ACIM Chapter 14. III. The Decision for Guiltlessness P 9
Decision for Guiltlessness P 9
Photo by John Gardiner of Whangarei, New Zealand
III. The Decision for Guiltlessness P 9
9. Whenever you choose to make decisions for yourself you are thinking destructively, and the decision will be wrong. ²It will hurt you because of the concept of decision that led to it. ³It is not true that you can make decisions by yourself or for yourself alone. ⁴No thought of God’s Son can be separate or isolated in its effects. ⁵Every decision is made for the whole Sonship, directed in and out, and influencing a constellation larger than anything you ever dreamed of. (ACIM, T-14.III.9:1-5)
I suffered an ego attack last night before I went to bed.
I suddenly felt overwhelmed by what seems to be happening in the world — the sense of conflict, threat, and the feeling that something essential is unraveling. I felt like the very ground on which I stand was crumbling.
I knew this was the ego, and I knew there was another way to perceive, but I was having a hard time pulling my mind free of these thoughts, so I just kept talking to Jesus. I asked for help, for vision that would save me from this darkness within our mind. I was asking to be awakened from the nightmare that I am here, and here is real. And I was answered. Not with words or ideas that explained it all away. I was just lifted from my decision for guilt and was at peace.
I wanted to be at peace, but I also knew that it was important not just for the little me that was suffering. Those thoughts were not private; they were ripples moving through the whole Self, the entire Sonship. Last night, even in my distress, I knew that I didn’t want to add this darkness to our mind. Even though I was not thinking clearly, the desire to protect the mind we all share was still present.
I have to smile this morning as I read this paragraph.
If I had read it last night the ego’s attempt to distract me from the truth would have felt pitiful instead of threatening. But it was helpful in a way that it occurred as it did. Reading this morning that whenever I choose to make decisions for myself, I am thinking destructively, these words have weight they would not have had before.
The mistake is not what I decided; it is the belief that there is a separate decider. The “concept of decision” he refers to is the tiny mad idea: I am on my own and must figure things out from here. That is exactly what happened last night. I have been experiencing the Course at a different level recently. I have felt an elevation in, not so much my understanding, but in a way that is causing a fundamental shift. Perhaps my mind was trying to retreat into the old familiar patterns of thinking – the tiny mad idea playing out again. What mattered was not the thought, but the belief that I was deciding alone.
Now here is my salvation.
It is not true that I can make decisions by myself or for myself alone. Not that I shouldn’t, but that I can’t. Every decision I make affects the one mind. It adds to the light in the mind, or to the darkness. Last night, for a few minutes, I was teaching the whole Sonship that separation is real. When I allowed the Right Mind to decide, I was teaching the entire Sonship truth.
No thought of God’s Son can be separate or isolated in its effects.
There are no private thoughts. All thoughts are our thoughts, and they affect the whole. This is what I want to remember. It is literally salvation.
Every decision is made for the whole Sonship, directed in and out, and influencing a constellation larger than anything you ever dreamed of.
Last night I was not a woman in a room trying to make the best of a difficult world. I was a point of remembrance inside an infinite shared Mind. Each time I pause and let the deeper Wisdom choose — even in the tiniest thing — the universe tilts back toward sanity. Understanding this changes everything. I know I will slip back into ego thinking at times, but now I know something I only vaguely understood before. I am not choosing alone. I am part of a vast Wholeness. I no longer believe I am a fragment struggling in a joyless world —I am a quiet center through which the whole Sonship is gently healed.