III. The Altar of God, P 4
4 Spiritual vision literally cannot see error, and merely looks for Atonement. All solutions the physical eye seeks dissolve. Spiritual vision looks within and recognizes immediately that the altar has been defiled and needs to be repaired and protected. Perfectly aware of the right defense it passes over all others, looking past error to truth. Because of the strength of its vision, it brings the mind into its service. This re-establishes the power of the mind and makes it increasingly unable to tolerate delay, realizing that it only adds unnecessary pain. As a result, the mind becomes increasingly sensitive to what it would once have regarded as very minor intrusions of discomfort.
I can understand spiritual vision because I have experienced it at times. Here is an example. I met someone who had a serious addiction problem that kept her life in disarray. She would pull herself out of it only to fall back in. She stole and lied and used people, me included. I saw what she did and what her story looked like. I saw the need for “repair and protection” but I also saw right past her story, or through her story, to the truth of her. No matter what she did, I had no trouble seeing what was real.
I don’t know why it was that it was effortless for me to see her. If you saw the movie Avatar, you may remember how the indigenous people of the planet would look each other in the eye and say, “I see you.” It was clear they were looking past the outward appearance and connecting soul to soul. It felt to me like they were saying the Divinity in me sees the Divinity in you. This is what it felt like when I was with this woman. “I” had nothing to do with it, and I cannot make myself see in this way. It is the Divinity in me, the true part of me that sees the true part of her.
This does not always happen, at least with such clarity, but it does happen now more than it used to. Perhaps willingness has something to do with it. Maybe the more my altar is repaired and protected, the more I am able to see with spiritual vision. (I use the word “my” with a looser definition than is normal, because I don’t really mean to imply ownership, only awareness. It is the altar from my point of awareness.)
The Holy Spirit does this perfectly and in every case. He is never distracted by our errors. He sees the need for repair and protection and to the degree we are willing to allow it, goes straight to the heart of the matter. You might wonder why anyone would not allow healing. I have said many times I wanted healing but then noticed that I defend my error from that healing.
For instance, this morning I woke up with anxiety thoughts about my new house; thoughts about timing, and cost over runs, that sort of thing. I tried to set them aside to do my morning prayer and they kept popping up like unruly children who can’t stand it when mom doesn’t pay attention to them. I ask for a peaceful mind. I want a peaceful mind. But then I defend the ego mind from peace by giving my attention to the chatter in the thinking mind, by returning to the worry thoughts frequently.
It’s like I order these beautiful pieces of furniture that I know will create a serene setting, but then block the entry with an ugly chaotic jumble of furniture so it is not possible for my delivery to be made. I have to clear a place for the new if I want it. My holy Delivery Man will not throw my stuff out for me. This morning when I saw what was happening, how I could not complete my prayers because of the worrisome chatter, I told Holy Spirit that I need help. I want peace above all else.
I understand the concept of needing to see how much I don’t want peace before I can really have peace, and I see that. I look at it straight in the eye, and realize that my mind is full of ego thoughts because that is what I have wanted. I invite them in and give them my attention and then act like I don’t know where they came from and don’t know why they won’t leave. But I want the peace of God.
This day I will forgive this intrusion onto my peace. I will forgive myself for inviting it. I will remember what I truly want each time I experience something that is not peace. This is the way I do my part to invite the Spirit into my mind. He will do the rest. He will come in and undo what I have done. He pays no attention to my error other than to see that repair is needed. He knows the error is meaningless and hardly worth a second glance.
The error is nothing and has no real effects, and it was only my desire to keep it that made it seem like something. Spirit was only waiting for me to choose forgiveness, and so give Him permission to help. He didn’t try to put my jumbled mess of thoughts in order or make sense of them. He simply looked past them as if they were not there, and without my desire for them holding them in place, they faded away.
Holy Spirit’s healing gaze looks past what is not real, and goes straight to the altar. He makes clear what I have obscured with my desire for something else, and once again my mind is in order and I am at peace. I still have no idea how to make everything happen when it comes to the house, but I am peaceful with not knowing. I am so grateful.