VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 2
2 The choice to judge rather than to know is the cause of the loss of peace. Judgment is the process on which perception but not knowledge rests. I have discussed this before in terms of the selectivity of perception, pointing out that evaluation is its obvious prerequisite. judgment always involves rejection. It never emphasizes only the positive aspects of what is judged, whether in you or in others. What has been perceived and rejected, or judged and found wanting, remains in your mind because it has been perceived. One of the illusions from which you suffer is the belief that what you judged against has no effect. This cannot be true unless you also believe that what you judged against does not exist. You evidently do not believe this, or you would not have judged against it. In the end it does not matter whether your judgment is right or wrong. Either way you are placing your belief in the unreal. This cannot be avoided in any type of judgment, because it implies the belief that reality is yours to select from.
The sentence that stood out for me in this paragraph says that I believe that reality is mine to choose from. I think that I can decide that one person deserves my love and another doesn’t. I believe that I can decide that one situation in my life is good and another situation is bad. This choosing what is acceptable and rejecting the rest is the basis of all conflict.
In any group of people you will find this arbitrary choosing of sides. Some people will be vehement that abortion is murder and others will jealously guard their right to choose for themselves. To some it will be so self evident that we need to control the number of guns out there that they think the group that feels threatened by new gun laws are insane. Neither side can fathom how the other thinks.
When countries do this, it leads to war. When groups do this it leads to divisiveness, hatred, fear, and attack. As an individual within either group, it leads to a firmer belief in separation. Judging is the way we keep the ego belief in place. It is the way we build the illusion and make it stronger in our mind.
One of the things I never understood was how I was supposed to live if I stopped judging, even if I could stop judging. But now I don’t worry about that. I don’t think about how it should look. I don’t try to stop judging. I just notice when I am judging and I ask that my mind be healed.
When I hold onto a judgment I notice that I feel unhappy, mildly anxious, maybe. There is a part of my mind that knows judgment is out of alignment with my true nature, and I am uncomfortable with this behavior even when it is on an unconscious level. And much of the judgment in my mind happens without me even noticing, but the effect of the judgment is there whether I am aware of where it came from or not.
I’ve been watching some of these issues as they have been discussed on Facebook, and one thing is obvious. The more certain the person is that they are right, a position they came to through judgment, the greater the fear, and fearful people are vicious. I notice that when I take a side I lose my peace, no matter what side I choose and no matter how certain I am that I am right.
I was trying to think of a current issue that I could use as an example of how it feels to have no opinion, one that I have no judgment about, and I couldn’t think of one. I seem to judge them all and to have preferences about them all. Some of them I see from both sides, but I see one side as right and then looking at it differently, I see the other side as right. In no case do I see only innocence because when I choose a side, I choose against the other side. To the ego mind, if one is right then the other is guilty of not being right.
I don’t know how to live in the world without judging, but I do know how to watch my mind for judgments. I know that I want peace more than I want to be right about anything. I know that I can ask that my mind be healed of every divisive belief in it. I know that in any moment, I can ask the Holy Spirit how to see, and I will be given that vision. I can do this instead of deciding (judging) for myself how I should see. I know that this is my part and I can do it without knowing any more than that.