ACIM VIII. The Meaning of the Last Judgement, P 4.
ACIM VIII. The Meaning of the Last Judgement, P 4, 5. The first step toward freedom involves a sorting out of the false from the true.
VIII. The Meaning of the Last Judgment, P 4
4 The first step toward freedom involves a sorting out of the false from the true. This is a process of separation in the constructive sense, and reflects the true meaning of the Apocalypse. Everyone will ultimately look upon his own creations and choose to preserve only what is good, just as God Himself looked upon what He had created and knew that it was good. At this point, the mind can begin to look with love on its own creations because of their worthiness. At the same time the mind will inevitably disown its miscreations which, without belief, will no longer exist.
Interestingly, Jesus calls the period of sorting out the false from the true the Apocalypse. The definition of apocalypse is total destruction and also a revelation of the future. Though Jesus probably wasn’t thinking of Webster’s when he used the term, it feels like both to me. I am totally destroying the way I used to think; what is left is revealing my future.
For a long time now, I have been going through the process of sorting through my thoughts. I look at the thought in my mind, and if it is a thought I would think with God, then I am happy with it and keep it. If it is an ego thought, anything that does not reflect God, I realize I don’t want to keep it, and I ask that my mind be healed. Then I accept the healing because this is what I really want.
Healing the Mind
I have begun to experience the results of this work. I have watched as the wrong-minded thinking, now disowned and no longer existing for me, ceased to have effects in the world of time and space. The miracle is the healing of the mind, and it is an awesome miracle when it happens. Within the world, I see the miracle reflected in the form of peace and happiness and often in the form of a shifting illusion.
Oftentimes, as the mind is healed of a belief, that belief no longer shows up in my world. Sometimes the effect remains in the world but no longer has a negative impact on me. An example of the first occurred when I was working on pain as not being real. The Course says that pain cannot be real, and that began to make sense to me.
My mind believed that pain was real and unavoidable under certain conditions. The one thing I was looking at was that the pain was from driving so much. At first, I did what I have always done. I looked for ways to relieve the pain. First, I tried getting my car seat redone. Then I went to a chiropractor. I tried yoga to relieve the pain without effect. Even pain pills didn’t help and were not a good idea for someone driving. Nothing worked, and the pain just got worse, and I am glad it did.
The Belief in Pain
Because I could not manipulate the effect, I began to question the source, which was my belief about pain. One day I thought I could not continue to do my job, and I talked to the Holy Spirit about it. I said that I didn’t know what to do, but something had to give. I just could not continue to work like this. So, I asked for His help. I thought He would lead me to another job or something like that. Open a door I had not known was there.
He did open a door for me, but it was not from one story in the illusion to another story in the illusion. It was a door leading out of the illusion. I found myself reading Lesson 190, which is about pain. I was drawn to the one sentence that says pain cannot be real, and I started working with that thought. It took me many weeks of looking at the belief in pain with the Holy Spirit, feeling the pain, questioning the belief that sourced the pain, and rejecting it before I began to believe that pain could not possibly be real.
A Defense Against God
I began to realize that I must be making this up as a defense against God. I was using pain as a way to prove separation is real and that God does not love me or maybe doesn’t exist at all. Looking at the idea that I could have pain in my legs, I finally rejected that idea. The pain ceased to exist. It was amazing! I continued doing the same job, still driving hours a day in the same car, but I had no pain. When I asked for help, I thought it would come as a new job, but Holy Spirit gave me a new mind. Sweet!
It is interesting to me that I am willing to let the idea of pain go in many situations, but not in all. This willingness is not always apparent on a conscious level. I don’t say to myself that I will not believe in pain in this situation, but I will believe in it in another. But at some level, I am deciding. I am looking at a thought and deciding if it is real and if I want to keep it.
