IV. Healing as Release from Fear P 5
5 The value of the Atonement does not lie in the manner in which it is expressed. In fact, if it is used truly, it will inevitably be expressed in whatever way is most helpful to the receiver. This means that a miracle, to attain its full efficacy, must be expressed in a language that the recipient can understand without fear. This does not necessarily mean that this is the highest level of communication of which he is capable. It does mean, however, that it is the highest level of communication of which he is capable now. The whole aim of the miracle is to raise the level of communication, not to lower it by increasing fear.
Not so long ago if I had received guidance to stop taking any of my medication or supplements, I would have seen it as a sacrifice. I would have thought that God was asking me to sacrifice now so that in the future I would be rewarded. I would have done it even if I was afraid, and I would have failed because my fear would have sabotaged it.
Even if I succeeded, I would have taught myself that I was guilty for taking them, that God wants my sacrifice, and that maybe part of the sacrifice is to die because I am not taking the pills. This is not the lesson Jesus wants me to learn and so the guidance did not come at that time. Instead, I was given different guidance that led me to practices which prepared me for my current guidance. Small, easy steps.
Some years ago I prayed that my allergies would be healed. I was allergic to just about everything in my environment and many foods. Some of my allergies were severe. I had allergies every single day, and I took medicine for them twice a day every day. I had to keep looking for new medicines because when you take one constantly, the body gets used to it and it doesn’t work anymore.
When I finally asked for healing I couldn’t imagine how this could happen. I had tried the shots and everything else I had ever heard of, but nothing worked. Nevertheless, I wanted to be healed of this constant misery. It was like having a cold every day of your life. I told Holy Spirit that I didn’t know how it could happen, but I wanted to be healed.
Within a few days, a friend of mine called to say that she found someone who got rid of her allergies. This man was an alternative healer and she said that it was a simple treatment, but it seemed to have worked. I didn’t hesitate. I made an appointment and within two days of the treatment I didn’t have allergies anymore and they have never come back.
Why did I need an agent to heal me? Why not just have the allergies go away? Certainly, this could happen. I think I was not ready for that healing. It’s hard for me to imagine I would have been afraid of the healing, and yet, I think it is true. I think that I was not ready at that time to let go of the idea that I really am not this body. I think at that time I would read the lesson that I am not a body as, I am not just this body. And I don’t think I was ready to know the truth that in no instant does the body actually exist.
I also don’t think I was ready to accept full responsibility for my allergies. I needed them to be caused by something outside of me. I still needed to be victim to things I couldn’t control. Full responsibility was too scary at that time. This would have caused me a lot of fear as well. But evidently, I was ready to accept that I was worthy of healing, and so the Atonement expressed in a way I could accept without fear. This, too, was a small, easy step that prepared me for much more.