ACIM Daily Lesson 182 I will be still an instant and go home.
I will be still an instant and go home.
Acim Lesson 182
I will be still an instant and go home.
1. This world you seem to live in is not home to you. ²And somewhere in your mind you know that this is true. ³A memory of home keeps haunting you, as if there were a place that called you to return, although you do not recognize the voice, nor what it is the voice reminds you of. ⁴Yet still you feel an alien here, from somewhere all unknown. ⁵Nothing so definite that you could say with certainty you are an exile here. ⁶Just a persistent feeling, sometimes not more than a tiny throb, at other times hardly remembered, actively dismissed, but surely to return to mind again.
Not at Home
2. No one but knows whereof we speak. ²Yet some try to put by their suffering in games they play to occupy their time, and keep their sadness from them. ³Others will deny that they are sad, and do not recognize their tears at all. ⁴Still others will maintain that what we speak of is illusion, not to be considered more than but a dream. ⁵Yet who, in simple honesty, without defensiveness and self-deception, would deny he understands the words we speak?
I have never felt at home here, never felt like I fit in. I had no idea why or what to do about it. And, I didn’t know how to be like everyone else and didn’t feel like I wanted to try. A Course in Miracles helped me to see that there was nothing wrong with me. I was just waking up from the dream.
No One Is at Home
3. We speak today for everyone who walks this world, for he is not at home. ²He goes uncertainly about in endless search, seeking in darkness what he cannot find; not recognizing what it is he seeks. ³A thousand homes he makes, yet none contents his restless mind. ⁴He does not understand he builds in vain. ⁵The home he seeks can not be made by him. ⁶There is no substitute for Heaven. ⁷All he ever made was hell.
No one is at home here. We scurry around like crazy people trying to find a place to fit in or to make a place of our own that makes us feel ok. But all we really accomplish is to rearrange the hell we made and nothing changes. We cannot make Heaven; we can only return to it. I tried to make Heaven three times with different men but all ended in divorce because I didn’t know what was wrong much less how to fix it.
A Child in Me Seeks His Home
4. Perhaps you think it is your childhood home that you would find again. ²The childhood of your body, and its place of shelter, are a memory now so distorted that you merely hold a picture of a past that never happened. ³Yet there is a Child in you Who seeks His Father’s house, and knows that He is alien here. ⁴This childhood is eternal, with an innocence that will endure forever. ⁵Where this Child shall go is holy ground. ⁶It is His Holiness that lights up Heaven, and that brings to earth the pure reflection of the light above, wherein are earth and Heaven joined as one.
I bought a house and call it home, but it is just a place for this body to live for a while. My home cannot be found in an illusion. I seek my Father’s house because that is my true home.
This Child Knows His Father
5. It is this Child in you your Father knows as His Own Son. ²It is this Child Who knows His Father. ³He desires to go home so deeply, so unceasingly, His voice cries unto you to let Him rest a while. ⁴He does not ask for more than just a few instants of respite; just an interval in which He can return to breathe again the holy air that fills His Father’s house. ⁵You are His home as well. ⁶He will return. ⁷But give Him just a little time to be Himself, within the peace that is His home, resting in silence and in peace and love.
Jesus evokes the innocence of a child lost in time but finding its way home. The child he speaks of is the holy Child within each of us and he strongly encourages us to give that child respite from the world today as we sit in silence. I have begun to spend some time each day resting in God, breathing that holy air. It is not a lot but it is a welcome respite from the world and encourages me to focus my mind on Love rather than fear, to choose God rather than ego. I want to go Home.
He Needs My Protection
6. This Child needs your protection. ²He is far from home. ³He is so little that He seems so easily shut out, His tiny voice so readily obscured, His call for help almost unheard amid the grating sounds and harsh and rasping noises of the world. ⁴Yet does He know that in you still abides His sure protection. ⁵You will fail Him not. ⁶He will go home, and you along with Him.
