ACIM Chapter 13. II. The Guiltless Son of God, P 8, 9

ACIM Chapter 13. II. The Guiltless Son of God, P 8, 9

II. THE GUILTLESS SON OF GOD, P 8

8 The Atonement has always been interpreted as the release from guilt, and this is correct if it is understood. Yet even when I interpret it for you, you may reject it and do not accept it for yourself. You have perhaps recognized the futility of the ego and its offerings, but though you do not want them, you may not yet look upon the alternative with gladness. In the extreme, you are afraid of redemption and you believe it will kill you. Make no mistake about the depth of this fear. For you believe that, in the presence of truth you might turn on yourself and destroy yourself.

Jesus says that we should not mistake the depth of the fear we have of redemption. I am not in touch with that, at least not on the level he is talking about, but I accept that he is right. He says that the Atonement is the release from guilt, and so redemption means that there will be no belief in guilt in my mind. I can have that. It is being offered to me and so all I have to do is accept it. Incredibly, I resist letting go of guilt.

I find myself guilty of a myriad of things.

I let them go when I notice them, but the idea of guilt persists in my mind. And I also find others guilty, and sometimes, I am resistant to letting that go. But if I want to be free, I must let all guilt, whatever form it takes, be removed from my mind. That doesn’t mean I must look at each form, but it does mean I must look at these individual forms of guilt and let them go one at a time until I am fully convinced that guilt is an illusion.

Guilt is such a heavy burden to carry around that it is amazing I have the stamina to make it through the day. In this section on guilt, I have talked about some of the ways guilt finds a stronghold in my mind. This morning, in thinking that someone I know should act differently, I am assigning guilt. And if I don’t forgive this idea about him, I will continue to find fault so that I can justify my failure to forgive. I will gather proof that this person is guilty. And the more I do this, the heavier my burden.

Right before I retired, my workplace situation changed suddenly and radically. I had found myself resisting this change, and the more I resisted it, the angrier I became. This is a form of guilt, this belief that circumstances should not have changed. I am really saying that the world is guilty of making me unhappy. Blaming it on the circumstances was just the beginning. Because blame and guilt were building in my mind, I began to see everything that happened at work through the lens of blame and guilt.

I started seeing my coworkers as enemies instead of helpers.

When someone quit suddenly, one day, I felt betrayed and abandoned. It is funny, really, how I saw his actions not as a positive step for his career but as an affront to me. But this is what happens when we start looking at the world from a place of fear and guilt. All things start to look like attacks, and all our brothers start to look like enemies.

When this particular person resigned, I felt such a strong reaction that I had to go into my office and let myself cry. It was particularly hard because I had let guilt build in me to the point that it was affecting me physically and emotionally. This resignation was like the straw that broke the camel’s back. But it was also the straw that broke the ego’s back, or at least that was so apparently an ego effect that I decided it was time to undo this thinking. So, I began to pull my attention away from the story and look at it as mistaken beliefs in my mind.

Since I was working with the Rules for Decision, I used this wonderful tool to help me. I began by realizing that I felt like I did about Lee’s resignation because of a decision I made. Because of habitual thought patterns, I make decisions continuously and usually don’t even realize I did so. I brought my attention to this particular decision, and asked the Holy Spirit to help me see clearly what happened. I had started the day by deciding to make no decisions on my own, and I had decided with the Holy Spirit that the day would be one in which I would see Christ in everyone. So, what happened?

When I discovered that Lee had resigned, here is what happened.

Without even realizing I had done it, I asked the ego to interpret this situation for me. We always ask either the ego or the Holy Spirit to help us with our decisions, and this time, I asked the ego. This is not really surprising since I had been so embroiled in the belief in guilt, which always causes fear. My ego advised me that Lee quitting was an attack on me, just another example of how unfairly life was treating me.

I asked the ego what the situation meant, and since I was already looking for proof of guilt, I bought into the ego’s interpretation. Jesus tells us in the Rules for Decision that this is our major problem now. We still make up our minds and then decide what we should do. Here is why this is such a big problem. Once I decided (with ego) that my problem was being abandoned and betrayed, I was expecting an answer to the problem as I then saw it.

Holy Spirit is not going to answer that problem because he knows I cannot be abandoned and betrayed. He knows that no one is guilty because guilt is an illusion. Since He is not going to answer the problem as I see it, His answer is not going to satisfy me. In fact, it made me feel attacked and angry. It was as if the Holy Spirit was also abandoning and betraying me. In order to free myself of this misery I was in, I had to correct my thinking.

So, I started the process as Jesus instructed.

