Lesson 116

Lesson 116

(101) God’s Will for me is perfect happiness.
God’s Will is perfect happiness for me. And I can suffer 
but from the belief there is another will apart from His.

(102) I share God’s Will for happiness for me.
I share my Father’s Will for me, His Son. 
What He has given me is all I want. 
What He has given me is all there is.

On the hour:
God’s Will for me is perfect happiness.

On the half hour:
I share God’s Will for happiness for me.

 

Journal

Since happiness is God’s Will for me, the only way I can be unhappy is if I believe in a will different than God’s. That belief is fading away for me. It is not completely gone because I can see its effects at times. Sometimes it is just the thought that something shouldn’t be happening or that if something different were happening then I could be happy. But I don’t hold those beliefs very long. I notice them and then remember they could not be true.

Once in a while, I will feel disheartened in a kind of hazy way for no apparent reason, but then I share God’s Will for happiness for me and the feeling dissolves. When something important to me is not going as expected, generally when my children seem to be endangered, I can be unhappy until I am able to return to normalcy again.

I return to sanity as I choose happiness and by remembering that we are not these bodies and this world is not real and we cannot be in danger. So, I have not entirely accepted God’s Will for happiness for me, but I am doing so more and more frequently and in so doing, I am beginning to believe that there is no will but God’s Will and that I want nothing else.

Ultimately, I will fully accept God’s Will is my will and that is all that exists and all that I want as I accept my true Self. I am continuing to meditate every day in as much patience and heartfelt desire as I can. In a few minutes, I will be still in expectancy of knowing my Self. Each time I sit down for this meditation, I do so with the happy thought that this might be the day. I am also beginning to have moments during the day when I am still, waiting, expecting.

Regina’s Tips

Sometimes we may be asked to contemplate material we do not like. Maybe the material uses words or symbols we do not like. Maybe we don’t have any mental understanding at all, and we feel frustrated about that lack of understanding. Maybe we don’t like the source of the quote. Maybe we have judgments against the person who spoke or wrote the quote, or maybe we have judgments against the text or spiritual path the quote comes from.

Any judgments we have about the material we are contemplating will get in the way of receiving wisdom. If we have any judgments at all about the material, we serve ourselves best by being willing to look at our judgments and let them go.

Grievances block wisdom, and that includes any grievance we may hold against any written word.

My Thoughts

I know that Regina is right about this. At times, I have grievances against the written word that comes from Regina. It caused me grief and distrust, not the writings, but that Regina had embraced teachings that I didn’t care for. She and I had shared a love of A Course in Miracles and she was my teacher of those words for years. We both loved NTI and she taught me with those words. Even Inner Ramana, which was beginning to move out of my comfort zone was a wonderful teaching device and again, I learned from Regina.

But then she began to teach from writings that did not inspire me and I felt abandoned and resented the writings since I loved Regina too much to resent her. But my desire to awaken is stronger than any grievance and so, somehow I wound up here studying this information in Gentle Awakening. The barrier I erected against my own good is crumbling a bit at a time. There are teachings that still do not inspire me, but they are not irritating me anymore and I am open to feeling differently if that is where my own true Self wants to take me.

Past Entry

The fact is, God wills only happiness for me, and in fact, He wills only perfect happiness. This means there is never a time or a circumstance in which the Will of God is less than perfect happiness for me. There is never a time in which in which God judges me unworthy of happiness, or when less than happiness would be for my good. Always and forever, the Will of God is unchanging. He wants me to be happy.

The only reason I do not experience God’s Will for me is that I think there is a will apart from His, something that is different than the Will of God. This different will is that which I made when I chose to experience separation. As long as I decide to believe in the separate personal will, it will continue to be true for me, and I will continue to suffer the consequences. My choice for a separate will does nothing to change the Will of God. Happiness is still His Will.

The mechanism that undoes the belief in a different will is in my mind waiting for me to use it, and I want to use it. It is my sincere desire to return my mind to Reality. I want to be happy. I have processes that help me release the false ego will and accept the Will of God that is my true will. All of them lead me Home because all of them lead me to embrace my true desire.

One day there were tornado warnings in my area. For a moment I was aware of the ego belief in fear and destruction. I thought about some of the pictures of devastation I had seen in the wake of tornadoes and was aware of the ego saying that I should be afraid. I could have listened to that voice, and I saw in a flash of insight, exactly where that would take me, and what kind of day I would have if I did listen. I chose differently though, allowing the Holy Spirit to remove from my mind the desire to indulge in fear-based thoughts.

All of this happened very quickly, taking no more time than it took to put the milk back in the refrigerator. But the process of choosing to believe in God’s Will for me, or choosing to believe in the ego will was very clear at that moment. Because my choice was unequivocal this time, I spent the day very differently than I could have. I never thought again about tornadoes and their destructive potential. I did not have another fear thought about the weather, and the weather dissipated both in my mind and in the world outside my window.

It is always this simple. Choosing to be happy may not change the appearance of things happening in the world (though it may), but my experience of them changes. The ego will argue that some things demand my attention and some things are just scary and a Pollyanna attitude won’t help. But could that be true? Could there be anything that is beyond the will of God? I can dream there is, but I cannot make it so. The ego is wrong. Consistently choosing the Will of God will change everything. It is the way I live the happy dream. It is the way I wake up from the dream.