ACIM The Atonement as Defense, P 3, 4. 3 You can defend truth as well as error. 4 The Atonement is the only defense that cannot be used destructively because it is not a device you made.
ACIM The Atonement as Defense, P 3, 4
II. The Atonement as Defense, P 3
3 You can defend truth as well as error. The means are easier to understand after the value of the goal is firmly established. It is a question of what it is for. Everyone defends his treasure, and will do so automatically. The real questions are, what do you treasure, and how much do you treasure it? Once you have learned to consider these questions and to bring them into all your actions, you will have little difficulty in clarifying the means. The means are available whenever you ask. You can, however, save time if you do not protract this step unduly. The correct focus will shorten it immeasurably.
In this paragraph, I am being encouraged to set my goal and give it my attention. This will save time, and that is what I ultimately want to do. In fact, I want to end time. Here is how I am doing this. I began, like most people, just hoping to find a way to live that was not so painful. A Course in Miracles seemed to help me do that.
I discovered through the Course and Course-related books like Inner Healing by Dan Joseph simple but effective ways to watch my mind and allow my perception to be corrected and brought nearer the truth. Then in books like NTI and Teachings of the Inner Ramana, and The Untethered Soul, I learned more about turning away from the chatter of the ego mind.
Defending my Treasure
While this was happening, I made a significant change. I realized that when Jesus talked about defending my treasure, he meant that I would defend the thoughts that mean the most to me. It seems I would have noticed that a lot sooner since he talks about it right here in Chapter 2, but I guess I was not ready to see this for a while. But once I did see it and realized I wanted it, I asked myself what exactly it was that I treasure. And I questioned if my present treasure would get me what I really want.
It was easy to see that I treasured many things that were not bringing me peace. Being right seemed to be more important to me than being happy, even as I said it wasn’t, and even as I saw that it wasn’t working for me. I would defend my right to decide for myself and to make plans on my own. These treasures were not making me happy either. Sometimes I would defend against the ego, but sometimes I would defend against God. It was like shuffling in place, only once in a while taking a step forward.
I saw that I needed a goal, a purpose, something that would be a guiding force in my life. I began to pay special attention to the lessons about my function. In Lesson 63, Jesus says this. How holy are you who have the power to bring peace to every mind! He then says: You are indeed the light of the world with such a function. What is he talking about, this lofty function? He says that it is my forgiveness that does this. And he encourages me to accept no trivial purpose in its place.
A Treasure Worth Defending
When I watch my mind for ego thoughts and ask that they be corrected, and the mind be healed, this is what I am doing. I am remembering that my function is forgiveness. I forgive the beliefs I have held dear, which have hurt me. Initially, this was for Myron so that she would have a happier life, but I soon realized that the purpose is to save the world. Each time I do this, I bring peace to every mind.
This is a treasure worth defending. I defend it by choosing forgiveness every chance I get. Because I have decided on my one goal, which is to awaken from the dream of separation, which is the same thing as forgiving the world I made, it has become easy to choose what I would defend. Now I simply notice if the choice I am considering will bring me closer to my one goal or bring me deeper into the illusion.
How to do the forgiveness work is not something I have ever had to figure out. I choose forgiveness as my one function, and the means are provided, just as Jesus said they would be. As I make that choice, the Holy Spirit places before me everything I need to make it possible. I find, without effort, every book, every teacher, and every inspirational word that will help me. I am directed by the Voice within what to do next, where to go, and what to say.
Ego Objections
An objection the ego has is that forgiving the world one thought at a time doesn’t feel very lofty. The ego doesn’t feel like a superhero. Saving the world seems to the ego like it ought to have more of a pay-off, that being the savior of the world should add to its sense of specialness, and this is not what is happening. In fact, it doesn’t feel like much is happening for long stretches of time, and when it does change, the ego notices a loss of specialness instead of an increase in what it most craves.
Later in the Text, Jesus will help us understand that the ego doesn’t know the difference between pain and pleasure. For instance, the ego thinks that specialness is pleasure when really it is a source of pain. This is why there was confusion for me at first when I thought nothing much was coming from all this work. But I trusted Jesus and kept at it, remembering my one goal, remembering my one function, and I began to have a peace-filled life.
