ACIM Chapter 9. IV. The Holy Spirit’s Plan of Forgiveness P 7, 8

ACIM Chapter 9. IV. The Holy Spirit’s Plan of Forgiveness P 7, 8

IV. The Holy Spirit’s Plan of Forgiveness, P 7

7 The confusion of functions is so typical of the ego that you should be quite familiar with it by now. The ego believes that all functions belong to it, even though it has no idea what they are. This is more than mere confusion. It is a particularly dangerous combination of grandiosity and confusion that makes the ego likely to attack anyone and anything for no reason at all. This is exactly what the ego does. It is unpredictable in its responses, because it has no idea of what it perceives.

Oh, my goodness! Do I ever know this is true! The ego thinks its job is to forgive, and all it does is hide hate behind “kind” words and create feelings of resentment at the sacrifice made. It is no kind of forgiveness, really, and what winds up happening is that the anger buried behind the so-called forgiveness rears its ugly head again and catches me by surprise. I wind up saying something I regret, and the process starts all over. I would laugh at the foolishness of ego forgiveness, but sometimes, the result is not very funny.

Generally, I catch this kind of thing quickly because I have learned to recognize when I have allowed the ego to take on a function that belongs to the Holy Spirit. Sometimes, though, I fall prey to the ego desire to take all functions for itself. I think that when this happens, it is because I don’t really want to forgive.

Recently, I talked about an ongoing forgiveness lesson with someone.

This happened when I was still working. It was ongoing because I continued to allow the ego to be in charge of the process. This will always fail because the ego doesn’t know anything about forgiveness. Looking at the situation through the ego, I saw the other person as the other person. ~smile~ I couldn’t see our unity because the ego doesn’t accept unity as a possibility.

Seeing him as separate from me, I saw our interests as separate. From that point of view, it became a matter of whose interests would be served. Thus, there had to be a winner and a loser, and I sure didn’t want to be the loser. The ego then focused on how to win and still look spiritual. See how confused and hopeless is the ego version of forgiveness? Every time I let the ego be in charge of forgiveness with this person, I wound up with another grievance.

The way it played out was that I would say something I immediately regretted and then sit there wondering where those words came from. Then, I would have to justify my failure to forgive, and so I would think of all the ways he provoked me. Next, I would find myself talking to my boss about how hard it is to work with this man, hoping to get her on my team to help support my weak case for him being the cause of my unhappiness.

Immediately, I would feel regretful.

Of course, I did. The sane part of my mind would recognize what I was doing. I didn’t want to teach hate or unforgiveness, so I would sit in my office and ask for help. I would ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind, and though I meant I wanted to be free of this conflict, I still didn’t want to let him off the hook. This is more evidence of ego arrogance and confusion. What kind of forgiveness is that?

I don’t know how often I had to go back to my boss and try to undo the harm I had done. I would talk to her about my desire to let this go and my desire to withdraw my projections and accept responsibility for my own feelings.  If I could not show her perfect forgiveness, at least I could share my process as I moved in that direction. Having asked for healing once again and having done my penance by admitting my culpability, I would think it was finally done. Then it would happen again, and I would realize that while I was truly regretful for my ego-driven behavior, my apology was from my spiritual ego, not from a place of true forgiveness.

Finally gave the function of healing to the Holy Spirit.

I know I did because the animosity was gone. I felt nothing but goodwill and kindness toward this man. Now, I can’t even really remember the feeling of being at odds with him. I remember the circumstances and the facts of the story, but I can’t go there anymore. This is how the Holy Spirit functions.

Forgiveness through the Holy Spirit removes all offending thoughts from the mind. With the thoughts gone, the feelings of anger and resentment are gone as well, as if they had never existed. True forgiveness leaves me wondering what I thought I had to forgive. The ego will never accomplish this for me because it doesn’t know what true forgiveness is or how to achieve it.

IV. The Holy Spirit’s Plan of Forgiveness, P 8

8 If you have no idea what is happening, how appropriately can you expect to react? You might ask yourself, regardless of how you may account for the reaction, whether its unpredictability places the ego in a sound position as your guide. Let me repeat that the ego’s qualifications as a guide are singularly unfortunate, and that it is a remarkably poor choice as a teacher of salvation. Anyone who elects a totally insane guide must be totally insane himself. Nor is it true that you do not realize the guide is insane. You realize it because I realize it, and you have judged it by the same standard I have.

I am convinced that the ego is a poor guide, and I have learned to be vigilant for the ego’s attempts to be the guide. I have learned to discern the difference between the ego’s guidance and the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Yes, I still hear the ego, and I still follow the ego sometimes, but I regret it when I do, and I always change my mind. It was a bit of a surprise, however, when I read the last two sentences. Have I always realized the ego was insane? I thought I just learned that. I guess I was hiding that from myself because I wanted to keep playing its game.

Actually, the only reason I ever listen to the ego, even for a brief time, is that I am being offered some bit of the game that still amuses me or that still holds some value for me. Here is something I noticed. The more I release the idea of guilt, the less interest I have in the ego thought system. What seems to follow naturally is that fear then begins to fall away.

Let’s compare the two choices. 

On the one hand, I can choose the Holy Spirit as my guide. I will live a happier life, free of regrets and disappointments. I will be peaceful and filled with joy regardless of what seems to be happening in the story. With the Holy Spirit as my guide, guilt will cease to attract me, and fear will fall away. I will respond appropriately, teaching love and helping my brother to wake up. Or at least certainly not holding him back.

Or I can select ego as my guide and keep the status quo. I can go on pretending to be the master of my miserable little universe. I can continue making images that I pretend are creations, born of the twisted desires of an insane mind and suffering the consequences. And I can pretend I am the victim, and this was done to me, thus guaranteeing I will not be free of suffering.

Hmm. Join God in unending, blissful creation, or join ego in pain, suffering, and death. Which one will I choose today?

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