Lesson 135

If I defend myself I am attacked.
Who would defend himself unless he thought he were attacked, that the attack were real, and that his own defense could save himself? And herein lies the folly of defense; it gives illusions full reality, and then attempts to handle them as real. It adds illusions to illusions, thus making correction doubly difficult. And it is this you do when you attempt to plan the future, activate the past, or organize the present as you wish.

You operate from the belief you must protect yourself from what is happening because it must contain what threatens you. A sense of threat is an acknowledgment of an inherent weakness; a belief that there is danger which has power to call on you to make appropriate defense. The world is based on this insane belief. And all its structures, all its thoughts and doubts, its penalties and heavy armaments, its legal definitions and its codes, its ethics and its leaders and its gods, all serve but to preserve its sense of threat. For no one walks the world in armature but must have terror striking at his heart.

Defense is frightening. It stems from fear, increasing fear as each defense is made. You think it offers safety. Yet it speaks of fear made real and terror justified. Is it not strange you do not pause to ask, as you elaborate your plans and make your armor thicker and your locks more tight, what you defend, and how, and against what?

Let us consider first what you defend. It must be something that is very weak and easily assaulted. It must be something made easy prey, unable to protect itself and needing your defense. What but the body has such frailty that constant care and watchful, deep concern are needful to protect its little life? What but the body falters and must fail to serve the Son of God as worthy host?

Yet it is not the body that can fear, nor be a thing of fear. It has no needs but those which you assign to it. It needs no complicated structures of defense, no health-inducing medicine, no care and no concern at all. Defend its life, or give it gifts to make it beautiful or walls to make it safe, and you but say your home is open to the thief of time, corruptible and crumbling, so unsafe it must be guarded with your very life.

Is not this picture fearful? Can you be at peace with such a concept of your home? Yet what endowed the body with the right to serve you thus except your own belief? It is your mind which gave the body all the functions that you see in it, and set its value far beyond a little pile of dust and water. Who would make defense of something that he recognized as this?

The body is in need of no defense. This cannot be too often emphasized. It will be strong and healthy if the mind does not abuse it by assigning it to roles it cannot fill, to purposes beyond its scope, and to exalted aims which it cannot accomplish. Such attempts, ridiculous yet deeply cherished, are the sources for the many mad attacks you make upon it. For it seems to fail your hopes, your needs, your values and your dreams.

The “self” that needs protection is not real. The body, valueless and hardly worth the least defense, need merely be perceived as quite apart from you, and it becomes a healthy, serviceable instrument through which the mind can operate until its usefulness is over. Who would want to keep it when its usefulness is done?

Defend the body and you have attacked your mind. For you have seen in it the faults, the weaknesses, the limits and the lacks from which you think the body must be saved. You will not see the mind as separate from bodily conditions. And you will impose upon the body all the pain that comes from the conception of the mind as limited and fragile, and apart from other minds and separate from its Source.

These are the thoughts in need of healing, and the body will respond with health when they have been corrected and replaced with truth. This is the body’s only real defense. Yet is this where you look for its defense? You offer it protection of a kind from which it gains no benefit at all, but merely adds to your distress of mind. You do not heal, but merely take away the hope of healing, for you fail to see where hope must lie if it be meaningful.

A healed mind does not plan. It carries out the plans that it receives through listening to wisdom that is not its own. It waits until it has been taught what should be done, and then proceeds to do it. It does not depend upon itself for anything except its adequacy to fulfill the plans assigned to it. It is secure in certainty that obstacles can not impede its progress to accomplishment of any goal that serves the greater plan established for the good of everyone.

A healed mind is relieved of the belief that it must plan, although it cannot know the outcome which is best, the means by which it is achieved, nor how to recognize the problem that the plan is made to solve. It must misuse the body in its plans until it recognizes this is so. But when it has accepted this as true, then is it healed, and lets the body go.

Enslavement of the body to the plans the unhealed mind sets up to save itself must make the body sick. It is not free to be the means of helping in a plan which far exceeds its own protection, and which needs its service for a little while. In this capacity is health assured. For everything the mind employs for this will function flawlessly, and with the strength that has been given it and cannot fail.

