ACIM Chapter 9. I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 3, 4

ACIM Chapter 9. I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 3, 4

I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 3

3 If you do not know what your reality is, why would you be so sure that it is fearful? The association of truth and fear, which would be highly artificial at most, is particularly inappropriate in the minds of those who do not know what truth is. All this could mean is that you are arbitrarily associating something beyond your awareness with something you do not want. It is evident, then, that you are judging something of which you are totally unaware. You have set up this strange situation so that it is impossible to escape from it without a Guide Who does know what your reality is. The purpose of this Guide is merely to remind you of what you want. He is not attempting to force an alien will upon you. He is merely making every possible effort, within the limits you impose on Him, to re-establish your own will in your awareness.

I would like to argue that I am ready for reality.

I am ready to know the truth of what I am and to accept my own will in my awareness, but it seems that I am not. Sometimes, I still cling to the ego will as if my own holy will were something to be avoided, to fear, and to defend myself against. However, I can say this: I am no longer entirely opposed to accepting reality. In fact, I am far more open to the truth than I ever have been.

It seems that this is all that the Holy Spirit needs from me. He simply needs me to allow Him to reestablish my own will in my awareness. I say this is what I want, but then I stop Him. My reality is that I am one with all my brothers, but when I get too close to that memory, I choose to imagine a brother is my enemy.

I make an image of this desire and insert it into the life of Myron. Suddenly, there is a story of betrayal, and I am all into that story, hiding from myself that I chose it and put it there. Instead, I get all confused and spend time trying to see it differently, feeling victimized because it all seems so unfair, feeling discouraged because it all seems so hard.

So, how is this better than it ever was before?

Now I know what I am doing. I might spend some time in confusion because I am afraid to admit my culpability or because I simply don’t want to admit it, but I know. I know it in my heart of hearts. And pretty quickly, I know it in my aware mind. I no longer fight this. Rather, I relax into it, and it seems I am not judging it anymore either. Instead, I simply allow myself to be aware of it and remember that I don’t value the “right” to be a weak and miserable victim anymore.

It seems I really am coming to my senses. I am deciding for God more and more often. As I make this choice consistently, I become comfortable with it and my resistance is falling away. Something I have noticed is that I used to be totally focused on vigilantly watching my mind, learning to discern the ego thoughts from my true thoughts.

I used to be very focused on developing my will to see differently and allowing the Holy Spirit access to my mind. Now, I don’t feel that hypervigilance in the same way. This is because I know that I want to wake up. There is no way I could back out of this now. I could never go back to ignorance. I could never want to. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for your infinite patience and for continuing to remind me of my true will.

I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 4

4 You have imprisoned your will beyond your own awareness, where it remains, but cannot help you. When I said that the Holy Spirit’s function is to sort out the true from the false in your mind, I meant that He has the power to look into what you have hidden and recognize the Will of God there. His recognition of this Will can make it real to you because He is in your mind, and therefore He is your reality. If, then, His perception of your mind brings its reality to you, He is helping you to remember what you are. The only source of fear in this process is what you think you will lose. Yet it is only what the Holy Spirit sees that you can possibly have.

Oh my! Do you see what Jesus is saying here?

In my mind is the truth, my true will, the Will of God. As I am willing to accept His help, the Holy Spirit looks with me, and I see it, too. Because the Holy Spirit is in my mind, I become aware of my true will which is the Will of God. The only thing standing between my awareness of the truth and the separated will of ego is the fear that knowing my Self is a loss.

When I think of salvation in these terms, it all seems so simple and so accessible. I hear the Voice of God very clearly, and I listen to it every day. I am convinced that the Holy Spirit is in my mind. Now, Jesus is telling me that all He has to do to bring me to full awareness is to look into what I have hidden and recognize the Will of God there. It feels so close and so possible when I think of this. I’ve cried three times just writing this.

So, this is what has been happening in my practice!

I look at the thoughts and feelings that seem to make up my life, and I invite the Holy Spirit to look with me. The Holy Spirit finds the Will of God there and shows It to me. I feel like a blind woman whose sight is beginning to return or maybe like an insane person who is coming out of her psychosis.

For a long time, I have been doing exactly what I need to be doing. And for much of that time, I never gave thought to the miracle that was occurring. It was just a practice, and yes, it changed everything, so it was the best practice in the world. However, I never realized the true significance of that practice. It just seemed too simple to be that important.

When I began to realize this, the immediate ego reaction was to find someone to make guilty. As the rush of discovery began to fade, the ego mind turned the guilt toward me. It starts to encourage doubt. The ego thoughts were saying that if it were really this easy, I would already be awake. Or I must not be worthy, or I would already be awake. And I’m guilty of being unworthy. I was unwilling to buy into its party line, so it agreed that this could be done, and someday, if I kept at it, I would wake up. Same old, same old.

I bought into the “someday it would work” idea.

In fact, clung to it for many years. Now, though, it is a different story. I am so on fire with this clearer understanding that I am changing daily! “Look into my mind, Holy Spirit; look with me at the ego beliefs there. Show me the Will of God that is also my will.” What have I got to lose? Life as I know it? That is a loss I am willing to incur if it is a loss at all.

Here are the objections my ego self had. I was afraid I would give up reading my novels and never find out what happens next in whatever TV show I was invested in. I was afraid I would never again have a normal relationship with my kids because there would be no specialness in it. They wouldn’t feel loved by me.

What if my whole life changed, and I felt lost and didn’t know my place in the world? I didn’t know what to expect, and I was afraid when I didn’t know, didn’t understand, and felt I had no control. My head would begin to hurt when I thought about this. Okay, here is the big reveal. None of these fears were true. Everything just started to get better! Everything is now so much easier, and life flows. I look forward to what today brings.

Join with others in practicing 12 Steps and ACIM. This link will take you to Pathways of Light.