The crucifixion did not establish the Atonement; the resurrection did.
ACIM I. Atonement Without Sacrifice, P 1, 2
I. Atonement Without Sacrifice, P 1
1 A further point must be perfectly clear before any residual fear still associated with miracles can disappear. The crucifixion did not establish the Atonement; the resurrection did. Many sincere Christians have misunderstood this. No one who is free of the belief in scarcity could possibly make this mistake. If the crucifixion is seen from an upside-down point of view, it does appear as if God permitted and even encouraged one of His Sons to suffer because he was good. This particularly unfortunate interpretation, which arose out of projection, has led many people to be bitterly afraid of God. Such anti-religious concepts enter into many religions. Yet the real Christian should pause and ask, “How could this be?” Is it likely that God Himself would be capable of the kind of thinking which His Own words have clearly stated is unworthy of His Son?
Crucifixion
The crucifixion did not establish the Atonement; the resurrection did. This was a very important sentence for me when I first read the Course. I remember sighing a deep sigh of relief. Having spent most of my life as a devout Catholic, the focus of my spiritual beliefs was that Jesus died for my sins. And that I should, in return, live a sinless life, or his suffering and death were for naught.
This idea of suffering for God was very strong in the Catholic Church. Saints were venerated for their martyrdom. As a child, I hoped that one day I would face a crisis of faith. Then I would have the opportunity to prove that I was willing to suffer for God, too. I loved God so much that I just knew I would not back down from this challenge.
As I grew older and committed “sins,” I lost faith in myself as a good Catholic. I was guilty, and so I no longer believed in my pure love of God and His love for me. I became afraid of the idea of sacrifice for God and felt even guiltier. This change did not evolve consciously. It is only in retrospect that I see how it happened. I went from feeling loved and protected by God to feeling guilty and fearful of God. I learned to dread the moment I would be asked to face “crucifixion” to prove myself worthy of salvation.
Guilt and Suffering
The idea of guilt and the need to atone for this guilt through suffering was a deeply rooted belief. And shows up in my life even now. It shows up in many little ways. In the past, I have chosen to suffer sickness and heartache. Even poverty and disillusionment were better than something maybe worse. I was trying to appease an angry and vengeful God so that He will not inflict worse upon me.
I threw myself headlong into pain and suffering and finally death. It was an effort to convince God I have hurt myself enough, and He doesn’t need to demand my crucifixion. I reasoned that maybe my self-inflicted suffering would convince Him I was worthy of His love again, and I would be saved. Of course, I didn’t consciously ascribe to this theory, but I kept hurting myself, so what can I say?
Jesus has offered us a new way of atoning for our supposed sins. He has set into motion a plan that will actually save us from our mistaken beliefs. The plan of Atonement requires that we look at those ideas and choose against them. The Holy Spirit will then purify our minds and heal us. We will be left with nothing but the truth. Then we will surely laugh at the idea that God has ever wanted our suffering.
What Will I Lose?
What will I have to give up to join Jesus in this plan of Atonement? I will have to give up the belief in guilt. The idea of suffering will have to go. That means no more sickness, no more poverty, no more pain, jealousy, rage, doubt, fear, loneliness, depression, or death. I will have to give up the idea of a God that wants me to suffer to prove my love. I don’t know. If I give up all of that, what will be left?
Can that be a real fear I have, that I am nothing without my sins and my punishments? Maybe. Evidently, this is exactly what I did believe my whole life. Eventually, I embraced the possibility that I am more than the fear and guilt I used to believe I was. With the help of A Course in Miracles and Jesus, I started to believe that there is a way to reclaim this Self that loves God and is loved and cherished by Him. Through the Plan of Atonement put into motion by Jesus, I am resurrecting my real Self. My thinking is being corrected, my mind is being healed, and my memory is returning. Love is reclaiming me.
I. Atonement Without Sacrifice, P 2
2 The best defense, as always, is not to attack another’s position, but rather to protect the truth. It is unwise to accept any concept if you have to invert a whole frame of reference in order to justify it. This procedure is painful in its minor applications and genuinely tragic on a wider scale. Persecution frequently results in an attempt to “justify” the terrible misperception that God Himself persecuted His Own Son on behalf of salvation. The very words are meaningless. It has been particularly difficult to overcome this because, although the error itself is no harder to correct than any other, many have been unwilling to give it up in view of its prominent value as a defense. In milder forms a parent says, “This hurts me more than it hurts you,” and feels exonerated in beating a child. Can you believe our Father really thinks this way? It is so essential that all such thinking be dispelled that we must be sure that nothing of this kind remains in your mind. I was not “punished” because you were bad. The wholly benign lesson the Atonement teaches is lost if it is tainted with this kind of distortion in any form.
God Is Love and So Are We
Everything in the Course teaches us that God is Love, and so are we. It teaches us that God loves us, does not want us to suffer, and wants only our happiness. It teaches us that we are one with each other and with God. And that everything to the contrary is an illusion of our own making. The Course teaches us that to experience this, we only need to let go of our illusion. It even tells us how to do this.
We can’t believe that Jesus was punished for our sins and still believe what he is telling us in A Course in Miracles. Either his death has been completely misunderstood, or what he has told us in the Course is wrong. The desire to hold onto this idea of Jesus dying for our sins is representative of our desire to justify holding onto some of the illusion while letting the rest go and is why we experience the process as hard.
Justifications
Jesus gives the example of using his death as a justification for beating a child. If our Heavenly Father killed His son to atone for our sins, then it makes perfect sense to believe it’s alright to beat a misbehaving child. I see that this kind of thinking shows up in my life in many ways. I want to let go of the illusion of separation and return my mind to God. But it seems I want to retain my “right” to punish myself and others.
When I first read about beating a child, I thought about when I was a young mother. I often spanked and punished my children. I thought it was my job. And even after I learned better, I remembered an instance when I lost my temper and slapped my daughter. Just thinking about these mistakes, I felt so guilty and so regretful that I cried. It took many years for me to allow this guilt to be healed because I didn’t feel worthy of forgiveness. I have been holding onto the idea of condemnation and punishment for just these kinds of things.
Rejecting My Oneness
I have learned to civilize my behavior, so I seldom act on my angry thoughts, but the thoughts are still there sometimes. Any time I think someone should have acted differently, I have silently condemned them, and in my mind, I have punished them. The punishment might even show up in our life. I might punish them by avoiding them, for instance.
In the scheme of things, it doesn’t seem like much, but in judging this person and finding him guilty and deserving of punishment, I have rejected everything the Course is teaching me. I have rejected my true Self, my Oneness, and my unity with my brothers and with God. In short, I have said that I choose not to accept myself as Love because it would mean that I would have to be one with this person who just doesn’t meet my standards.
It would also mean that I cannot accept God, Who is Love and Who knows nothing of condemnation or punishment. However, if I can say that God punished His Son with death, then this makes it easier to justify my own judgments. This is why Jesus says that we must get rid of any belief that we still hold about his death being a punishment.
Letting Go of Separation Ideas
To return to God, we must let go of the idea of guilt, blame, and punishment, even death. These are things we made up as part of the separation idea. They didn’t exist before we made them, and they do not truly exist now. They have nothing to do with God and nothing to do with reality.
It is not that we have to forgive guilty behavior. We have to forgive the very idea of guilt. Yes, we practice this by forgiving people, ourselves, and situations. We do this by forgiving one guilty thought at a time because we must start someplace. But in doing this practice, we are simply allowing our minds to adjust to the truth. Guilt itself is unreal, so there is nothing to forgive.
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