VII. Creation and Communication, P 7
7 God has kept your Kingdom for you, but He cannot share His joy with you until you know it with your whole mind. Revelation is not enough, because it is only communication from God. God does not need revelation returned to Him, which would clearly be impossible, but He does want it brought to others. This cannot be done with the actual revelation; its content cannot be expressed, because it is intensely personal to the mind that receives it. It can, however, be returned by that mind to other minds, through the attitudes the knowledge from the revelation brings.
At first I was a little uncertain about revelations. I think I confused them with miracles because when miracles first began appearing in my mind and life they seemed so extraordinary. But having experienced revelation, I see it cannot be mistaken for anything else. When I gave a workshop recently, I was so completely in the flow of God’s Love that I was uplifted and inspired. I was joyful in a way that I do not experience normally.
This was miraculous because it was like being without ego for awhile and because it did not come from my mind but through my mind. But as wonderful as it was, it was not revelation. I have had a sudden knowing, not an understanding through the mind, but a knowing that appeared in the mind, from outside the mind. That was miraculous, but it was not revelation.
I have experienced revelation and I wish I could tell you about it, but though I have put words to the experience, they are so inadequate as to be meaningless. So I cannot share this experience with you, but what I can and do share is the conviction that came from it. I know that I am not this body and this story. I know that God is real and that we are meant to experience God. This conviction informs my words and my actions and so are helpful to others.
I am in that interesting and frustrating place of knowing that I am not even really here where I appear to be and yet, I feel like I am here and act like I am here. I forget for long moments at a time that this is an illusion and sometimes get so involved in the story that I suffer. And yet, no matter how confused I become, how emotionally involved I become, I know this is not right. I know I am not what I am temporarily believing. Well, the good that comes from this, and there is always a good use for ego when we give it to Holy Spirit, is that I can speak about ego clearly and can speak about spirit as well.
In the meantime, God keeps my Kingdom safe for me. He keeps my identity safe from my illusions. He keeps my creations safe while my mind wanders. But what He cannot do is share His joy with me while my mind is split. My split mind has shut down much of our channel of communication. I have tasted joy, not the anemic happiness experienced through the illusion, but real joy directly from God and I want more. I am highly motivated to continue to undo the ego. I want to open that channel fully. I know that what I felt was not complete because the channel is not completely open, and though I cannot imagine more love than I felt in that moment, I want it anyway.
Do you think that you cannot experience revelation? That you are not ready? That you are not worthy? God does not make any of His children special. If it is for any one of them it is for all of them. In fact, God wants to reveal Himself to you. He is just waiting for you to open to His love. He wants to experience His love through you and He wants you to take this love to all His children. So it is not God Who is holding back from you, but you who, in your fear, are blocking God.
I understand this. When I think I want this experience again and ask for it, I feel a reluctance to receive. I know; it’s crazy, right? I want it and yet I hesitate, and that hesitation is the split in the mind. The part of my mind that is attached to the story instinctively knows that too much God and I won’t come back. Ego really, really, doesn’t want to go there. That is why I must undo the ego. I am not guilty for this reluctance. God simply waits patiently for me to change my mind as He knows I will.