I have had many opportunities to sort out this idea of pain. It seems to be a process for me that continues. I suppose that it will continue until I make a final decision. Just as I chose to use the leg pain to decide if pain is real, I continue to make the decision about pain using other circumstances. I’ve decided not to judge myself for my apparent indecision and to just be patient with myself as I continue the work. I will do so until my decision is no longer specific and has been generalized.
Power to Choose
Even as I write this, I am given another opportunity to decide if pain is real. Sometimes I scare myself because I know I choose everything in my life. Will I never stop choosing pain and suffering? And yet, I know that the mind that chooses pain is not my real mind. It is the ego mind that wants to continue the story, and that is afraid of God. Through the power of my real mind, I make another choice.
Another problem I had with my work was the extreme conditions I worked under. At times it was very pleasant work, but other times it was much harder. I worked outside most of the time, and the heat was very bad during the summer. As I have gotten older, I notice that the heat affects me more strongly than it did when I was younger, and I was truly miserable. When this happened, the heat index was in excess of 100 degrees, and the humidity was 100%. Sometimes I thought I was going to suffer heat stroke, something that happened to a couple of my customers.
It All Changed
I decided that since I couldn’t do anything about the weather, I should do something about my thoughts about the weather. It occurred to me that this situation was of my own making. As Jesus says, I but do this to myself. I asked the Holy Spirit to purify my thoughts about this, and I looked forward to seeing the solution. Immediately I noticed the change in how I reacted to the situation. I simply didn’t feel upset or miserable.
The heat was still there, and I was still working in it. The difference was that I didn’t react to it. I have continued to remain unaffected by it. Eventually, my job description was changed slightly, and while I still did the work I enjoyed, I was not working in the elements as much as I was before. I didn’t do anything within the story to make this happen. When I change my mind about the purpose of the story, the story often changes as well.
The most wonderful part of this process is that in sorting out my thoughts and letting go of the wrong-minded ones, I am not just feeling less negativity; I am experiencing my true thoughts. I feel loved and loving. I feel happy and also something I don’t know how to describe. It is gratitude, love, and happiness, and yet, just saying those words does not do justice to the feeling. Am I beginning to look with love on my own creations? Or is it a foreshadowing of this? I don’t know, but I’m glad it is happening.
VIII. The Meaning of the Last Judgment, P 5
5 The term “Last Judgment” is frightening not only because it has been projected onto God, but also because of the association of “last” with death. This is an outstanding example of upside-down perception. If the meaning of the Last Judgment is objectively examined, it is quite apparent that it is really the doorway to life. No one who lives in fear is really alive. Your own last judgment cannot be directed toward yourself, because you are not your own creation. You can, however, apply it meaningfully and at any time to everything you have made, and retain in your memory only what is creative and good. This is what your right-mindedness cannot but dictate. The purpose of time is solely to “give you time” to achieve this judgment. It is your own perfect judgment of your own perfect creations. When everything you retain is loveable, there is no reason for fear to remain with you. This is your part in the Atonement.
Guilt and the Desire to Judge
I love this section on the Last Judgment. When I first began the study of the Course, I could not imagine God not judging my behavior. I considered all sorts of variations of the Last Judgment in which God judged me but was merciful, but there was always a judgmental God. I guess this part of Christianity was hard for me to let go of.
Perhaps it was because I felt so guilty that I could not imagine not being judged. And of course, I still found value in judging others, so I would not let go of the idea of judgment. If I hold onto the idea of judgment, I will judge myself and expect to be judged. As Jesus said in the New Testament, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” He understood that if I judged others, it was inevitable that I judge myself as well.
I understand now that the last judgment is the process of looking at all I have made and deciding what is real and worth keeping. I have all the time I need to do this. That is what time is for. As I mentioned, I had an opportunity to look at the idea of pain and suffering (which is one of the things I made up) and decide if this is something I want to keep. I also look at fear and guilt, blame, lack and loss, and attack and defense. I look, and I become willing to believe otherwise. This is my purpose. It is my part in the Atonement.
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