Thank goodness we don’t have to worry about not making it Home. We will get there, but we can get there faster if we listen to the Voice within rather than to the voices of the world. The Child referenced here is the Christ and that still quiet Voice can be drowned out by the ego that we made for that purpose. The world with all its drama and chaos is what keeps our attention and leaves us confused and feeling weak and alone. But we can learn to hear only His Voice even here.
He Is My Defenselessness
7. This Child is your defenselessness; your strength. ²He trusts in you. ³He came because He knew you would not fail. ⁴He whispers of His home unceasingly to you. ⁵For He would bring you back with Him, that He Himself might stay, and not return again where He does not belong, and where He lives an outcast in a world of alien thoughts. ⁶His patience has no limits. ⁷He will wait until you hear His gentle Voice within you, calling you to let Him go in peace, along with you, to where He is at home and you with Him.
8. When you are still an instant, when the world recedes from you, when valueless ideas cease to have value in your restless mind, then will you hear His Voice. ²So poignantly He calls to you that you will not resist Him longer. ³In that instant He will take you to His home, and you will stay with Him in perfect stillness, silent and at peace, beyond all words, untouched by fear and doubt, sublimely certain that you are at home.
Christ Trusts Us
Christ trusts us and will wait patiently for us to hear Him. We will hear Him when we lose interest in the world. I used to be interested in having the perfect relationship, in having more money, in being successful at my job, and all sorts of nonsense that didn’t make me happy or bring me peace. I worked very hard to gain through these fruitless pursuits and it never worked. It did drown out the Voice for a long time, though. But not now. Now I hear His Voice and I heed it and when I slip back into a story listening to the ego again, I don’t stay. As quickly as I can, I return to sanity, to the Christ in me.
Jesus encourages often to be still an instant, to rest in God, to stay with Him in perfect stillness. He needs to repeat this request in many ways because it is in staying busy that we avoid God. Our business is a defense against God. Regina Dawn Akers expressed it in this way.
The ego likes to fill our time. There’s an expression that I have used many times in my life. It’s “kill time,” as in, “How are we going to kill time this weekend?” The thought behind that expression is this:
Having nothing to do is so undesirable that we have to find something, anything to do, in order to avoid simply sitting quietly with ourselves.
Filling time is undeniably an ego preservation strategy.
It’s helpful to begin to notice how we fill time. There are some things that we do that are necessary to this human life. There are other things that we do which are guided by intuition. And then there are the things that we do to “kill time,” to avoid simply sitting quietly with ourselves. Are we ready to be self-honest and discern between these three?
Rest with Him Today
9. Rest with Him frequently today. ²For He was willing to become a little Child that you might learn of Him how strong is he who comes without defenses, offering only love’s messages to those who think he is their enemy. ³He holds the might of Heaven in His hand and calls them friend, and gives His strength to them, that they may see He would be Friend to them. ⁴He asks that they protect Him, for His home is far away, and He will not return to it alone.
Christ is here to show us that it is in our defenselessness that our safety lies and that our true strength is our defenselessness. Christ is here to call us Home. We don’t belong here any more than does He. I practice releasing the false beliefs that brought me to this world and I practice resting in Christ each day so He can remind me of what I gave up when I chose to wander the world a while.
We Are Wanderers
10. Christ is reborn as but a little Child each time a wanderer would leave his home. ²For he must learn that what he would protect is but this Child, Who comes defenseless and Who is protected by defenselessness. ³Go home with Him from time to time today. ⁴You are as much an alien here as He.
This is the paragraph that stood out to me, both because of a personal experience and because it feels like something of a puzzle to me. The personal experience first. I spoke to my mom after she passed and she told me that we have always loved each other and she inferred that we have spent other lifetimes together. She said that she was just going to wait for me because I am the one who likes to wander. I took that to mean I am the one who enjoys these life experiences. Reading this paragraph seemed to confirm that is what she meant by wandering.
