ACIM T. 3. VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 8, 9. The issue of authority is really a question of authorship.
ACIM T. 3. VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 8, 9
8 VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 8
8 The issue of authority is really a question of authorship. When you have an authority problem, it is always because you believe you are the author of yourself and project your delusion onto others. You then perceive the situation as one in which others are literally fighting you for your authorship. This is the fundamental error of all those who believe they have usurped the power of God. This belief is very frightening to them, but hardly troubles God. He is, however, eager to undo it, not to punish His children, but only because He knows that it makes them unhappy. God’s creations are given their true Authorship, but you prefer to be anonymous when you choose to separate yourself from your Author. Being uncertain of your true Authorship, you believe that your creation was anonymous. This leaves you in a position where it sounds meaningful to believe that you created yourself. The dispute over authorship has left such uncertainty in your mind that it may even doubt whether you really exist at all.
Identity Crisis
When I first read this, it made me very uneasy, to the point that I did not allow myself to understand it even though it was pretty clear. I am more accepting of it now. Clearly, I have confused myself about my identity. God created me, and so I am like God. I decided to play with the idea that I am different, and so imagined a self that was unlike God. I made up a self, decided it was me, and in so doing, imagined I was the creator of myself. This was confusing and frightening, and so I projected this delusion onto others. Now it is really confusing and even more frightening because I always seem to be fighting for authorship.
What kind of self have I made? I am a fragile body, separated from all other bodies and everything around me, living at a point in space and time. I have adventures in which I seem to be in danger, and I have to figure out how to survive. And I give myself exciting moments, fun moments, and moments of exquisite happiness. But behind even these moments is the uncertainty that is inevitable within the constraints chosen for this existence, which is mortality. Eventually, I run out of options, and I die. It sounds like a video game and is no more meaningful.
The Parameters
I made up certain concepts that drive the story and describe its parameters. There is loss, lack, guilt, and fear. Everything that happens in this world is motivated and described by one of these concepts. I have many stories based on loss. I lose a friend to death. Once, I lost a job to the economy. I don’t have enough money. I lack friends, good health, and someone to love. And I feel guilty for everything, for what I did and what I failed to do. I am afraid all of this will catch up to me, and I will be punished.
I Made All That I See
How do I project this onto others? I made this. I made the whole world as I experience it, and I am afraid of what I have done. And I am uneasy with the self I made, so I try to make others responsible. When my chosen story goes awry, I look for the cause of my failure in those around me. A friend dies, and I say that it is God’s Will. I lose my job and placed the blame on my boss or the uncaring company I work for. A relationship goes awry, and I blame my partner and look for a better one.
So, what has happened is that I am in constant siege over my authorship. I battle God, Who thinks He made me like Himself, perfect, whole, and eternal. But I insist that I am weak, frail, beleaguered, and mortal. I battle other people who I have blamed for causing me to act in certain ways and thus seem to be defining who I am. I am left in such confusion about my authorship that I don’t know who I am or even if I exist at all.
God’s love for us is unwavering. He does not judge us wrong for our choices. The fear that He does and that we will be punished is a concept we made up. In truth, God wants only our happiness. This is why He created a Guide and a Comforter and placed It in our minds. We are given the way out of our predicament. We are given a way to undo what we have done.
I Forgive All That I Made
As we choose to forgive the world we made and the idea that we are our own creator, the Holy Spirit acts on our behalf to undo the world. Now that I am ready to wake up from this absurd dream, I notice when I am living a guilt story and remember that guilt is a concept I made up. I notice how unhappy I am when I feel guilty or when I project guilt. So, I choose again by asking the Holy Spirit to heal the belief in my mind that guilt is real and has real effects.
I do the same with the other concepts I made up. I continue to undo the world in this way until I am free of the suffering that comes from being confused about my authorship. God is the Author, and I am His creation. I remember this as I allow the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. Each time I let go of a wrong-minded belief, my mind clears a little more, and I am beginning to lose interest in playing at being my own creator.
9 VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 9
9 Only those who give over all desire to reject can know that their own rejection is impossible. You have not usurped the power of God, but you have lost it. Fortunately, to lose something does not mean that it has gone. It merely means that you do not remember where it is. Its existence does not depend on your ability to identify it, or even to place it. It is possible to look on reality without judgment and merely know that it is there.
What a neat paragraph this is!
Only those who give over all desire to reject can know that their own rejection is impossible.
No wonder I still feel rejectable! I have the belief in rejection in my mind, so I project stories of rejection. I see someone I disapprove of, and I have rejected that person. Or, I see an action I judge as wrong and have rejected it. Each time I reject, I strengthen the belief that rejection is real and important. I increase the value I place on my right to reject. Spend today noticing the obvious and subtle ways you reject today, and you will see what I mean.
Because all our weapons of attack are double-edged, it will slice both ways, and I will project stories that prove I, too, am rejected. Because I have taught myself to believe in rejection, I will believe the stories that seem to prove I have been rejected, even when the proof is flimsy. Understanding this, I am going to be very alert to my tendency to judge and reject. This is not a belief I want to strengthen in my mind.
Eradicating Rejection
I am grateful to remember that it is not my job to eradicate the belief in rejection or even to control my urge to reject. It is only my job to notice when I am rejecting and to realize this is a belief that has no truth to it. God is not rejection, so rejection cannot exist. I made it up as part of the whole separation experiment. I am ready to choose again, and I do so by asking the Holy Spirit to undo what I have done. When I have been healed of this false belief, there will be no more rejection in my mind to project onto the story of Myron. Won’t that be a nifty turn of events!
You have not usurped the power of God, but you have lost it.
The second thing I love about this paragraph is that I am reminded that I have not actually done anything to feel guilty about. I have not really usurped the power of God. It is patently absurd to believe I ever could have done this, but in believing I had done so, I scared the bejeesus out of myself.
I am so awash in guilt and shame that I cannot even think straight anymore. This guilt is so intense that it cannot be borne and so is denied, but along with the guilt, the reason for the guilt is denied as well. I can’t find most of this unconscious guilt because I buried it so deeply in my mind that it is lost to me. But as I have lost conscious awareness of the guilt, I have also lost conscious awareness of the power of God.
Eradicating Guilt
The good news is twofold. First, guilt does not exist. It is part of the separation idea. We made up guilt, and we can allow it to be undone for us. We don’t need to get in touch with that deep well of unconscious guilt in order to do that. As long as we continue to forgive as much of the guilt as we can, the rest will be done for us.
The second piece of good news is that while we can “lose” our awareness of the power of God, it does not actually go anywhere. I will find it when I want it. I will want it when I am no longer afraid of it. And I will no longer be afraid of it when I forgive the idea of guilt. It is simple to forgive guilt. However, the ego mind absolutely believes in guilt. It is made of guilt and will not give up the idea easily. But it is still simple to do it.
I notice guilt in the mind, all guilt, regardless of the direction it points toward another or toward myself. Then, I realize that guilt is not in God, and so it cannot be in me. I agree to be healed of this belief, and I accept that healing. Notice a pattern here? ~smile~ When you get serious about this forgiveness work with guilt, don’t be surprised if the ego part of your mind fights you on this. It will try to prove guilt with its stories. Don’t believe them. They are pure fiction.
CLICK HERE to hear an excellent teaching by Regina Dawn Akers on letting go of the belief in rejection.