ACIM Chapter 5. V. The Ego’s Use of Guilt P 7, 8

ACIM 5. V. The Ego’s Use of Guilt P 7, 8. Irrational thought is disordered thought.

V. The Ego’s Use of Guilt, P 7

⁷ Irrational thought is disordered thought. God Himself orders your thought because your thought was created by Him. Guilt feelings are always a sign that you do not know this. They also show that you believe you can think apart from God, and want to. Every disordered thought is attended by guilt at its inception, and maintained by guilt in its continuance. Guilt is inescapable by those who believe they order their own thoughts, and must therefore obey their dictates. This makes them feel responsible for their errors without recognizing that, by accepting this responsibility, they are reacting irresponsibly. If the sole responsibility of the miracle worker is to accept the Atonement for himself, and I assure you that it is, then the responsibility for what is atoned for cannot be yours. The dilemma cannot be resolved except by accepting the solution of undoing. You would be responsible for the effects of all your wrong thinking if it could not be undone. The purpose of the Atonement is to save the past in purified form only. If you accept the remedy for disordered thought, a remedy whose efficacy is beyond doubt, how can its symptoms remain?  

Our ego thoughts are our attempt to think apart from God. When we think apart from God, we feel guilty for doing so. We then believe we are responsible for them and responsible for their effects. The guilt is maintained as we continue to believe our thoughts. The only solution is to undo them, not by changing them ourselves. Rather, they are undone for us as we accept the Atonement for ourselves. Guilt is inescapable by those who believe they order their own thoughts, and must therefore obey their dictates.

Understanding Responsibility

I often say that I accept 100% responsibility for the world I see. By that, I mean that no one or nothing else is the reason the world appears to me as it does. I am not sick because of germs, and I am not broke because I don’t make enough money. My thoughts alone bring the appearance of lack and sickness into the world.  

Here, Jesus is talking about responsibility of a different order. Now that I accept responsibility for the world I made, I must accept that I cannot undo it on my own. That is not my responsibility. I accept that I am not a victim of the world, that my thoughts made what I see, then I decide I don’t want this anymore, and I ask for the Atonement for it.  

That is the way it is intended for me to act on my error. Notice the error and ask for and accept the Atonement, that and nothing more. However, sometimes, I fall back into the old ego habit of trying to correct my error by re-ordering my thoughts. I try to think of different ways to see it.  

Atonement As True Correction

For instance, if I think that I am angry with a friend and realize that my anger is causing me to be unhappy, the solution would be to ask for the Atonement for the angry thoughts. I would ask the Holy Spirit to correct my perceptions. The error would be to try to correct my own perception by trying to think different thoughts about the friend, or to try to force the thoughts out of my mind, or to think of excuses for the friend, reasons he is such a jerk.  

All of the solutions that involve correcting my own perception will just lead me deeper into guilt because I am using the ego mind to find the solution. The ego mind wants to be the thinker of the thoughts, but my thought was created by God. Listening to and believing in the thoughts I think with ego are guilt-inducing because they seem to be in opposition to God.  

The Atonement, on the other hand, is a true solution. When I ask for and then accept the Atonement in any situation, the mind is ordered. It is returned to its original state, which was created by God. Therefore there is no guilt. Without guilt, I am at peace and I am happy. Peace and happiness are how I know I am listening to the Voice for God. Feelings of guilt and unhappiness are how I know I am listening to and believing the ego.  

8 V. The Ego’s Use of Guilt, P 8

⁸ The continuing decision to remain separated is the only possible reason for continuing guilt feelings. We have said this before, but did not emphasize the destructive results of the decision. Any decision of the mind will affect both behavior and experience. What you want you expect. This is not delusional. Your mind does make your future, and it will turn it back to full creation at any minute if it accepts the Atonement first. It will also return to full creation the instant it has done so. Having given up its disordered thought, the proper ordering of thought becomes quite apparent.  

I have accepted the Atonement for this thing or that thought but have not accepted it fully. It seems I am trying it out. I have a thought that brings confusion and pain, and I know this can’t be right, so I ask for the Atonement in this situation. I accept it, and I immediately feel peaceful about it. Sometimes, the situation instantly changes because I no longer want the experience I had. Sometimes, I feel laughter bubble up as I realize how absurd my previous feelings were.  

But even if there is no apparent change, I feel completely different, so everything changes. At least in that specific situation. Jesus says that my mind makes my future and that when I accept the Atonement (and here he means when I accept it fully), I will be through with making illusions. I will return to creation and do this instantly and completely.  

Disordered Thoughts

The reason this is so is that the Atonement will change my mind. My disordered thoughts will fall away, and “the proper ordering of thought becomes quite apparent.” So, of course, everything changes. My mind makes up my disordered world because my thoughts are disordered. Without the disordered thoughts, I will see the real world, which is the effect of my ordered (real) thoughts. And it will reflect God, Who is the Source of my real thoughts.  

So, I asked Jesus to help me understand my problem. I get this. I really do. It seems I can almost touch it. Yet, for a long time, I don’t accept the Atonement. I cling to my stories (my disordered thoughts) instead. After I asked, I thought I should just sit here, unmoving, until my mind accepted the inevitable. But then I thought that I needed to get on with my story.  

I have things to do today, people to see and talk to, money to make, bills to pay. Responsibilities. In other words, I have a story to live. My disordered thoughts tell me the story I made up is important, real, and worth living. My disordered thoughts tell me that following the script I wrote is essential. To abandon it would mean horrible things would happen. The ego says I will no longer exist. I have to get up from here and get to work to prevent this from happening. I will even follow my script into death because death is a small price to pay to keep the unthinkable from happening. So says my disordered thoughts.  

Perceiving Differently

Thank you, Jesus, for helping me understand why I don’t simply accept the Atonement and be done with it. Strangely enough, understanding how completely I have believed my disordered thoughts and how deep the fear of release, I feel safe to loosen my grip on my story. “Holy Spirit, please strengthen my resolve. Correct my perceptions.”  

I know that Jesus is right; my disordered thoughts show me a disordered world, but all of it can be perceived differently, and then it can be let go without effort or concern. I really see how frightening it would be to suddenly have everything I have ever believed was real just fall away. But I also know that I would not be abandoned in this moment of revelation.  

Jesus has taught me much, and my mind has been healed of much. I believe Jesus when he said that I can do whatever he asks of me, and I trust implicitly. So here I am, asking for the Atonement, trusting that when the world as I know it falls away, I will still exist. I put this in Your hands, also trusting that You know the exact instant that is perfect for my full awakening. But, oh my God, I long for my freedom!

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