ACIM Chapter 4, IV. This Need Not Be, P 6, 7

ACIM IV. This Need Not Be, P 6, 7. Watch your mind for the temptations of the ego, and do not be deceived by it. It offers you nothing.

IV. This Need Not Be, P 6

6 Watch your mind for the temptations of the ego, and do not be deceived by it. It offers you nothing. When you have given up this voluntary dis-spiriting, you will see how your mind can focus and rise above fatigue and heal. Yet you are not sufficiently vigilant against the demands of the ego to disengage yourself. This need not be.

Here is something from a past journal. I have made great strides since then, but I see that I am not done. While it doesn’t often happen anymore, I can occasionally fall into this thinking.

I Thought I Didn’t Deserve Help

Over time I have been vigilant for the ego beliefs I still hold in my mind, and I am becoming more and more willing to let them go realizing they cannot be true. This has been quite a job! I keep finding layers and layers of belief. For instance, I have learned that I can do this writing in the mornings without worrying about the time. Jesus said he would take care of time for me, and so I allowed him to do so. It is such a relief not to watch the clock and worry about time constantly. The ego keeps trying to drag me back into the fear of time passing too quickly, but I remind myself that Jesus has got this.

Recently, I was worried about time because circumstances interfered with my schedule. And I thought about how I allowed myself to be distracted yesterday. If I hadn’t, this would not be a problem today. I thought I could give time to Jesus in this case as well, but I didn’t do it. I felt that gentle tap on my shoulder and stopped to question my decision. Why not give all my time to Jesus and trust that it will be manipulated to my advantage?

This Need Not Be

As I watched my mind, I saw that I felt it would be wrong because I could take care of this alone if I just tried. I felt like I didn’t deserve help because I was wasting time. It felt like I deserved help while writing because the work itself made me worthy. I questioned these thoughts and opened my mind to the Holy Spirit. He reminded me that I am not worthy because I do something and not unworthy because I do something else.

He asked me to imagine a world where I drifted through life without concern because I knew I belonged to God. I try to imagine that. Instead of being afraid, I try to see myself looking at the clock and simply knowing that everything will work perfectly for me. And not because I did something to deserve it but because it is God’s Will that I am perfectly protected at all times. Could it be that I never have anything to fear unless I choose to believe in fear? Honestly, am I volunteering to live in fear?

I have learned over the years that living by the ego’s dictates is dispiriting. It wears me out and leaves me limp and listless at the end of the day. I became willing to know that this need not be. Here is a message I received from Holy Spirit when I was still resisting full surrender to Him. He spoke to me about another layer I had missed.

A Message From Holy Spirit

Holy Spirit: Dear one, you have heard Me when I spoke to you about fatigue and its cause. You understand that you become tired, not because the body wears out or because of lack of sleep, but because the mind engaged with ego beliefs and fears drains you of joy and robs you of peace. You have been very vigilant for the many opportunities to see this in your life, and you have taken advantage of these opportunities to let go of many of these beliefs.

What you have not seen is that you still believe that the failure to do this perfectly means you must accept the consequences of being dispirited and fatigued. This is not so. Could it ever be the Will of your Father that you suffer? You have glimpsed what I am saying to you because you have asked me to help you see this differently, but then you allow the ego to persuade you to guilt and fall back into exhaustion. You but do this to yourself, my friend.

Let me tell you clearly; this need not be. When your day begins to wind down, and you start to feel tiredness and discouragement in your mind, ask Me to intervene. I will undo this feeling for you if that is your choice. Already you have begun to see this differently, and now you sometimes deliberately focus on gratitude instead of fear and guilt.

He Asks Me to Listen

Listen closely to what I say to you right now. You can do this every time. You can choose healing, gratitude, and joy every single day. At no time is it necessary to indulge the ego and fall listlessly into your chair or enter sleep in a discouraged state. Joy is not something you earn. It is your right, and nothing you do or fail to do can strip you of that right. Joy is yours simply for the asking. Ask Me to heal your mind when you think otherwise. It is My delight to do so.

IV. This Need Not Be, P 7

7 The habit of engaging with God and His creations is easily made if you actively refuse to let your mind slip away. The problem is not one of concentration; it is the belief that no one, including yourself, is worth consistent effort. Side with me consistently against this deception, and do not permit this shabby belief to pull you back. The disheartened are useless to themselves and to me, but only the ego can be disheartened.

I remember what it feels like to be disheartened, and I remember it because, occasionally, my mind goes back to that state. This is what it felt like. I have a hard time letting go of some grievances, and after trying a few times and failing, I begin to feel disheartened. I begin to feel like I can’t do this, and there is a part of the mind familiar with this feeling which says it’s no use. This part of my mind believes I’m not worth the trouble. This is the ego mind.

The Ego Judges Harshly

Here is something I wrote about that happened when I was still working. It is a good example of this phenomenon.

I approached a customer about buying a new product he needs for his water system, and I am pretty sure I failed to explain myself clearly. I sense that I did not gain his confidence and that he may not buy it or may buy it from someone else who does inspire his confidence. Every time I think about this, I feel guilty and fearful. I did not do a good job for my company or my customer. I feel like I have been doing this job for a long time now, and I should not have made this error. So, I feel bad about myself.

I knew that I was not thinking clearly and that my thinking did not align with God’s Will. Though I knew this from the beginning, knowing it didn’t seem to help me let go of the thought that I was guilty of my failure. I have tried and failed to forgive myself. I feel like I have failed both as a salesperson and as a spiritual student. This morning, I noticed the feeling is still popping up, but I noticed two other things.

I Chose Not to Believe the Ego

I noticed that while I feel frustrated and the ego wants me to feel disheartened and give up, that is not happening. Instead, I am following those feelings and noticing the thoughts that create them. In so doing, I have realized that I became confused about what I was forgiving. The fact is that I might have failed to do my job in the way I thought I should. That is the only fact in this story, and I am not sure it is true. It is too early to tell.

Everything else about the story is something I made up. It is the ego’s interpretation of what the situation means. The ego says that if I did fail to make the sale, it means I am unworthy and guilty. This interpretation is not in alignment with the Will of God. And it is this interpretation that I forgive. I accept the Atonement instead. I allow the Holy Spirit to heal my mind of the belief that convincing my customer to buy from me is what makes me worthy, and failing to do this makes me unworthy.

The same is true about the feeling that taking days to come to this conclusion makes me an unworthy student of the Course. If it took me the rest of my life to let this go and accept the truth in its place, my reality would remain unaffected by that. I would still be innocent. I would still be exactly as God created me. In other words, and this is the second thing I realized, only the ego can feel disheartened, and I am not the ego.

They Can’t Touch Me

I stand outside these feelings that come and go and are based on mistaken beliefs, and I am untouched by them. It is the ego that is disheartened, not me. But this indicates that there are beliefs in the mind that need to be healed. But I also see that I am not the ego and have nothing to fear because I belong to God. As my mind clears of its confusion, I am filled with gratitude. I am grateful I stuck with it and did not allow myself to succumb to the ego desire to give up. I am grateful for the clarity. And I am grateful to let this craziness be undone for me and for all of us.

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