VII. Distortions of Miracle Impulses, P 2
2 Child of God, you were created to create the good, the beautiful and the holy. Do not forget this. The Love of God, for a little while, must still be expressed through one body to another, because vision is still so dim. You can use your body best to help you enlarge your perception so you can achieve real vision, of which the physical eye is incapable. Learning to do this is the body’s only true usefulness.
Thus far what I have learned here in this first part of the Course is that I am a child of God, created in His image, thus I am a creator as well. I create as God creates, that is as an extension of what I am, love. Or as stated here, I am created to create, the good, the beautiful and the holy. This is what I am to remember.
Because I have chosen to experience separation, my vision is too dim to create in this way, and so for now I express this love of God from one body to another. I do this until vision has increased. I do this through enlarging my perception, and learning to see, not with the body’s eyes, but with true vision. Another way to think of this is that I do this through learning to perform miracles.
Here is an example of what this looks like to me in my life. Last night I spent the evening with my daughter, Susan. We have a regular “date” for Monday nights and sometimes we meet at a restaurant, but often I cook supper at my house and that’s what we did last night. We ate supper and shared our life stories. Then Susan sat with me as I packed for the coming week and it turned into a “dress up” party.
Susan has an artist’s eye and is very creative. She helped me to put together some outfits differently in a way that would never have occurred to me. It was like going shopping and being surprised with what I found but better, because I never left my room and I didn’t have to spend any money.
She also helped me go through some of my clothes and decide if they looked good on me or I should give them away which was very helpful because I have a hard time deciding. Sometimes I become confused about what clothes are for and keep them because I don’t feel I got my money’s worth, or because I paid too much to admit I don’t really like it. We laughed as Susan pointed out I have a very complicated relationship with my clothes.
I told her that obviously I needed to forgive these clothes and my relationship with them because there was entirely too much guilt involved. It was a very light-hearted and humorous exchange and yet, it was also true and an example of guilt coming forward so I could forgive it. It was also an example to me of how easy it is to enlarge my perception when I have one unified goal. My goal is to forgive the world and awaken to the truth. So even a fun evening ending with an off-hand remark becomes a way to do that.
Susan and I have always loved each other very much, but for a long time my relationship with Susan was like my relationship with my clothes; it was very complicated. There was a lot of guilt in the relationship, which kept me from fully enjoying her company. This was true of all my relationships, not just the relationship with Susan. As long as I believe in guilt it will show up everywhere.
The guilt showed up as a response to my belief that I made mistakes raising her. I projected guilt onto the relationship in many ways. I would say something to her and watch her response, and because guilt was in my mind, I would perceive her response as a judgment of what I said. I loved her and wanted to be with her but it was hard, and because I was a regular projecting machine, I saw Susan as the problem. I told myself that she just was hard to be with because I never knew what was going to set her off.
It’s really funny now to look back on that and see how turned around I had it. Everything I saw in her was actually coming from my own mind. When I thought she was hard to be with, it was actually me that was hard for me to be with! As I forgave myself and forgiveness became the way I live, my perception of Susan, and everyone else, shifted. Perception expanded and my vision changed.
Now even if Susan were to respond with apparent judgment, it does not trigger anything in me. I know that it is about her, not about me. Because I know this, my reaction is more loving. I don’t need anything from her so I don’t expect her to be in a good mood all the time. And if she is not in a good mood it doesn’t affect my feelings about myself.
This healing of my own mind makes a whole different experience of being with Susan. I know that this change is about my expanded perception because Susan has not changed. She is the same delightful person she always was. It’s just that now I see her perfection clearly because forgiveness has purified my vision.
This is an ongoing process, this forgiveness work. It continues to happen in my relationship with Susan and in all my relationships. When I notice I feel someone is a difficult friend or what I used to think of as “high maintenance” I know that it is my mind that needs work. As my mind heals I become the friend I thought I needed the other person to be.
This is a miracle and it is the purpose the Holy Spirit has given bodies. We made them to allow the illusion of separation, and now that we are ready to wake up from that dream, the Holy Spirit has given them the purpose of joining. This is done through forgiveness and the resultant miracle of a changed mind. It shows up in my life in the most delightful ways. It shows up as two people joining for the purpose of sharing the love of God even if it looks like two people amusing themselves playing in my closet.