ACIM Chapter 9. II. The Answer to Prayer P 9, 10

ACIM Chapter 9. II. The Answer to Prayer P 9, 10

II. The Answer to Prayer, P 9

9 To disbelieve is to side against, or to attack. To believe is to accept, and to side with. To believe is not to be credulous, but to accept and appreciate. What you do not believe you do not appreciate, and you cannot be grateful for what you do not value. There is a price you will pay for judgment, because judgment is the setting of a price. And as you set it you will pay it.

Jesus says that to disbelieve is to side against or to attack. I had never thought of it that way, and I also never thought of it as a judgment, but of course, it is. Instead, I thought that simply disbelieving someone was neutral unless I got upset about it or said something to him. Suddenly, his words are starting to unfold in my mind, and I see how this works.

I have a relative whose political beliefs are opposite of mine. I am not very political, but sometimes the politics of the issues touch on my philosophy of life. He is very vocal and very harsh in his judgments of people who he sees as different from him. I have often thought he was wrong in his opinion and hurtful in the way he expressed it. However, I keep my opinions to myself, and I even act as a mediator when he upsets someone else. His words do not change the fact that he is my nephew, and I don’t love him less.

In this particular case, I thought I was on the side of the angels.

My opinions were more loving than his. I didn’t hold his errors against him. I even tried to keep the peace in the family by smoothing things over on his behalf. And as I write this, I have to laugh at myself. The spiritual ego was all over this situation.

I disbelieve my nephew and judge him to be wrong. This means I think he is guilty of being wrong. In my mind, if nowhere else (and in my mind is the only place there is, so it definitely counts), I attack him. I have been upset with him for his judgments and attacks, and as it turns out, I am judging, thus attacking. Judgment has a price, and I pay that price.

If I judge anyone else, I will also judge myself, and so I will have no peace. If I believe in judgment, I will teach judgment, and so I am no longer a teacher of God but a teacher of the ego. Judgment is an attack and a foolish one, being based on perception, which is notoriously unsound. Ultimately, I cannot enter God’s presence if I attack his Son.

So, what do I do about this? How can I not have an opinion? Can I say I believe in some of his most obnoxious statements? Jesus says that to believe is not to be credulous but to accept and appreciate. I don’t need to believe the unkind things he claims to believe but to accept and appreciate him in spite of his ego ranting. What I believe and accept is what he truly is, and he is not his ego with its fearful attacks on everyone.

This changed my mind.

As soon as I wrote these words, I knew I wanted to see him as the Holy Spirit sees him. All desire to attack and judge fell away. I see the ego as it is expressed through him, and I know that this does not change his own perfect self in any way. He is playing the part of the self that he is to play, but it is all play. He is innocent, as am I.

The healing of my mind came through my desire to be healed. I did not get there by seeing the logic in this. Those are the words I used to describe the change, but they did not promote the change. The Holy Spirit made the change of mind for me. I did my part as I became willing to see differently.

The metamorphosis occurred through the Holy Spirit’s intervention. Then, I was given words that would help me understand and describe the change. It is important that I realize I did not heal my own mind, or I will start trying to use my ego to do this. Healing the mind is the function of the Holy Spirit, and He will do it to the degree I allow Him to do so.

II. The Answer to Prayer, P 10

10 If paying is equated with getting, you will set the price low but demand a high return. You will have forgotten, however, that to price is to value, so that your return is in proportion to your judgment of worth. If paying is associated with giving it cannot be perceived as loss, and the reciprocal relationship of giving and receiving will be recognized. The price will then be set high, because of the value of the return. The price for getting is to lose sight of value, making it inevitable that you will not value what you receive. Valuing it little, you will not appreciate it and you will not want it.

When I first wrote about this paragraph, I had trouble understanding it and asked Jesus for help. He showed me how it works with my relationship with my children. At that time, the relationship was unhealed, and this exercise helped to correct that, as it made the problem clearer and the solution obvious. I am very grateful. I am leaving what I wrote before to illustrate how I saw the situation and how I turned it around.

This paragraph feels confusing to me, and I keep getting up to do other things. This is the fourth time I have sat down to consider it again. I am asking Jesus to help me understand this and to tell me how he wants me to use it.

“If paying is equated with getting, you will set the price low but demand a high return.”

Here is an example. I want my children to want to be with me or at least to think of me and love me. That is the high return I want. What am I willing to pay for this? I notice that I want proof of their affection, but I am not willing to give a lot of time to that. Bcause I put a premium on my time, I am jealous of it, sharing it in small bits.

I am willing to give some of my time, but I am unwilling to give it fully and without demands of any kind. To be honest, what I want is for them all to become interested in what I am interested in so that I can feel better about spending actual time with them. On the other hand, I am not willing to share their lives where they do not intersect with mine.

It seems that I am saying that I am not willing to become interested in what they are interested in so that our time together will be a joy for them. Wow. So, I will afford some small measure of respect for their interests, and in return, they must prove their love by immersing themselves in what matters to me. This is an example of giving to get, where I set a low price but expect a high return. Gosh, do you think they are lining up for this opportunity?

“You will have forgotten, however, that to price is to value, so that your return is in proportion to your judgment of worth.”

Because I am willing to give only a little and to respect only somewhat, I have set a low value. Therefore, I will judge my return as being of little value. Now I can see that this is often what happens.

I was thinking that my daughter hasn’t spent much time with me lately, in person or by phone. I feel sad when that happens and doubt her love and care for me. This morning, I was sorting through some papers in preparation for doing my taxes. I found a piece of paper with a message from this daughter in which she expressed her deep and abiding love for me in the most beautiful way.

There was no doubting her sincerity, but because I put a low price and high demand on our relationship, I failed to see what was right there in front of me. I saw her behavior in light of the value of my price, and I missed its true value.

“If paying is associated with giving, it cannot be perceived as loss, and the reciprocal relationship of giving and receiving will be recognized.”

I don’t always give to get. Sometimes, even often, I associate paying with giving. I often give without expectations or limits of any kind.

Generally, I accept my children’s behavior without judging it. They are not interested in spirituality and specifically not interested in A Course in Miracles. I don’t judge that. I don’t think of them as less than me or lower on some imagined scale. Nor do I love them less because we are on different paths. I give them my love and acceptance without regard to what I might get from it. And thus, “The price will then be set high, because of the value of the return.”

“The price for getting is to lose sight of value, making it inevitable that you will not value what you receive. Valuing it little, you will not appreciate it, and you will not want it.”

There are parts of my relationship with my children that are still tainted with specialness. These are the parts that I give to get, such as needing to receive proof of love and respect. And even when I get what I want, I doubt it and fail to appreciate it.

But the love, the real love I feel for my children is steadfast. I require nothing from them, and I give as fully and completely as I know how. I receive great joy and satisfaction when I love in this honest and open way. In this kind of giving, the value is protected because I preserve the reciprocal nature of giving and receiving.

Jesus, for some reason, this paragraph felt difficult to me, and I thank you for helping me read it. I also thank you for helping me see the contrast in how I view my relationship with my kids and how different the two experiences are. I truly want to allow the healing of my mind to be complete so that I always feel the expansive nature of real love. This neediness I sometimes feel is not love and feels nothing like love. I gladly ask for and accept correction when I choose to give to get and when I think I need to get. Please help me as I seek to remember what I am.

I tell you, I am so grateful to have healed my relationship with my children, to be done with all that neediness. The relationships are so much better now for all of us.

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