V. The Ego-Body Illusion, P 3
3 Any thought system that confuses God and the body must be insane. Yet this confusion is essential to the ego, which judges only in terms of threat or non-threat to itself. In one sense the ego’s fear of God is at least logical, since the idea of Him does dispel the ego. But fear of the body, with which the ego identifies so closely, makes no sense at all.
The idea of God dispels the ego and I made a choice this weekend to dispel the ego more quickly and more completely. I chose to shift the idea of God’s Will in my life to something more inclusive. For a while now the idea that I want God’s Will has been playing around the periphery of my consciousness. I would consider doing something and then I would ask, “Is this God’s Will for me?” Sometimes I would even wait for an answer to form in my mind. ~smile~
Saturday, I read an article by Nouk Sanchez in which she used this prayer:
I choose only God’s Will for me, from this moment onward. In so doing, I choose to forfeit my own independent will in every area of my life.
I knew immediately that this is the prayer I had been moving toward. Though I didn’t realize it at the time, my previous prayer was me asking myself if I was ready to choose God’s Will. It was me preparing myself to make this choice.
Later that morning when I was studying a Pathways of Light course with two other people, I noticed a slip of paper on the table. It had the same prayer on it. One of the women I was studying with had been using this prayer and I had written it down for my own use, but then I had seemingly forgotten about it. I don’t think I really forgot about it. I think I was not quite ready for this total commitment. Now I am.
I see the Holy Spirit’s gentle hand in this. He guides me a step at a time so that in each instance of change I am ready for it. I recognize some resistance to the idea of forfeiting my independent will in every instance. I also realize how nonsensical this is. To be afraid of God’s Will is to believe that He wants me to suffer, that His Will might be something bad for me.
The fear of God is the last obstacle to peace and I choose to overcome that obstacle now. Just as I have done many, many times I see the fear, the resistance, and I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. This is a mighty thing I do and I do it for the Sonship. This is no time for false humility. I step up and take my place as savior of the world.
Its funny really, because this all began with the thought a few months ago that I was tired of dieting, of worrying about what I eat and trying to figure out what was good for me and what wasn’t. It seems (to the ego) that saying this decision has led me to being the savior of the world is way over the top, and yet isn’t that our function? Lesson 206, says clearly that the salvation of the world depends on me. And what does it matter the story that leads us to that function? They are all just stories, some funny and some dramatic, but always just stories. One is as good as another if we use it as an opportunity for healing the mind.