ACIM Chapter 7. X. The Confusion of Pain and Joy, P 7,8. Even the relinquishment of your false decision-making prerogative, which the ego guards so jealously, is not accomplished by your wish.
ACIM Chapter 7. X. The Confusion of Pain and Joy, P 7,8
X. The Confusion of Pain and Joy, P 7
7 Even the relinquishment of your false decision-making prerogative, which the ego guards so jealously, is not accomplished by your wish. It was accomplished for you by the Will of God, Who has not left you comfortless. His Voice will teach you how to distinguish between pain and joy, and will lead you out of the confusion you have made. There is no confusion in the mind of a Son of God, whose will must be the Will of the Father, because the Father’s Will is His Son.
Repeatedly, we are being told that we did not create ourselves and do not have the power to do so. In this way only, we are different from God. Because we did not create ourselves, we cannot be anything that is not God. There is a clear difference between making and creating and a clear difference between what is real and what is believed.
I seem to suffer from the confusion in my mind. This confusion is something I made, and because I made it, I believe it. Because I believe it, it is true for me. But it is not truth. There is no confusion in the mind of God’s Son because there is no confusion in God. I can pretend to be confused and convince myself that I am, but I cannot be confused because there is no confusion in the mind of a Son of God.
The first time I read the first two sentences of this paragraph I was not happy.
I felt tremendous resistance to the idea that my decision-making prerogative is not accomplished by my wish. I felt frightened, actually, like the big bad god was only playing with me, pretending to let me decide on things, but was going to crush me under his will when he got bored with me.
Through the slow but steady healing of my mind, I understand enough now to know that there is no separation between the Son and the Father. We share the same Will. The only will that is endangered is the ego will, which is not actually a will but a wish and not something I want to preserve. The ego is screaming and jumping up and down at the thought that I might not be interested in playing its game of deciding which illusion I like best. But interestingly enough, I can barely hear its antics.
8 X. The Confusion of Pain and Joy, P 8
8 Miracles are in accord with the Will of God, Whose Will you do not know because you are confused about what you will. This means that you are confused about what you are. If you are God’s Will and do not accept His Will, you are denying joy. The miracle is therefore a lesson in what joy is. Being a lesson in sharing it is a lesson in love, which is joy. Every miracle is thus a lesson in truth, and by offering truth you are learning the difference between pain and joy.
Jesus says that I am confused about what I am, and if I think my will is different than the Will of God, then I am indeed confused. Since I am literally the Will of God, and I think I have a different will, I am confused about what I am. God’s Will is joy, love, and peace. Because I think I can have a will that is different from God, I deny myself joy, love, and peace.
As I allow my mind to be healed, the truth returns to me. This is a miracle. Actually, this is THE miracle. As I am healed and I begin to remember what I am, I naturally share what I know, and this sharing is love, and love is joy. Through the miracle of a healed mind, the difference between pain and joy, which was once obscure to me, now becomes clear.
I used to think that pleasure was deciding for myself what I am.
I used to think pleasure was successfully defending my right to be different from my brothers and from God. Then, of course, I had to defend against them so that I could maintain this separate will. Winning would give me a surge of adrenaline, which I mistook for pleasure. It also left me feeling uneasy because someone had to lose in order for me to win. I began to realize that it wasn’t pleasure after all, and when the adrenaline receded, all I had left was my fear and guilt.
Now, I am certain of what I am not. I am not a body in time and space. I am not separate from God and my brothers. Sometimes, I still get momentarily confused and think that it makes me happy to decide on a personal will. But I soon remembered that this couldn’t be right. I cannot overcome what I am, which is the Will of God.
No matter how sick or tired I make the body, I have proved nothing. I am not the body. I am the Son of God, His holy Will. No matter how impoverished I seem to be, I change nothing because I was created with everything. I cannot overcome God’s Will that I be everything. Winning will never bring me joy; hurting another will hurt me, and looking outside my mind for happiness is a fool’s game.
Through the miracle, I have discovered that I don’t want to overcome God’s Will.
I was created in love, truth, and joy, and that is all I am. As I accept the miracle of a healed mind. I accept that I am as I was created, and I rejoice in that truth! I am spirit and only spirit. If I become confused today, I ask for the Atonement. I want to remember only what is true.
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