ACIM T. 3. VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 4. You are very fearful of everything you have perceived but have refused to accept.
ACIM T. 3. VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 4.
VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 4
4 You are very fearful of everything you have perceived but have refused to accept. You believe that, because you have refused to accept it, you have lost control over it. This is why you see it in nightmares, or in pleasant disguises in what seem to be your happier dreams. Nothing that you have refused to accept can be brought into awareness. It is not dangerous in itself, but you have made it seem dangerous to you.
I felt a little confused about this paragraph and asked for understanding. In the first sentence, I am told that I am fearful of the things I perceive but refuse to accept. So what is it that I have perceived but refused to accept? That would be the things I project onto others. I notice a thought in my mind but feel guilty or afraid of the thought and quickly project it. I see it (or perceive it) outside me, and I think I am free of it, but now I am nervous because, outside of me, I have no control over it.
How Does this Work?
Jesus, could you give me an example of this?
I received these examples. I understand better when I perceive it in a personal way, as if it was my life. Though I don’t actually have these beliefs anymore, I am sure I had them in the past.
The whole world I see is an example of this. A specific example would be the belief in lack. If I believe in lack, I might project this belief onto the world as financial poverty. I see poverty everywhere I look. People are starving to death while others have so much they cannot even use it all. I don’t know what to do about it and think because I cannot find a solution that, I am guilty. I buy some luxury and feel guilty because I could have used that money to feed some hungry child. Then I realize there is no way I can fix this problem, that it is out of my control, and this makes me fearful and angry.
If I believe in loss, I project that belief onto the world. For example, I am in love, giddy with it, and I think I will love this person until I die, and even death cannot end my love. Then I fall out of love, and I lose that wonderful feeling. I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t make love last forever, and now I can’t be happy without it. Love is out of my control, and I am a victim of its loss. I either run out to fill that loss with someone else, or I become afraid to lose again, and so defend myself against it and never allow myself to fall in love again.
Just Beliefs In My Mind
If I believe in suffering and so project suffering onto the world, this could happen. I see people with cancer everywhere I look, and I am afraid because it seems so horrible. Even if I never have it or even if no one I love has it, I am afraid because it is possible, and so I live in dread. I read every article on it and tried every preventative measure to keep it at bay, but I don’t know if any of them will work, so I am still in fear. Or I project it onto this body I think of as myself. I have cancer, and it just appeared. I have no control over it and can only try to defend this body from its ravages.
These are possible scenarios. In each one, the thought or belief is in the mind, and in an effort to get rid of the belief, it is thrown out (projected). It then seems to be outside, no longer in my mind but out “there.” It is not me, not my fault, and I am not guilty of having that thought. That is the idea, anyway. But out there, I have no control over it, so now I am afraid.
The Solution
The solution is to stop trying to control it out there, which, of course, is impossible. As long as I perceive the idea as something outside myself, I will continue to feel victimized by it, but as I withdraw my projections and acknowledge the thoughts, I can allow them to be healed. When I see poverty, instead of joining a cause to eradicate it, I realize that the idea of poverty is in my mind, and that is where it must be healed.
When I see loss, instead of feeling helpless to do anything about it, I acknowledge that the loss I see is just a symbol of the idea of loss I believe in. I ask the Holy Spirit to heal the belief in loss in my mind, and I accept His healing. A mind that does not believe in loss will not see loss. A mind that does not believe in suffering will not see suffering because it will not project suffering or loss.
Does the world suddenly change? No, it is the mind that is healed that changed. For instance, when I used to come up short on money, I would panic and find a way to make more money. Of course, there is a limit to this possibility, and I know it. So, this solution doesn’t help. I may have more money temporarily, but nothing changed, so the problem is not resolved. It will only reoccur.
How It Changed
When I let go of the belief in loss, I stopped worrying about loss of any kind. If I ran out of money, I would wait and watch with interest to see what happened next. Somehow, whatever I needed would show up. When I saw others suffering from loss, I saw it differently. I knew that this was their ticket home. They could use it to allow the healing of their mind. Or not.
But even if they just suffered from fear of loss, unaware of how to see it another way or even to ask for another way, the experience would be helpful. It would teach them what they didn’t want, just as it did me. And, of course, if I can help, I will do so, and maybe this will be the lesson in love and kindness they needed more than they needed the money.
From the place of identifying with the ego mind, it is very hard to remember that my story of Myron is just a story and that none of it is real. But every time I notice a thought that is not in alignment with truth and allows that thought to be healed, I loosen my hold on that false identity of Myron. The darkness recedes a little, and there is more light in my mind. I begin to see.
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