I reminded myself of the day I wanted when I began my morning. This anger and upset was not part of the plan. So, I realized I must have asked a question by myself (that is, with ego), and I must have set an answer in my terms.  I canceled all that out when I said I had no questions. I forgot what to decide. This meant that when I asked what this means, I had forgotten to decide with the Holy Spirit. So, cancel, cancel. ~smile~

Because I had waited too long to do this, I had already gotten angry and afraid of a different version, a different question, a different answer. So, I had to go through the rest of the steps. I next realized that at least I could decide that I didn’t like how I felt. And man, was that the truth! Just thinking about how I felt made me so sorry for myself that I cried again. So, I admitted that I hoped I had been wrong.

Now that I had gone this far, I began to feel hopeful. I wasn’t having any change forced on me; I was choosing a change. This change was my idea and was going to help me. This bit of wisdom helped me to take the next step. I could honestly say that I wanted another way to look at this. Now that I had changed my mind about the day and remembered what I really wanted, I felt better and ready to take the final step.

I said: Perhaps there is another way to look at this.

What can I lose by asking? I was so relieved by this time that I felt like I was coming into the light out of a dark and gloomy day. Thus, I was very ready to ask. I let my mind rest in God for a moment to clear it of any residual upset, and then I turned it all around. In deciding with God, instead of the ego, I felt such love and appreciation for Lee that I wanted only what was best for him. He had been such a good help to me for a long time. I thought how lucky I was to have worked with him for all these years and so gotten to know and admire him.

Another thought that my Adviser gave me was that I was mistaken in my belief that I needed Lee to stay. This reminded me of The Work by Byron Katie, and so my mind went immediately to the four questions and the turnaround. I had thought that I needed Lee to stay. I turned this around to realize that I did not need him to stay. Another turnaround was that I needed him to leave. The Holy Spirit showed me how both these turnarounds are true. 

With a clear mind, I was back on track to the day I decided on.

And my mind was freer of guilt than it had been before. Each time I do this, I experience some transfer of learning, and I will continue to undo the guilt in my mind until that transfer of learning is complete and I no longer believe in guilt.

This healing process of Rules for Decision is like a condensed version of all the processes of A Course in Miracles. I highly recommend a deep study of this. It has benefited me so much. You will find it in Chapter 30.

II. THE GUILTLESS SON OF GOD, P 9

9 Little child, this is not so. Your “guilty secret” is nothing, and if you will but bring it to the light, the light will dispel it. And then no dark cloud will remain between you and the remembrance of your Father, for you will remember His guiltless Son, who did not die because he is immortal. And you will see that you were redeemed with him, and have never been separated from him. In this understanding lies your remembering, for it is the recognition of love without fear. There will be great joy in Heaven on your homecoming, and the joy will be yours. For the redeemed son of man is the guiltless Son of God, and to recognize him is your redemption.

This “guilty secret,” the belief that I have undone the holiness of the Son of God, is nothing. It is not real and could never be real. It leads to an even greater fear. If I have made His Son into something He is not, then I must have undone God in order for this to happen. This is the source of all guilt, I think. But it does not seem that I can forgive this of myself, at least not yet. So, I work my way toward complete forgiveness and the remembrance of Heaven by forgiving guilt where I see it in my life.

I have had so many opportunities to do this in the last few weeks.

It seems that I am being bombarded with opportunities, but really, it is simply the answer to the prayer that I awaken. When I remember the purpose of all these stories, then I feel calm and simply do what I came to do. But when I get embroiled in the stories, I forget their purpose, and I start to feel overcome and emotional. This makes the process harder and more unpleasant.

I am using the Rules for Decision right now as the process that is very helpful in doing the forgiveness work and also helps me avoid some of the discomfort I would otherwise feel. Having used this process every day for over a month now, some things are becoming clear to me. The main thing I now understand is that there is only one reason I suffer. It is because I asked the ego to help me understand what is happening and what it is for. As soon as I change my mind about this and ask the Holy Spirit instead, I return to peace, and the peace of God is everything I want.

Because I have achieved some degree of peace through consistent forgiveness, when I hold a grievance and see anyone as guilty, it is very distressing. That sudden and abrupt loss of peace is jarring, and if I hold onto it, it is painful. So, I continue to bring my dark thoughts to the light and allow them to be dispelled. I want to remember God.

I want to remember something.

In choosing to experience separation, I did not kill the Son of God. He is immortal. He is me. I am immortal and I will remember this when I let go of the belief in guilt. As I choose to see my brother’s innocence, I will see my own, and then I will know I am one with him and with God. That’s the way it works. So, holding a grievance is both foolish and painful and completely unnecessary. A Course in Miracles has given me methods and practices that help me to return to sanity. I intend to make good use of them.

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