It is, perhaps, not easy to perceive that self-initiated plans are but defenses, with the purpose all of them were made to realize. They are the means by which a frightened mind would undertake its own protection, at the cost of truth. This is not difficult to realize in some forms which these self-deceptions take, where the denial of reality is very obvious. Yet planning is not often recognized as a defense.

The mind engaged in planning for itself is occupied in setting up control of future happenings. It does not think that it will be provided for, unless it makes its own provisions. Time becomes a future emphasis, to be controlled by learning and experience obtained from past events and previous beliefs. It overlooks the present, for it rests on the idea the past has taught enough to let the mind direct its future course.

The mind that plans is thus refusing to allow for change. What it has learned before becomes the basis for its future goals. Its past experience directs its choice of what will happen. And it does not see that here and now is everything it needs to guarantee a future quite unlike the past, without a continuity of any old ideas and sick beliefs. Anticipation plays no part at all, for present confidence directs the way.

Defenses are the plans you undertake to make against the truth. Their aim is to select what you approve, and disregard what you consider incompatible with your beliefs of your reality. Yet what remains is meaningless indeed. For it is your reality that is the “threat” which your defenses would attack, obscure, and take apart and crucify.

What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good? Perhaps you have misunderstood His plan, for He would never offer pain to you. But your defenses did not let you see His loving blessing shine in every step you ever took. While you made plans for death, He led you gently to eternal life.

Your present trust in Him is the defense that promises a future undisturbed, without a trace of sorrow, and with joy that constantly increases, as this life becomes a holy instant, set in time, but heeding only immortality. Let no defenses but your present trust direct the future, and this life becomes a meaningful encounter with the truth that only your defenses would conceal.

Without defenses, you become a light which Heaven gratefully acknowledges to be its own. And it will lead you on in ways appointed for your happiness according to the ancient plan, begun when time was born. Your followers will join their light with yours, and it will be increased until the world is lighted up with joy. And gladly will our brothers lay aside their cumbersome defenses, which availed them nothing and could only terrify.

We will anticipate that time today with present confidence, for this is part of what was planned for us. We will be sure that everything we need is given us for our accomplishment of this today. We make no plans for how it will be done, but realize that our defenselessness is all that is required for the truth to dawn upon our minds with certainty.

For fifteen minutes twice today we rest from senseless planning, and from every thought that blocks the truth from entering our minds. Today we will receive instead of plan, that we may give instead of organize. And we are given truly, as we say:

If I defend myself I am attacked.
But in defenselessness I will be strong,
and I will learn what my defenses hide.

Nothing but that. If there are plans to make, you will be told of them. They may not be the plans you thought were needed, nor indeed the answers to the problems which you thought confronted you. But they are answers to another kind of question, which remains unanswered yet in need of answering until the Answer comes to you at last.

All your defenses have been aimed at not receiving what you will receive today. And in the light and joy of simple trust, you will but wonder why you ever thought that you must be defended from release. Heaven asks nothing. It is hell that makes extravagant demands for sacrifice. You give up nothing in these times today when, undefended, you present yourself to your Creator as you really are.

He has remembered you. Today we will remember Him. For this is Eastertime in your salvation. And you rise again from what was seeming death and hopelessness. Now is the light of hope reborn in you, for now you come without defense, to learn the part for you within the plan of God. What little plans or magical beliefs can still have value when you have received your function from the Voice for God Himself?

Try not to shape this day as you believe would benefit you most. For you can not conceive of all the happiness that comes to you without your planning. Learn today. And all the world will take this giant stride, and celebrate your Eastertime with you. Throughout the day, as foolish little things appear to raise defensiveness in you and tempt you to engage in weaving plans, remind yourself this is a special day for learning, and acknowledge it with this:

This is my Eastertime. And I would keep it holy.
I will not defend myself, because the Son of God
needs no defense against the truth of his reality.

INITIAL INSIGHT: There is so much good information in this lesson. I cannot cover everything in this writing and I suggest that to get the full benefit that you listen to Carol Howe on YouTube   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTnb7HaqgqU&feature=share as she discusses it at length. It will be well worth your time.

