VII. Creating versus the Self-Image, P 2
2 You cannot resolve the authority problem by depreciating the power of your mind. To do so is to deceive yourself, and this will hurt you because you really understand the strength of the mind. You also realize that you cannot weaken it, any more than you can weaken God. The “devil” is a frightening concept because he seems to be extremely powerful and extremely active. He is perceived as a force in combat with God, battling Him for possession of His creations. The devil deceives by lies, and builds kingdoms in which everything is in direct opposition to God. Yet he attracts men rather than repels them, and they are willing to “sell” him their souls in return for gifts of no real worth. This makes absolutely no sense.
Rather than acting as if my mind is weak, I am learning to use the power of my mind to undo what I have done. I watch for thoughts that indicate I am still trying to depreciate that power. For instance, recently I gained five pounds. Usually, when this happens, I just go on a diet and lose it. No big deal. But this time I realized that I was tired of the merry go round and that I wanted off once and for all. Since I know that my body is in my mind, the solution is also in my mind, and I asked the Holy Spirit to heal my mind of my false beliefs about food and body image.
As I have been doing this, I realize that I have many deep-rooted ideas about food and the body and this is harder than I would ever have believed possible. I also noticed that I tend to get discouraged and I feel like I can’t do this. I notice that when this happens I feel fear and when I asked the Holy Spirit about the source of the fear, I realized it was fear that the truth is not true, and I really am only this fragile and weak body.
My ego looks on those five pounds and my failure to see it differently as a symbol of all my separation thinking and sees it as proof positive that I am in competition with God and am winning, though it is a pitiful prize indeed. This increases the fear and the desire to hide. My first reaction is to push these thoughts away with an admonition to myself that this can’t be true and I shouldn’t be thinking it.
Of course, thinking I am wrong for the beliefs in my mind just piles on more guilt and more fear of failure. But while this visceral reaction to guilt and fear, this desire to run from my thoughts, is still there I don’t listen to it anymore. What I do now is to ask the Holy Spirit to heal this belief, too.
As I accept the Holy Spirit’s healing I notice that the conflict eases and I become more comfortable with the process. I feel patient and I feel certain that the ego beliefs about food and the body will be healed. They must be healed because they are not true and the mind that was powerful enough to create this illusion is powerful enough to let it go.
The devil Jesus speaks of sounds suspiciously like the ego. The difference between the devil I learned of from religion and the ego I learned of from Jesus, is that the devil was something outside of me. It was the place I projected my more aggressive thoughts of being in competition with God. It was not my fault, “The devil made me do it.” The devil was a way to hide from the really scary thought that I was fighting God for my authorship.
The ego is the “devil” in my mind. It is the desire to be something I am not, to experience something God did not create. It still scares me that I turned from God to the ego, but the fear is of my own doing. God is not the cause of my fear; my thoughts about God are what scare me. I sold my soul to the ego, and the ego remade me in its own image, then remade God in its image as well. The ego mind gave me an illusion of a weak and powerless victim against an angry and vengeful God. How did I imagine this was a bargain I wanted?
I have a sense of being separate and all I had to give up was peace, love, joy, freedom and complete safety. And, oh yeah, the love of God, because I cannot see myself as loved by God if I think I am at war with Him. It is all a lie, an incredible deceit, and no one is responsible except my self. I willingly and happily admit I have done this and I ask that it be undone.
5 thoughts on “C 3: VII. Creating versus the Self-Image, P 2”
Even as a child I had a difficult time believing in the devil, even though I was taught about the devil by religious teachers and by the adults who loved and cared for me. For the devil to exist, God would have had to create “him” and I just could not conceive of that being a possibility. I did, however, believe that people were capable of being evil and one had to keep an eye out for evil in the world. When one is “looking out” for the evil in the world, one is constantly judging everyone they see to determine if they are people that one might like to be around or not. I think the end result of all the judging is the same as “selling one’s sole to the devil”. One of the joys I received by reading the course was learning that judgement of anyone is totally unnecessary since our Father’s son is perfectly holy, perfectly loving and perfectly lovable. If I can’t see the holiness that He bestowed upon His son, that does not mean that His son has changed it simply means that I think that I am capable of changing what He has created (and sustains each instant for all eternity). As the course teaches, I am better off to realize that my thinking is upside down and change my thought system. Spirit will always help me correct my thinking.
I have been hearing the voice of spirit all of my life but did not realize it. Even as a small child, when I was raiding the cookie jar, a voice/thought in my head would gently remind me that taking the cookies without parental permission was
not a good choice. I did not always listen to this advice but I always received it and still do to this day. I tend to listen to the voice now and assume that it is always good advice. It tells me all to often to stop judging, to have faith in the holiness of my brothers (which includes me), to have faith in His creation being perfect in every way. I find it very calming and peaceful when I am able to stop judging, if only for a short while!
Thank you for your guidance and your thoughts!
the son of I AM and your brother,
Charles, you and I seem to be at similar places on the path. I did not have such clarity when I was young, but I do now. I did have some extraordinary moments of clarity before I began this path in earnest and moments when clearly I was being guided and given words as well. Now, I deliberately listen for that Voice, and most of the time I hear it very clearly as thoughts in my mind and as knowings and peace that have no source within the world or the thinking mind. I am so grateful for this.
I have no idea where I might be on the path that we are taking but I know that I want to stay on this path and awaken from the nightmare that I am projecting. Thoughts always precede seeing, so watching over my thoughts is certainly a good idea. Asking spirit for help to correct my thoughts is a necessity.
Years ago, I became a noncustodial parent due to a failed marriage. I asked our Father for help and received all the help that I requested and then some. The one problem that I just couldn’t seem to get over was the fact that I could no longer be a parent to my sons, the best that I could do was to be a good friend and example. When I began reading the course I was awakened to the fact that our Father has only one son, was with His son always, and sustained His son for eternity. So essentially, I had usurped His authority as our Father. After running that around in my head for a very short time, I came to the realization that my children in this illusion (which is not real) are His son and that our Father is watching over His son. After being overwhelmed with peace and thankfulness, I thanked Him and knew that to worry about my children or anything else was to turn my back on God, totally unnecessary and something that I should stop doing! I feel more at peace every day.
Thank You for your guiding thoughts.
Gosh, Charles, that brought tears to my eyes. I have a situation with one of my children that has caused me to worry, give it to God, then take it back and worry some more. I honestly had not thought about usurping God and that my child is His Son. Of course, I can turn my child over to our Father for care. That little change in perspective means so much to me. So, thank you, Charles.
You are more than welcome. Sharing positive thoughts is a good thing. When I read in the course that “God has only one son”, it resonated with me and caused me to consider what that meant and how it could be applied to correcting my thought system.
Our Father, “having only one son”, says a lot to me about the lack of separation in the reality,
as does the fact that “thoughts never leave the mind of their creator”. God’s extended thoughts have effects and the sum of those effects is His creation, yet the thoughts never leave His Mind so they are there sustaining His creation for eternity. One can then consider that one is actually an eternal thought of our Father? Is a spiritual being of His love and His light a holy thought of God?
Thank you for your thoughts.
His son and your brother,