This morning I woke up as I usually do, lying in bed deciding on the day I would have. I went through the words I often say. I want to be happy. I want to extend love in whatever way I am directed. I want time to be elastic, allowing for whatever needs to be done. I want to see the Christ in everyone I see today. What was different than yesterday and the other days is that I couldn’t feel the conviction of my decision. It didn’t make me happy to think of this day. I didn’t feel sad or worried, I just didn’t feel happy.

I thought of this briefly and then I asked Holy Spirit to heal my mind. I told him I didn’t understand what was going on, but that I knew it was not natural to me and that I don’t have to settle for this, so I don’t want to. Reading today’s lesson, I see that I was really saying that this is not what I am, and I was asking to be reminded of the truth of my self. I was asking for the Atonement. I trust the Holy Spirit and I trust my prayers are always answered. I look forward to seeing how this unfolds in the rest of the day.

2017

Today I remind myself that I am merely practicing acceptance. I am as God created me and this has not changed, nor will it change. I have this image of myself in the Mind of God, in bed sleeping, dreaming. Sometimes I dream fun dreams, sometimes sad ones, but always dreams of something that could not happen in reality, dreams in which I am separated from God.

They are such vivid dreams, and yet, a dream no matter how real it seems is just a dream. Last year I listed all the things I wanted to do and feel. As I read this, I knew that wanting is not quite the same as deciding. It is a step in that direction, but it leaves room for failure. Today, I will know peace and love. I will know my brother as myself, and I will know our innocence and our reality. I can do this easily because this is the truth whether I know it or not. Today, I accept Atonement.

 INSIGHTS FROM HOLY SPIRIT: Here is a message I received when I was still struggling with this. It was very helpful to me.

Truly, Myron, you know who you are. Thinking that you do not is a decision you made, and then forgetting that you made the decision was also a decision on your part. That is why Heaven must be a decision you make. You decided against Heaven and so to again have Heaven in your awareness, you must change your mind and decide for it. The Atonement is the way you do this. The Atonement is the undoing of your decision against Heaven. Decide for the Atonement and you decide for Heaven.

To return to an idea from yesterday, this is not about your behavior, or about changing any part of the illusion. It is not about doing anything. You are learning to allow correction without experiencing it as painful. This is another chance to practice this. Yesterday you practiced relinquishing your need to be in control, and today a similar process will be useful. Yesterday you visualized opening your hands and allowing the pages of your Day Timer to gently fly away. You were left with open and empty hands as you came to Me.

Today allow your hands to open and release the specialness that you think of as yourself. Think of all the words that you use to describe yourself. Imagine these self-concepts resting on the palms of your hands and then gently floating away from you. Do not be afraid that there will be nothing left. These concepts are not who you are. They are hiding who you are. Not one of them approaches the true glory of your Self. I will be with you as you do this.

GRATITUDE: Thank you, Holy Spirit for all the messages you have given me and for all the ways you have helped me and healed me.