Helping My Brother Is Helping Myself

Helping My Brother Is Helping Myself. There are many ways I can help my brother and myself at the same time.

There are many ways I can help my brother and myself at the same time.

I don’t watch the news but I do read the headlines on my news app. For a long time now, I have been watching my reaction to what I read. If I read about someone’s crime and I judged him or her, I asked the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. Then I began to add something else to this process. I began to pray for the one I used to judge. That felt better.

Recently, I began to look at their picture and I tell them that they are safe, that they are loved. I say to the one who stole from his boss, “It’s OK, honey, that is not you. You are not here, rather you are in God where He put you. You are both what He created and where He created you”. I trust the Holy Spirit to deliver that message where it is needed and I know that it comes back to me stronger than it was when I sent it.

“You cannot be hurt, and do not want to show your brother anything except your wholeness.” (T-5.IV.4:4)

I used to have trouble letting go of grievances. I would say I wanted to forgive but then I would hit this wall. It was a wall that said, “But he did it”. And there I would be stuck, wanting to be free but not willing to free him. And all along, it was I that suffered. I don’t have that problem anymore. I understand that we all go home

together. These days, I understand what should have been obvious. If I convince my brother he is guilty, he cannot enter the Kingdom because we cannot bring guilt into God. If I think he is guilty, I have now reinforced the belief in guilt in my own mind and I will use it against myself. It is only common sense that I must let go of what is not part of God. My need for him to be innocent is as great as my need to know my innocence.

“Your gratitude to your brother is the only gift I want.” (T-4.VI.7:2)

I help my brother and myself when I am grateful for him. I am grateful for all my brothers, the ones who support me and teach me as well as the ones who trigger me. Those who push my buttons are bringing to my awareness what it is in my mind that needs to be seen and forgiven. We always look in before we look out. So, what I see in my brother is what I first saw within myself.

I was shopping one day and kept seeing the same woman. The reason I noticed her particularly because she was frowning. I thought how unfriendly she seemed. A few minutes later, I passed a mirror and glanced at it and saw the same expression on my face. I was frowning and looked unfriendly. I didn’t like it on me either. That was funny and a good lesson for me. I began to smile so that I could uplift the next person and I felt grateful to the woman who showed me what I needed to change.

“When two minds join as one and share one idea equally, the first link in the awareness of the Sonship as one has been made.” (T-16.II.4:3)

The many little opportunities to be grateful for others help me set a pattern of feeling gratitude. Now my gratitude is more consistent, more universal. I facilitate courses for many people and, in so doing, I am helping them and equally they are helping me. Because people are willing to join with me for this purpose, I, as well as them, benefit in this way.

Every time I have this opportunity, I feel immense gratitude for my brother and his willingness to join. This happens every day and has done so for years. It has created a constant state of gratitude that encompasses even those I don’t know. I no longer need a reason to feel gratitude for someone. I feel gratitude for their existence, gratitude that they complete the Sonship. Gratitude is nearly a constant state now.

“Dream of your brother’s kindnesses instead of dwelling in your dreams on his mistakes.

Select his thoughtfulness to dream about instead of counting up the hurts he gave. Forgive him his illusions, and give thanks to him for all the helpfulness he gave. And do not brush aside his many gifts because he is not perfect in your dreams. He represents his Father, Whom you see as offering both life and death to you.” (T-27.VII.15:3-7)

This is one of my favourite passages. I can dream of my brother’s kindnesses or I can dream of his mistakes. It is up to me. One day, I met someone who seemed to rub me the wrong way. I tried to distance myself from her. I didn’t make eye contact. Nor did I express or feel gratitude for her help. I saw myself doing this and I wanted to stop. The desire to join instead was like a fleeting thought but it was there just below the ego desire to attack. And my desire to separate was an attack. It was an attack on the Sonship, on our place in the Sonship.

Before I left her company, she did something that was helpful to me and this small action helped to pull me out of the story of two ego personalities clashing. I forgave her illusion and gave thanks for her help. I stopped brushing aside her many gifts because I dreamed that she was not perfect.

