VII. Distortions of Miracle Impulses, P 1
1 Your distorted perceptions produce a dense cover over miracle impulses, making it hard for them to reach your own awareness. The confusion of miracle impulses with physical impulses is a major perceptual distortion. Physical impulses are misdirected miracle impulses. All real pleasure comes from doing God’s Will. This is because not doing it is a denial of Self. Denial of Self results in illusions, while correction of the error brings release from it. Do not deceive yourself into believing that you can relate in peace to God or to your brothers with anything external.
I was helped, this morning, to see some instances of distorted perceptions producing a dense cover over miracle impulse, and how this leads me to misdirect my miracle impulses. The following are some examples that came to me. The desire to heal distorted by the desire to lay on hands or to give medical advice or medical treatment. This does not mean that Reiki and other forms of energy work, or the medicine I take, nor the medical treatment I use when needed are wrong, bad or should not be done. This is not about behavior in the world. This is about understanding, intent, and motivation.
I used to practice Reiki for a bit, and while doing so I had the opportunity to work with a woman who had cancer all over her body. The next day she told me that she had slept all night. This was the first night’s sleep for her in a very long time. I was so happy to hear that I had given her this gift. That it came through Reiki didn’t matter. It was not my hands that gave her relief from pain, but the intention to be a blessing to her. It was God working through my body to ease her body because this is where she thought she had a problem.
The misperception is that my body did anything to her body. Both of our bodies are illusions and neither body does anything. My body does not heal another body, and her body was not sick. The mind was sick and that sickness was projected as a sick body. My hands hold no magical power to heal, but in my mind was the love that offered healing to the extent we were both willing to accept it, and that healing was reflected as a body relieved of pain, if only temporarily.
The desire to join with a brother or sister is distorted as trying to connect physically, trying to emulate or become like another, or follow another. To express love through affectionate behavior, gifting, praising or pleasing. Again, there is nothing wrong with any of these behaviors. I am certainly not going to stop hugging my friends because it is a distorted miracle impulse. That would not represent healing of the mind.
Instead, I realize that any physical expression of love is a pale reflection of real love. I ask the Holy Spirit to guide me in helpful ways to use my body to express love while I am still identified with the body. I notice when I have used the body in an attempt to gain something I feel I am missing, and I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind when this happens.
The desire to be a teacher of God can be distorted as the attempt to direct another’s spiritual progress. I am a teacher of God. When I act as a messenger and allow Spirit to teach through me, I am a true teacher of God. When I forget that a messenger does not write the message, but simply delivers it, and I think that I know what the other person needs to hear or how they need to understand it, I am no longer a teacher of God. That impulse to be a clear a channel has become distorted, and the body is no longer an instrument to be used to perform miracles.
The innate abundance that we know we are can be distorted as the desire for more material gain. It is my Divine nature to be complete, to lack nothing. In separation, this is not my experience, but there is a knowing that it should be. Abundance tries to express through me. This impulse to express abundance is distorted because as I see myself as separated I will feel inevitably feel lack. The miracle impulse becomes an impulse to collect things against the loss I feel is unavoidable.
I plan for the future, save money, buy more stuff, and insure it against that expected loss. Instead of feeling my innate abundance, this behavior or even the belief I should be behaving like this increases the feelings of lack and loss. I can never buy enough stuff or protect my “wealth” to the degree I feel abundant. Until I let go of the belief in loss, all my attempts at safeguarding will fall short of reassuring me. If I had more money than I could ever spend, I would worry that the economy would tank and my money would be worthless.
If I were financially abundant, I would feel impoverished in my relationships, or my health. It is not what I have or don’t have that enriches me, and so it cannot satisfy in me the desire to have nor calm my fears of loss. Abundance is not having more, it is the certainty that whatever is needed will be provided in that moment. Trying to prepare for that moment only erodes that certainty because it implies that needs may not be met and so it is necessary to do something about it.
Another way I have tried in the past to fill the sense of emptiness that separation engenders is with food or shopping. Some people use drugs and alcohol. These are all distorted miracle impulses. There is a knowing in us that we should be abundantly happy and lack nothing. We know, deep down, that we should have peace of mind and joy. We know that there is something wrong with the feeling of being alone even when we are with others, and we know that this is not right.
When I feel this discontent I can become temporarily confused and think that there is something out there I need in order to soothe myself, to fill up the empty place in my heart that longs for satisfaction. Maybe I will try to find a good book to read or a friend to visit. Maybe I will have a drink or eat some cake. Maybe I will go shopping even though I don’t need anything.
Gambling, sex, TV, the list is endless, but, ultimately unsatisfying. The real impulse is the miracle of a healed mind that knows it is forever whole and with no needs of any kind. The attempt to fill the emptiness with things is a distortion of that impulse. I used to believe in those magical solutions, but now that I don’t I only need to be vigilant for the ego’s desire to use them.
When I feel a sense of lack of any kind, I ask Spirit what He wants me to know about this. I ask for His guidance and clarity. If the impulse for a miracle becomes distorted through misperception, I just return to the miracle as soon as I come to my senses. There is nothing external to me that can bring me the peace that is my inheritance.
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