First, the very notion of defense which is core to our (ego) belief system is called into question. If I defend, I am teaching myself that I am vulnerable and weak. So, I defend when I feel frightened and the very act of defending convinces me that I have reason to be afraid.

When I think about it, nearly everything I have been taught all my life is about how to defend myself. As a toddler, one of the first things I was taught was, the word no. I was taught that the world is a very dangerous place and I had to be careful what I touched. This continued on throughout my life. Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t go there alone. Don’t dress to attract the wrong kind of attention. Don’t eat this, it is not healthy. It goes on and on.

I was taught to be afraid and to defend against ever-present dangers. Jesus is telling me that the body is not worth this defense and that I am going about its defense wrong anyway. He says that the way to keep the body healthy and serviceable is to use it only as it was intended to be used, as a communication device. The only thing we truly communicate is love and so it is a way to express love within the limitations of time and space.

As he tells me often, I am not the body, and in fact, that I am quite apart from the body. The body is merely a tool for communication, and a temporary tool at that because I will not always need to communicate in this way. If I accept that it is a tool rather than believing it is me, I will not have to jump through hoops in a failing effort to keep it safe and healthy.

Making my own plans is part of the ego’s defense strategy. I have been taught to plan for all contingencies. I learned my lesson so well that even my insurance man told me to lighten up. He said that there is no way you can plan for everything. There are only so many things you can insure against.

What is clear is that all defenses, including planning, are designed to protect the body which isn’t real, and which isn’t me. I am not a body, and as long as I spend my life defending the body, I am convincing myself that I must be a body and that, as a body, I am weak and endangered.

Making and following my own plans sicken the body. Instead of making my own plans, I can learn to wait for guidance. This requires trust as I may not understand why the guidance is given me. It may not seem to make sense or to answer the problem I think I have. Trust; the Holy Spirit gives this advice to me often. To comply perfectly, I must fully surrender the ego, become Christ-controlled.

DAILY APPLICATION: This is an excerpt from a previous posting when I was preparing for my retirement:

I think it is time to let go of the job and allow myself the joy of my ministry. I talked to Spirit about it and told Him that I couldn’t see how to make this happen, but it is what I want and what I intuit is supposed to happen, so I left it to Him to arrange things. This happened. I was told something in a casual conversation that changed everything, and now I am foreseeing the possibility of retirement in a couple of years. I didn’t try to force this or make elaborate plans on my own to make it happen. I just desired it and asked Holy Spirit to arrange it. I think this is what I want, but I have often been wrong about what I want and so I remain open to guidance.

A lot of lessons have come up for me around this idea of retirement, especially since it seems to be unfolding for me. I have to be vigilant for the ego desire to take over the planning and execution of it. The ego says, “Thanks, God. I see how it needs to go and I got this now.” Haha. It seems I need to be watchful for the mind I am using when this subject comes up. If fear or guilt is associated with it in any way, I know that it is the ego-mind I am using to do my thinking, and I change my mind as quickly as I can, to go back to using the mind I share with God to do my thinking.

An example of this happened yesterday. I thought a co-worker had forgotten to do something important. As it turned out, he had not, but in those moments when I thought he had, I panicked. If he messed up with this customer, I could lose money I need to continue my retirement plans. I felt angry with him. I quickly saw what was happening because I am vigilant for my thoughts.

I really don’t have a high tolerance for lack of peace anymore. I always want to choose union over separation. I don’t want to see my brother as my enemy. I asked the Holy Spirit to purify my thoughts and heal my mind. I saw that I had taken over the retirement plan and was trying to make the world get in line with what I thought needed to happen to assure my retirement, and this was destroying my peace as it separated me from my brother. Now instead of being a precious part of self, he was seen as my antagonist, someone getting in my way, someone I needed to defend against.

I stopped. I let that go because I realized that I don’t want to defend myself not from outside influences or by planning on my own what needs to be done. I want to focus only on my part, which is to surrender control and to extend love every chance I get. In the next few moments, I learned that I was wrong about my coworker. I ask myself every time I do this: Can I just let go of trying to be in control, of planning on my own and trying to make things happen? Can I just trust Spirit to take care of everything, and trust I will be guided to the next step? I think I can do that. I know that when I fail to do that, I can change my mind.