Now I lose my peace at times, but not often and not for long. Now I know that peace is what I want, and I know that nothing else comes close, so the means to regain that peace are available to me as soon as I am ready to return to peace. I also understand that I share one mind with all my brothers, and so as I choose peace for myself, I am choosing it for us all.
II. The Atonement as Defense, P 4
4 The Atonement is the only defense that cannot be used destructively because it is not a device you made. The Atonement principle was in effect long before the Atonement began. The principle was love and the Atonement was an act of love. Acts were not necessary before the separation because belief in space and time did not exist. It was only after the separation that the Atonement and the conditions necessary for its fulfillment were planned. Then a defense so splendid was needed that it could not be misused, although it could be refused. Refusal could not, however, turn it into a weapon of attack, which is the inherent characteristic of other defenses. The Atonement thus becomes the only defense that is not a two-edged sword. It can only heal.
I had a really hard time understanding Atonement as used in the Course. For years I have kept the Glossary Index (by Kenneth Wapnick) nearby so I could look it up again and remind myself of its meaning. The meaning would not stick, and now I know why. It is because, for a long time, I was so conflicted about what I wanted that there were some things in the Course I refused to understand.
Gaining Understanding
Perhaps one of the reasons I had trouble with this explanation, even though it is simple, is that I had so little understanding of love. I still believed in the love concept as it exists in the illusion. Love, from the ego point of view, is, at its best, selfish, unreliable, and conditional, and at its worst, destructive.
Later Jesus speaks of the Atonement as undoing separation, which was the explanation that stuck with me. Now when I read the word Atonement, I automatically substitute the word undoing. But isn’t that love? Isn’t undoing the ego an act of love? It is Love being Itself, transforming what we have done simply through the power of being Its Self.
The next thing he says about Atonement is that it cannot be misused. I cannot use the Atonement to hurt myself or others. I certainly cannot say that about any other defense that I am familiar with. If I defend myself against pain that I perceive as coming from another, my defense will be hurtful in many ways. I will separate myself from that person which is the thing that causes all suffering to begin with. Even if I keep our bodies in contact, in my mind, I have separated us into victim and victimizer, so the harm is done.
Healing a Relationship
The most significant experience I have had with love undoing the ego was with my ex-husband. We had a very contentious relationship, especially at the end, and I was very glad to finally walk away from it. I didn’t feel there was anything else I could do at that time to heal the marriage, and I was tired of suffering through it. But I was stunned to realize that while I could leave him, I could not leave the relationship. Now I understand that all relationships must be healed, and the proximity of the two bodies involved is not important.
While I was still in the process of forgiving myself and him and the relationship, it seemed very hard. But doing this work helped me to see that it was only hard when I tried to do it from the ego mind. The ego was only interested in defense through attack. When I finally surrendered the whole thing to Spirit, Love did its thing, and all the animosity fell away like it was nothing. Which is what it was.
When I was still trying to undo with the ego, it felt very complicated. Guilt confused everything. I would think of something he did or said, and I just wanted to protect myself from ever experiencing that again. Then I would think of something I did or said, and I wanted to be far from him because his presence triggered the memory of my guilty behavior.
Finally, There Was a Shift
There was so much projection in an attempt to protect myself from my feelings of guilt that I could not begin to unravel it all. I spent a lot of time rejecting the Atonement, but my rejection didn’t cause me any harm. Not accepting it prolonged my suffering but did not hurt either of us. This could not be said of my ego defenses, which clearly caused pain for us both.
It all changed, though, when I realized that all I wanted was peace. I wanted to forgive, and I didn’t want anything else. I didn’t want to protect myself or hide anymore, and so I didn’t need him to be my scapegoat. In that moment of surrender, Love cleansed me and purified my mind. I did nothing but say yes.
I don’t know if I will ever, while in this illusory state of mind, truly understand Love, but I have learned to trust it. Maybe it is not about understanding. As it says in the Introduction: ⁶The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. (ACIM, T-in.1:6) I will just have to remove all the blocks until Love shows Itself to me.
To read my article on special relationships, CLICK HERE.