ACIM T-4. I. Right Teaching and Right Learning, P 7, 8. Your worth is not established by teaching or learning. Your worth is established by God.
ACIM Chapter 4, I. Right Teaching and Right Learning, P 7,8
7 I. Right Teaching and Right Learning, P 7
7 Your worth is not established by teaching or learning. Your worth is established by God. As long as you dispute this everything you do will be fearful, particularly any situation that lends itself to the belief in superiority and inferiority. Teachers must be patient and repeat their lessons until they are learned. I am willing to do this, because I have no right to set your learning limits for you. Again, – nothing you do or think or wish or make is necessary to establish your worth. This point is not debatable except in delusions. Your ego is never at stake because God did not create it. Your spirit is never at stake because He did. Any confusion on this point is delusional, and no form of devotion is possible as long as this delusion lasts.
My worth was established by God, and so it is unassailable. Nothing I do or say can change it. I cannot make myself more worthy with good works or successes in my life. I am not a better Son of God because I teach or because I write spiritual books. Nor can I, or anyone else, diminish my worth. When I feel guilty about something I said or did, I am learning that there is nothing I need to do to prop up my self-worth. If I think I need to apologize to someone because I may have caused harm, I do that. But my words did not change my Self. I am innocent.
Sometimes I Forget
This applies to everyone else as well. In my most lucid moments, I imagine my perfect and holy Self moving through this imagined life, having experiences with other holy Beings. Sometimes I imagine our holy Self simply being and imagined experiences passing through us. But either way, in those moments, I never see those experiences leaving a stain on our brilliant Selves.
When I am immersed in the stories, I forget that this is so, and I feel guilt or assign guilt for the things we imagine happen. Then I remember my prayer: Reveal to me my innocence. Not make me innocent, or restore my innocence, just reveal to me my innocence. One day I was having an experience in which I felt attacked. I asked that God reveal to me our innocence. Then I had another experience of being attacked. I watched my thoughts and saw that I was assigning blame for my feelings. Again, I asked that God reveal to me our innocence.
The third time it happened, I realized that I needed to look more closely at this. If I am having experiences of blame (mine or someone else’s, it doesn’t matter), I have forgotten who I am. I have forgotten that God established my worth in my creation, and nothing can change that. If unworthiness has become my belief, then unworthiness stories are what I will project. I asked that my innocence be revealed but did not accept it.
Reliving the Tiny Mad Idea
Sometimes I can hardly believe myself. I had a choice; I could hold onto my grievances, continue to project blame for a false belief in my mind, and continue to find my brothers guilty and suffer the consequences of this. I felt angry, abused, confused, afraid, uncertain and doubtful. Obviously, I forgot who I am. No matter who I blamed, I didn’t feel any better. But I had another choice. I could accept the Atonement in this situation. I could allow the Holy Spirit to reveal to me our innocence. This would have returned me to peace and joy.
I noticed that I still wavered between the two choices. It seemed a sure bet that the other person was the guilty one, and I hesitated to let him off the hook. Then I had a sudden moment of sanity and realized that I was literally choosing against God and for the separation all over again. Is my whole “life” a variation on that one moment, the moment choice was born, and with it, guilt and fear? I think so.
I asked myself what it was that I wanted. Do I want another story of guilt and blame, attack and defend, or do I want peace and happiness? It is absolutely my choice. Do I want to keep this guy on the hook so bad that I am willing to give up Heaven to be sure he stays hooked? Really, Myron? Really? I came to my senses, and when I asked again for innocence to be revealed, I was ready to accept it. Today’s reading in the Text is a perfect reinforcement for me. I had forgotten for a while that day that our worth has been established and that our stories cannot change that.
8 I. Right Teaching and Right Learning, P 8
8 The ego tries to exploit all situations into forms of praise for itself in order to overcome its doubts. It will remain doubtful as long as you believe in its existence. You who made it cannot trust it, because in your right mind you realize it is not real. The only sane solution is not to try to change reality, which is indeed a fearful attempt, but to accept it as it is. You are part of reality, which stands unchanged beyond the reach of your ego but within easy reach of spirit. When you are afraid, be still and know that God is real, and you are His beloved Son in whom He is well pleased. Do not let your ego dispute this, because the ego cannot know what is as far beyond its reach as you are.
The bad news is the ego is doubtful and afraid, and nothing is going to change this. I had spent my life trying to make a stronger, better ego-self with more education, more income, buying more stuff, developing a better personality, etc. But I cannot shore up the ego, so there is no reason to try, which means I had been wasting my time. I now have a nicer ego, a more spiritual ego, a kinder ego. And still, it compares itself to others and finds itself wanting in every department. It remains doubtful and fearful.
The Good News
The good news is I am not my ego. What I am is established in God, is beyond doubt, and has nothing to fear. What I am cannot be affected by ego doubts and fears or anything the ego does, says, or thinks. I am like God in every way. This means I am not my personality. I am not my body. I am not any of the traits I had spent my life trying to stave off the doubts and uncertainties that plague the ego. All the while, I am simply and only the Son of God.
I continue to forget who I am. This memory of Self is far too new to consistently stand against the ego-self I have identified with for so long. What do I do when I feel doubtful and uncertain when guilt overcomes me and I become afraid? Jesus tells me that when I am afraid, I should be still and know that God is real and I am His beloved Son in whom He is well pleased.
I have used many prayers or affirmations to turn my mind back toward truth. I have reminded myself that the truth is true. Asking that the Holy Spirit heal my mind. I have accepted the Atonement. I have reminded myself that I am still as God created me. And I have remembered that God goes with me wherever I go. Yesterday I often remembered that what is not God’s Will is not real and can have no effect on me. I prayed that God would show me His Will for me.
All That I Want
However I choose to break the ego’s hold on my mind; the goal is to return to the peaceful certainty of my true Self. I rest in God. In that rest, there will be no words, but my mind remembers that I am His Son, and He loves me. In trust, I surrender all to Him. I am at peace, and doubt, uncertainty, and fear cannot find me. For a long time, it was only for a brief respite, but it was enough to remind me that this is my natural state and that it is what I want. When it is all that I want, it is all that I will have.
To read my Pathways of Light blog on Self-Identity, CLICK HERE.