“Here, Holy Spirit, here is this desire to retire. I give it to You in absolute trust. Let me know when You need me to do something.”

REGINA’S TIPS

Today’s lesson is about Self-inquiry, ‘Who am I?’ And then it is about taking Self-inquiry one-step further by living from the answer.

Today’s lesson tells us that we use many forms of defense to try to protect who we think we are, and in so doing we hide the truth about ourselves from ourselves. We try to protect the body, because we think we are the body. We try to protect the psyche, because we think we are the psyche. Yet we are neither.

One form of defense that today’s lesson talks about is health. All of us take some steps each day to protect the health of the body, such as eating food, drinking water, possibly taking vitamins, etc. Is this wrong? I think not. We also take care of our homes, our yards, our automobiles, etc. Basic actions that come naturally are not the problem. Obsessive thinking about health & attempts to CONTROL health are the problems.

A question we can ask ourselves is, “Do I think excessively about the health (or safety or appearance) of the body?” If so, attachment to the body is a block to truth for you.

Today’s lesson tells us that the body “need merely be perceived as quite apart from you.” — Practice Self-inquiry. Ask, “Who am I?” and look to discover the truest answer to that question. “This is the body’s only real defense. Yet is this where you look for its defense?”

Another form of defense that today’s lesson talks about is planning. We may plan for the protection of the body or we may plan for the protection of the psyche. Either way, the “mind engaged in planning for itself is occupied in setting up CONTROL of future happenings.”

Does this mean it is wrong to plan a lunch date with a friend or plan to go to a retreat or on vacation? I think not. This is not referring to practical planning that is naturally a part of a human life. Obsessive thinking about the future and attempts to CONTROL future outcomes are the problem.

A question we can ask ourselves is, “Do I think I need some things to go a certain way in order for me to be safe/happy?” If so, you have become attached to the psyche’s idea of itself, and that is a block to truth for you.

Today’s lesson tells us that “self-initiated plans … are the means by which a frightened mind would undertake its own protection, at the cost of truth.” — Practice Self-inquiry. Ask, “Who am I?” and look to discover the truest answer to that question.

Today’s lesson recommends that we live from the answer to our Self-inquiry. Instead of falling back into ways of being that are intended to protect the body or psyche as who I am, the lesson suggests, “Let no defenses but your PRESENT TRUST direct the future, and this life becomes a meaningful encounter with the truth…”

There is a difference between trying to control things and living from present trust. There is a difference in how they feel. This difference in feeling gives us the opportunity to be honest with ourselves, if we pay attention.

Will we accept whatever experiences come in this lifetime, whether they are what we would have preferred or not, and use them to further our awareness of truth?

Whether I am sick or healthy, I can ask, “Who am I?” and see the answer. Whether I am rich or poor, I can ask, “Who am I?” and see the answer. Whether I live in one place or another, am married or single, have this or that, I can ask, “Who am I?” and see the answer.

What if we live our lives in this way?: Although some basic planning and taking care of one’s body will occur, the attitude is one of openness, allowance and trust with only the purpose of truth realization. For example, what if I plan for a vacation, pay for a vacation and then something occurs. I cannot go and I lose the money paid. Can I live with that as happily as I would have lived with the vacation? After all, going or not going can both be a distraction from Self-inquiry, and Self-inquiry can occur whether I go or don’t go, so has anything really changed at all?

Instead of living from our beliefs about who we think we are, let’s begin to live from Self-inquiry with self-honestly.

Pay attention to yourself. What beliefs about yourself are you living from?

MY THOUGHTS

This is the core of the lesson, I think. When we defend who we think we are, there is no way for us to discover who we really are. It might not seem such a big deal that we spend a lot of time on the body, but what that means, that is, our motivation for doing so might be moving us more deeply into the ego. As Regina points out this lesson is not about ignoring the needs of the body, but it is about obsessive thinking about the body and its needs. I will add it is also about the error of using the body to get what we think we need from others, like attention, approval, and love.