ACIM Chapter 9. V. The Unhealed Healer P 1, 2

ACIM Chapter 9. V. The Unhealed Healer P 1, 2

V. The Unhealed Healer

1 The ego’s plan for forgiveness is far more widely used than God’s. This is because it is undertaken by unhealed healers, and is therefore of the ego. Let us consider the unhealed healer more carefully now. By definition, he is trying to give what he has not received. If an unhealed healer is a theologian, for example, he may begin with the premise, “I am a miserable sinner, and so are you.” If he is a psychotherapist, he is more likely to start with the equally incredible belief that attack is real for both himself and the patient, but that it does not matter for either of them.

When I was in college, I had a breakdown, which I think of as so much ego pain and suffering that I broke under it. I went for therapy, and in the process, the therapist helped me to see that all my problems were my mom’s fault. My ego self was enormously relieved. Here I thought I was the one who was responsible and I had no way of changing it, so I was doomed.

Then this therapist helped me to see that, yes, I was screwed up and had made some terrible mistakes, but then she showed me how my mother’s behavior caused it. The relief I felt was very temporary because nothing was solved. She encouraged me to shift the blame so that I didn’t feel quite so guilty, or at least that I was not born flawed. However, now the problem is real and there is no solution.

Though I felt temporary relief, I had no solution.

I got through the rough spot and went on thinking I was damaged but surviving, taking solace in that I was able to cope and even improve my ego. Of course, at the time, I didn’t know that there was anything but the ego. In perfect timing, I found A Course in Miracles, and I learned about the ego and that I am not that.

I learned about forgiveness, and through forgiving myself, I was able to forgive my mother for what she had not done. It is funny when I think about it now, but not so much while it was happening. From my present perspective, I can see that the therapist was an unhealed healer, doing the best she could under those circumstances. I doubt I could have heard anything else at that time in my life anyway, so she was the perfect solution for me. She relieved the pressure long enough for me to survive the pain and reach a level of spiritual maturity that made real healing possible.

There is a better way to help.

If a friend or a student comes to me with a problem, and I try to help them find a solution within the story, I am making the same mistake. I am making the problem real and then trying to help them change it so it is not so painful. For instance, a friend had a relationship problem and wanted me to look at it with her.

I did so, and I could see that some basic communication skills would help solve this problem. I shared that information with her, but if that were all I had done, I would have been helpful only in the short term. Instead, I helped her see her projections. We talked about withdrawing those projections.

 She began to see how allowing her mind to be healed in this way, she could perceive the situation differently. She saw that it was not a real problem but simply a misperception. I did not add to her fear that the problem was real but helped her see it was just an error in thinking that was easily solved.

Before I could help anyone else, I had to help myself.

There was a time I could not have done this because I had unhealed relationship issues of my own. When a friend asked me to help her with her relationship problem, I could see myself getting sucked into the story because it was too similar to the story I had going. I believed her problem was real because I believed my problem was real.

As a result, I could not offer her help because my mind was clogged with unhealed beliefs. And so I could not receive guidance about what to say. I suggested someone else who could help her. I then asked the Holy Spirit for help in healing my mind of these misperceptions so that I could be helpful in the future, and with some work, this was done. That way, when someone else came to me, I was a healed healer and could be truly helpful.

These years later, I have discovered that each person who comes to me does so because I have what is needed to be helpful. Even when my friend wanted help that I was not able to give, I gave her the name of someone who could help. From that suggestion, a lifetime relationship was established between the two. And I also learned from that encounter that I needed more healing so that I could be a healed healer and so I did that. My friend and I helped each other and that is the way it works.

V. The Unhealed Healer P 2

2 I have repeatedly said that beliefs of the ego cannot be shared, and this is why they are unreal. How, then, can “uncovering” them make them real? Every healer who searches fantasies for truth must be unhealed, because he does not know where to look for truth, and therefore does not have the answer to the problem of healing.

All my beliefs in guilt, fear, and suffering are illusions. None of these are in God, so they do not exist except in my imagination. The stories that represent these beliefs are no more real than the beliefs. So, what is the point of digging around in the story to find the “cause” of my unhappiness?

A good therapist can help me do this, but there would be no point. Finding the origin of the story within the story is a monumental waste of time. Only if my unhappiness was the result of the story would that be the solution. What I know is that the story is the result of the thought, not the other way around. Therefore, the solution is to accept correction for the thought. From a healed mind comes a healed world.

I cannot find the truth in my stories. They are the out-picturing of thoughts in the mind. If the picture is one of chaos, then it is not the story that caused the chaos but the thoughts that are represented in the image. It is a simple thing to know if my mind has been making images based on beliefs that are not true. Am I at peace? If not, then I need to accept the Atonement and allow the mind to be healed. “My thoughts are images I have made.”

Jesus has asked us not to make the ego real.

It might seem at first that uncovering them is making it real. This is why he addresses that mistaken thought. Ego beliefs cannot be shared, so they cannot be real. Recognizing you have them doesn’t change that. They are still unreal. But recognizing you have them with a desire to let them go does heal the mind.

Here is an example: I used to have a lot of fear about money. Many times in my life, I would be without a source of income or not have enough income to meet my financial obligations. Sometimes, though, I would have more than I needed. But my fear of not enough was always there, whether I had no money or plenty of money. It would seem reasonable to have that fear when you just look at the story. After all, both appeared to be possible.

So, for a long time, I focused on doing what I needed to do to guarantee that there would always be enough money. I tried saving and I wasn’t very good at that. So, I just worked harder to make more money. No matter how much money I made, I was still anxious about it. After all, I could lose my job or get too sick to work. Nothing I could think of would guarantee my continued income. There were too many things over which I had no control.

But I did have A Course in Miracles.

So, I stopped looking at the story to find the solution. Instead, I looked at it only to find the cause. I uncovered a deeply held belief in lack and loss. Changing the story would never fix the problem as long as that belief remained in place. I remember reading about a number of people who had won the lottery. They wound up losing all they had won and were worse off than before. That was what woke me up to the belief in lack and loss.

I could see that hiding from myself the belief in lack and loss made it real to me. After all, if I had to hide from my fear, the cause must be a real threat. In this way, I put cause and effect in the right order. That I sometimes had enough and sometimes didn’t wasn’t the cause of my fear about money. It was the belief in lack that caused the appearance of lack.

What changed things was my willingness to look at the situation in the world, recognize untrue beliefs, and bring them into the light for healing. Now, while I don’t have much money, I always have what I need when needed. And there is no longer fear because I saw the problem in the world and healed the mind that caused the problem.

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