A Real Surprise
It came as a real surprise to me when she said this. I thought the reason I wanted so desperately to awaken is because I hated it here, but obviously, that is not the case. No one forced me into a life, I came willingly because I wanted the experience. How strange. I no longer hate my life here, this conversation with my mom changed all that.
But I understand now why I did hate it and wanted out of it. It was because I believed my thoughts and tried to live by them. And I understand why Jesus is telling me to give myself a break from them, to settle into the silence and get some relief from this constant fear-mongering chatter in my mind. He tells me this will bring me home for a while, will put me in touch with my innocence. Who can be at peace while she gives her attention to endless thoughts of defense? Who can feel innocent in this environment?
Learning to Be in the World but Not of It
But I can learn to be in the world but not of it. As I forgive and forgive and forgive, my mind clears and I begin to remember who I am. I lose interest in the ego and what it has to say and that voice becomes farther away. As this happens, I am experiencing the real world. Yes, it is still an illusion but it is a healed illusion so it is as close to reality as I can experience while still part of the illusion. I am not experiencing the world as healed yet, but I am much closer now. There is much more peace and happiness regardless of what is going on in the world around me. I never doubt that this is possible because I am watching it happen. A Course in Miracles is no longer just a study guide, it has led me to an experience.
He Rules the Universe
11. Take time today to lay aside your shield which profits nothing, and lay down the spear and sword you raised against an enemy without existence. ²Christ has called you friend and brother. ³He has even come to ask your help in letting Him go home today, completed and completely. ⁴He has come as does a little child, who must beseech his father for protection and for love. ⁵He rules the universe, and yet He asks unceasingly that you return with Him, and take illusions as your gods no more.
I will not resist Christ anymore. I will step aside from the ego and accept His help and together we will return to our Home. The last sentence is powerful. I will do this because in actuality there is no separation between what seems to be me now and the Christ. We are one and the same. He only seems to be different from me when I am living as if I am an ego. ⁵He rules the universe, and yet He asks unceasingly that you return with Him, and take illusions as your gods no more. Oh, my goodness!
Let Us Be at Peace Awhile
12. You have not lost your innocence. ²It is for this you yearn. ³This is your heart’s desire. ⁴This is the voice you hear, and this the call which cannot be denied. ⁵The holy Child remains with you. ⁶His home is yours. ⁷Today He gives you His defenselessness, and you accept it in exchange for all the toys of battle you have made. ⁸And now the way is open, and the journey has an end in sight at last. ⁹Be still an instant and go home with Him, and be at peace a while.
So little is asked of me. I am asked to stop doing things that hurt me and to stop resisting Love. And,I am asked to look with the Holy Spirit at my thoughts so that He can heal my mind for me. I am asked to spend some time each day in peace with the Christ so that I can be relieved of the suffering I have caused myself if only for a little while. These are things I can do and will continue do with renewed dedication.
Here is a message I received from Holy Spirit when I was struggling with a problem.
INSIGHTS FROM HOLY SPIRIT: Myron, your mind is confused at times because you are standing between truth and illusions, and sometimes your foot comes down in one and sometimes the other. It is helpful that you recognize this as it happens. When you feel an overwhelming need to ask Me to join you in your dreams of pain, notice what you are doing. Rest in Me. It is not your dream that needs correction, Myron, it is your mind that needs my help. The world does not cause you pain or take your peace away; it is your thoughts that do this.
While it is true that you still experience yourself as being in the dream, this is seldom completely true anymore. Even in your most confused moments you are aware on a deeper level of what is happening. As you continue to be vigilant for Me rather than the ego, you will more and more often experience yourself as being the watcher rather than the participant. Again, I encourage you to rest in Me often today. Do not allow yourself to fall into the trap of trying to solve your problems with the thinking mind. Thinking is a way of keeping your problems. Your problems are a way of staying in the world. I am the way out of this vicious cycle.
To enjoy the Pathways of Light Insights on ACIM Lesson 182 click here.
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