ACIM Chapter 13. III. The Fear of Redemption, P 7, 8

ACIM Chapter 13. III. The Fear of Redemption, P 7, 8
III. The Fear of Redemption, P 7
7 And yet he is not crucified. Here is both his pain and his healing, for the Holy Spirit’s vision is merciful and His remedy is quick. Do not hide suffering from His sight, but bring it gladly to Him. Lay before His eternal sanity all your hurt, and let Him heal you. Do not leave any spot of pain hidden from His light, and search your mind carefully for any thoughts you may fear to uncover. For He will heal every little thought you have kept to hurt you and cleanse it of its littleness, restoring it to the magnitude of God.
Oh my gosh! What a wonderful promise this is! For a long time, I have had some thoughts and some memories of past actions that haunted me. When they came up, I told myself that I had nothing to be guilty about, that my perfection was safe and couldn’t be undone, and then I pushed the painful thoughts away. This helped only a little because the thoughts inevitably returned, albeit with less bite, but there they were.
As I read this paragraph, I felt renewed hope. I saw that it was possible to heal these thoughts. I obviously believed that my past had destroyed any hope of a future of peace. I clung to past mistakes as if they were sins that could not be undone, in spite of all the right words I say to myself about healing and perfection. Here is the sentence that restored my faith in complete healing.
For He will heal every little thought you have kept to hurt you and cleanse it of its littleness, restoring it to the magnitude of God.
I had kept those thoughts to hurt myself because I believed I was guilty.
And if I was guilty, I was deserving of punishment. But I could be cleansed of the littleness I clung to with such tenacity. I began to wonder at this. I could be restored to the magnitude of God. Really? The magnitude of God? Could that be true? But though I still had doubts and fears, my heart began to open to his words.
After all, how could I be guilty for something I did when I was young and lost in the ego mind? I realized how little I tried to make myself. What extremes I went to so that I believed in that littleness and became afraid to step out of it. I imagine myself sitting with pen and paper and pulling out all those old guilty thoughts. I would write them down and bring them out of the darkness of my guilt and into the light. Then, I saw myself placing them on the altar and letting them go to God.
I still do this work, but I have discovered a valuable truth that makes the work simple and easy. Just as in forgiveness, we are told to quietly do nothing, to let it be done for us, here we are told that He will heal us. We only need to willingly bring forth every unforgiven thought and give it to Him. He does the rest.
Much has been healed, but of what is left, I will make my list, place it on my altar (the one within), and gladly and thankfully rest in God and allow the healing to occur. I am not guilty and do not deserve punishment. I am as God created me and I am magnificent in God.
III. The Fear of Redemption, P 8
8 Beneath all the grandiosity you hold so dear is your real call for help. For you call for love to your Father as your Father calls you to Himself. In that place which you have hidden, you will only to unite with the Father, in loving remembrance of Him. You will find this place of truth as you see it in your brothers, for though they may deceive themselves, like you they long for the grandeur that is in them. And perceiving it you will welcome it, and it will be yours. For grandeur is the right of God’s Son, and no illusions can satisfy him or save him from what he is. Only his love is real, and he will be content only with his reality.
Love is what I am, and it alone will satisfy me. I will know myself as love when I know my brother as love. These are facts, and I am glad that I know them. It is the foundation of forgiveness, of the Atonement, of my Awakening. I awaken as I awaken my brothers. I accept the Atonement for myself as I accept it for my brothers. I forgive myself as I forgive others. I recognize myself as the love that I am through recognizing it in everyone else. There is no other way.
This also helps me when I see it from the other direction.
If I see guilt in my brothers, I will not see myself as love because I will inevitably see myself as guilty, and love is not guilt. I cannot contain guilt. If I see guilt anywhere, I will see it everywhere. It will not be held restrained, appearing only where I think it should be. This is what I have not wanted to know. I wanted to think that I could justify my judgments and thus keep them away from me. But it doesn’t work like that.
I had a problem with someone, and I wanted to release that grievance. The peace of God is my goal, and I cannot have it for myself if there is anyone I refuse to give it to. I didn’t tell this person anything to cause them a lack of peace or do anything to her. But in my mind, I denied her peace. I blamed her and found her guilty. There is no way I can have peace and blamelessness and guiltlessness if I choose not to give it. It is in giving it that I know it is mine. I do not have what I don’t recognize is mine.
I decided that keeping her guilty was not worth the effort. It was not easy to let go of all the judgments I had against her because I had convinced myself that they were true. I had asked the ego what to believe and then had asked the ego what to do about it. The ego said that my judgments were justified by her behavior. It said that I must defend myself against her. Even if all this took place only in my mind, and never took form, it was still causing effects.
So I asked for a new way to see.
The ego had no new way, and so I had to ask the Holy Spirit to interpret this situation for me. Before I could do that, I was directed to look up close at all the thoughts I believed about this relationship. I was told to look at them honestly, without spiritualizing the situation or hiding my unkindness. So, I did this.
I made a list of every little thing about this person that bothered me in any way. It was ugly, and it was enlightening. What I had seen only as a minor irritation was actually enraging to me. I had no idea. I saw why I was told to do this exercise. Then, I used a form of Ho’oponopono to forgive it. This is what I said:
I’m sorry for my projections onto you, Friend.
Please forgive me for the story I made up in the dream.
I love you as a holy daughter of God. I love me as my holy Self.
And I thank you, Holy Spirit, for the Divine healing of my mind.
This was a wonderful release. All the judgments simply dissolved, and I felt light. I felt like the love that I am. My justifications for holding a grievance and my defenses against her were the out-picturing of my grandiosity. My decision to see it differently by seeing it with God rather than ego was the out-picturing of my magnitude. It was the reflection of God in and through me. I am grateful to be free and to know that I am Love. I’m willing to do this with every dark thought in my mind.
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