ACIM VII. Creation and Communication, P 4. Existence as well as being rest on communication.
ACIM Chapter 4, VII. Creation and Communication, P 4
VII. Creation and Communication, P 4
4 Existence as well as being rest on communication. Existence, however, is specific in how, what and with whom communication is judged to be worth undertaking. Being is completely without these distinctions. It is a state in which the mind is in communication with everything that is real. To whatever extent you permit this state to be curtailed you are limiting your sense of your own reality, which becomes total only by recognizing all reality in the glorious context of its real relationship to you. This is your reality. Do not desecrate it or recoil from it. It is your real home, your real temple and your real Self.
I see how my ego is very specific about communication. Not only does it have specific reasons or goals in communication with each specific person, but vast numbers of people stand outside the small circle of people it deems worthy of communication. I would give money to a beggar, but would I be interested in his story, would I open my mind and heart to him. Or would I give and quickly shy away? I have been known to stand really still in a dark room waiting out the Jehovah’s Witness knocking on my door. For a long time, I avoided the sick, the mentally ill, the old. But Spirit kept sending them to my door until finally I began to open it.
Other Ways I Defend Against True Communication
For many years animal lovers have baffled me. They seemed to in some way attuned to their pets and to have such deep love for them. I couldn’t understand this. In my mind they were just animals and while I would be kind to them, I felt no love and would never consider communicating with them. I no longer feel like they are “just” animals, but I still am not drawn to them in the way some people are. I have no doubt though, that communication with them is possible because I have seen proof of it.
My feeling is that words are just one way to communicate and probably not the most effective. I have a feeling that if I let go the self-imposed boundaries of body-to-body communication I would feel something else. I sense it right there just out of reach, hindered only by my need to be separate. Probably I limit my communication because I have boundaries that I defend against encroachment. My body is my most important fortification; my ego resides “safely” behind its walls and all else is rebutted. My judgments further hinder communication, as some are deemed worthy and others repelled or disregarded.
Even writing about this, I feel tired. How much of myself goes into preventing communication? How much effort, attention and energy do I expend preventing communication? If being naturally communicates with all, then I must be working very hard to be unaware of this communication. I am learning how to let down my defenses and be my Self. What I now do is become willing to communicate on whatever level I am aware.
Remaining Vigilant
I remain vigilant for self-imposed restrictions on communication. One way I do this is to give each person I speak to my total attention rather than allowing my mind to wander. I also begin each conversation with the silent prayer to know this brother, to hear this brother in whatever way he needs me to hear him, to hear with my Heart not just my ears. I release whatever judgments arise because those judgments are a block that keeps me from hearing my brother.
Perhaps most importantly, I am now allowing memories from the past to come more freely into my mind. I do this so that I can forgive the beliefs that were formed at that time. So many of those beliefs keep me guarded in my communication. How can communication be free if I am always on the defensive? Until we heal the past, we keep repeating it. It repeats because it was not forgiven at the time. But it can be healed now because if a thought is in our mind, it is no longer in the past; it is happening now.
Learning to Use the Choose Again Process to Forgive Myself
Here is an example. This morning, I recalled a time when my father was taking us on a long-promised trip. We were so excited! I don’t remember anything that upset him, maybe my mom said something to set him off. But in his anger, he turned the car around and refused to go on. I remembered how disappointed I felt and how helpless I was to do anything about it.
Then suddenly, my mind jumped to a similar experience with my ex-husband. It was like puzzle pieces falling into place as I saw how I had married my father, so to speak. I let the emotions of that child come up in me and I saw the same emotion in that moment with my ex. I felt the same disappointment and an intense feeling of helplessness. Feeling helpless left me with the belief I was a victim and unsafe. I felt shame, too, because of those beliefs about myself. Because of all the unhealed beliefs in my mind, I had no idea how to communicate with my ex-husband in a way that might have helped. I was just overwhelmed with emotion.
This morning, however, I was able to look at those memories without flinching from them. Thus, I was able to forgive my young self for the beliefs of helplessness and the fear that comes with being helpless. I saw how that young child interpreted the situation to mean that I was powerless. I was unable to influence the situation and so I began to believe I didn’t matter. After all, no one cared how I felt in these situations.
Forgiving the Beliefs
So, I forgave those beliefs. This new understanding of how I came to think of myself in this way made correction possible. I was able to let go (forgive) the belief I must deserve to be unimportant, worthless. Then I was able to forgive myself for falling into the same pit of despair with the situation with my ex-husband. I did this with Jesus.
He heard my story and witnessed the emotions. He understood how I came to believe these false things about myself but also knew they were not true. And because we share the same mind, I was able to know the truth about me, too. How could I be worthless when my worth was established by God in my creation.
I have become willing, and ever more willing, to allow communication at the deepest levels I am capable at this time. Full communication with all things must be a wonder to be embraced, rather than a danger to be defended against. I give my willingness to move into this and though I don’t know how, I know it is possible and it is my right because it is my true nature. My ego wants separation, but I am not my ego.
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