ACIM Chapter 12. VII.  Looking Within, P 9-11

ACIM Chapter 12. VII. Looking Within, P 9-11

VII. Looking Within, P 9

⁹ The power of decision is your one remaining freedom as a prisoner of this world. You can decide to see it right. What you made of it is not its reality, for its reality is only what you give it. You cannot really give anything but love to anyone or anything, nor can you really receive anything but love from them. If you think you have received anything else, it is because you have looked within and thought you saw the power to give something else within yourself. It was only this decision that determined what you found, for it was the decision for what you sought.

Jesus is telling me that there is only love in me and so that is all I can give. Then why is it that sometimes what I give is not love? It can only be that I looked within and saw something else, and since nothing else is there, I made a decision, a deliberate decision to see what was not there. I decided I wanted to see something else and then looked within and found that.

When I was married, I would often see my husband as guilty.

I would say things to him or react to him as if he were guilty. If I am only love and have only love to give, where did the guilt come from? I chose guilt. I chose to feel guilty, and I chose to find others guilty. The decision came first, and then I looked within and found it.

How funny that I used to think that I found him guilty because of his actions, that is, because he really was guilty. I could list all my justifications for his guilt and would defend my belief he was guilty to anyone who would listen. How funny that I found guilt everywhere I looked and never considered that the guilt was coming from my own mind and that it wasn’t even true there. It was being generated by a false idea that I chose to believe.

Here is what happens.

I find myself in a situation, and I ask for advice about how to see it. There are only two advisors in my mind: the Holy Spirit and ego. An example of this would be when I found my husband guilty. The ego told me that I was being attacked and that I must defend myself, and he was the one guilty of putting me in this position. The ego has now defined the problem and warned me that I need to take action in my own defense. With the situation thus defined, the ego’s solution seems sensible.

If I stop and choose the Holy Spirit as my advisor, He will show me the innocence in the situation. He will show me the one problem: we think we are separated from Love. And He will show me that this problem has already been solved. He will show me that as a creation of love, there is only love in me and only love in this man in spite of the apparent circumstances. There is nothing to give now except love.

When I was married to him, I became so confused that I really believed in his guilt. It seemed perfectly natural, if really unpleasant, to live like that. I thought he was the problem, and the solution was to get rid of him. All along, the problem, being in my own mind, followed me everywhere I went, so divorce solved nothing. I look back on that time and wonder how I could stand to live like that. I am not completely free of my confusion, but every day, I let more of it go by deciding for God rather than ego as my advisor.

VII. Looking Within, P 10

¹⁰ You are afraid of me because you looked within and are afraid of what you saw. Yet you could not have seen reality, for the reality of your mind is the loveliest of God’s creations. Coming only from God, its power and grandeur could only bring you peace if you really looked upon it. If you are afraid, it is because you saw something that is not there. Yet in that same place you could have looked upon me and all your brothers, in the perfect safety of the Mind which created us. For we are there in the peace of the Father, Who wills to extend His peace through you.

I cried and cried when I read this. It is so beautiful. Could this be what we are? Oh, to look within and see only what is there! I am setting this as my intention today. Father, I am looking within today, and I intend to see what is really there. I will place on the altar everything that is not me and be left with only what is real.

It is my intention to be completely open to Spirit, to be an open and clear channel through which the peace of the Father flows through me to everyone I meet. I will do nothing but allow it. I will not interfere. This morning, I began as usual by surrendering myself to God. I then began my rules for happiness process.

I reminded myself that I would make no decisions on my own.

It is my intention to get all my advice from Spirit rather than ego. Then I decided what kind of day I would have.

I will love everyone I see and know that they love me.

I will feel the joy of being.

As I will accept all things as they are, I will be serene and still.

 I will be the channel for peace without regard for circumstances.

This is the day I will have if I make no decisions on my own.

VII. Looking Within, P 11

¹¹ When you have accepted your mission to extend peace you will find peace, for by making it manifest you will see it. Its holy witnesses will surround you because you called upon them, and they will come to you. I have heard your call and I have answered it, but you will not look upon me nor hear the answer that you sought. That is because you do not yet want only that. Yet as I become more real to you, you will learn that you do want only that. And you will see me as you look within, and we will look upon the real world together. Through the eyes of Christ, only the real world exists and only the real world can be seen. As you decide so will you see. And all that you see but witnesses to your decision.

As I decide that the peace of God is all that I want, I am also accepting my mission to extend peace. Then, as I extend peace more and more often, I also increase my peace. It increases because as I see it manifested, I believe in it and want it. Why am I not doing this all the time?

Why is it that I don’t hear His answer when I am the one who sought it? It is because it is not yet all that I want. Sometimes I want to be right. Sometimes, I become afraid of the dark thoughts in my mind, and I want to project guilt. Sometimes, I become defensive. I cannot have any of these things and have peace. Peace must be all that I want, to always have peace.

Here is something I had to sit with.

“Yet as I become more real to you, you will learn that you do want only that. And you will see me as you look within, and we will look upon the real world together.” This is one of the passages that brings tears to my eyes, even though I don’t completely understand it. I cannot truly understand it because I have not fully accepted it. I still sometimes pretend that what I see with the body’s eyes is reality, and so I do not always see with Christ’s Vision.

I love Jesus so much that I long to see him within me, see him with me, and see us as part of the same Family of God. So, I pay close attention to the world I see. If it is not a joyous and peaceful world, I know that it is not the real world. I know that I have lost sight of the truth. So, I make a new decision, a decision for God. And the decision for God becomes manifest in my life.

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