“When a brother behaves insanely, you can heal him only by perceiving the sanity in him.

If you perceive his errors and accept them, you are accepting yours. If you want to give yours over to the Holy Spirit, you must do this with his.” (T-9.III.5:1-3)

I’m grateful that Jesus included this passage because there will always be times when a brother behaves insanely. Insanity is anything that is not reality, not the truth of his being. Here is an example of something that happened to me. A friend of mine texted me for advice about a problem she had. I replied and was later surprised when she responded in anger feeling like I had attacked her.

It was never my intention to do so and I didn’t understand why she felt that way. But I didn’t defend myself because it is “In my defenselessness my safety lies.” (W-153). I didn’t say anything that would give her the impression that she had hurt me. Instead, I just apologised. I gave the whole thing to the Holy Spirit. Later she sent me a message saying she had misunderstood my words and the whole thing was over.

“When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter.

As you see him you will see yourself. As you treat him you will treat yourself. As you think of him you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.” (T-8.III.4:1-5)

When I met the aforementioned woman I didn’t like, I temporarily forgot that it was a holy encounter. I treated her as if she were the body image standing in front of me. Thus, I felt like I was the body image of Myron rather than the Son of God that I am. In forgetting who she was, I forgot who I was. I lost myself. But because I practise gratitude for my brothers every chance I get, when that quiet Voice began to nudge me back to sanity, I heard it.

I made a different decision. Instead of listening to the vicious ego speaking so loudly in my mind, I decided to listen to the Voice for God instead. This little drama was all played out in my mind only, but it mattered. It mattered to both her and me. What is in my mind is in the entire mind of the Sonship including the woman I was trying to push away. But so was my change of mind.

“You need the blessing you can offer him.

There is no way for you to have it except by giving it. This is the law of God, and it has no exceptions. What you deny you lack, not because it is lacking, but because you have denied it in another and are therefore not aware of it in yourself.” (T-7.VII.2:3-6)

First, I need the blessing I can offer my brother. I accept this as true. The fact that I could even momentarily forget my purpose and slip into unconscious thinking and behaviour shows me I need blessings. And it makes sense to me that I cannot have it without giving it. By denying a blessing to my brother, I will not be aware of it in myself. I am especially drawn to the sentence that says there are no exceptions to this law of God.

This tells me that I must heed what Jesus is telling us in this passage. I need blessings so I must give blessings. There are so many opportunities to do this. Clerks at the store where I buy my groceries, people I read about in the paper, family members, people who post on Facebook or comment on my posts are all opportunities for me to bless my brothers. Even those who exist only in my memories need my blessings and I am blessed as I do this.

“You who hold your brother’s hand also hold mine, for when you joined each other you were not alone. Do you believe that I would leave you in the darkness that you agreed to leave with me?” (T-18.III.4:1-2)

“I hold your hand as surely as you agreed to take your brother’s. You will not separate, for I stand with you and walk with you in your advance to truth. And where we go we carry God with us.” (T-18.III.5:5-7)

Sometimes when I am listening to the ego instead of the Holy Spirit, it can make sense to me that I am alone and separate from my brothers and from God. But this unpleasant feeling cannot sustain itself in me anymore. This is because I am not alone in deciding for God. Jesus holds my hand on this journey and God goes with me wherever I go.

I only need to turn toward the light and I am surrounded by all the help I need to complete the journey. I am so very grateful for all who go with me – for every single seemingly separate brother regardless of the form or any confusion we experience in our meeting. And I will join in purpose any who are willing to join with me and even those who have forgotten that is their purpose. The rest is taken care of by the Holy Spirit.

This was an article I wrote that was published in Miracle Worker Magazine. If you enjoyed this, you might want to get on their mailing list. There are many other excellent Course teachers who also write for them, as well as teachers, including me, who give presentations on Zoom for Miracle Network. To discover more about them, CLICK HERE.