ACIM Chapter 12. III. The Investment in Reality,5-7

ACIM Chapter 12. III. The Investment in Reality,5-7

III. The Investment in Reality, P 5

5 Salvation is for the mind, and it is attained through peace. This is the only thing that can be saved and the only way to save it. Any response other than love arises from a confusion about the “what” and the “how” of salvation, and this is the only answer. Never lose sight of this, and never allow yourself to believe, even for an instant, that there is another answer. For you will surely place yourself among the poor, who do not understand that they dwell in abundance and that salvation is come.

My screensaver says this: ²The peace of God is everything I want. ³The peace of God is my one goal; the aim of all my living here, the end I seek, my purpose and my function and my life, while I abide where I am not at home. (ACIM, W-205.1:2-3) The peace of God is my mantra now. It is the words I turn to when my mind becomes confused about what is wanted and needed. It is a simple declaration of intent and the only prayer I need.

When the idea of retirement was approaching, this was several years ago. The ego began sending messages of doom and gloom. It would appear as thoughts like, “I won’t be able to afford this when I retire,” and “What if I get sick and need expensive medicine?” It came up with many little concerns, chipping away at my happiness when I listened to them.

My response was usually that the peace of God is everything I want.

Do I want to get my hair done at the stylish shop where I go now? Or is the peace of God everything I want? How about the medicine scare tactic? Maybe I will need some new, very expensive medicine, and I won’t be able to afford it. If I need something, it will be available; if it is not, I don’t need it, the other Voice tells me. The peace of God is everything you need, it says.

Here is something interesting that happened when I was married to my first husband. He had a good job with excellent insurance. All doctor’s visits were fully reimbursed. I spent a lot of time at the doctor’s office with one little thing after another. I never thought much about it. Then, when we were divorced, I didn’t have a job with good insurance. I didn’t go to the doctor often. Both ways, I seemed to be okay. I just couldn’t afford to be sick without insurance, so I wasn’t. There was a good lesson in that.

Anyway, I really believe that the peace of God is everything I want, and when I get confused about that, I return to my mantra, and the fear falls away. The words aren’t magic, but the belief that this is really everything I want fills my mind and there is no room for fear, nor any desire for it. When I get tired of peace and decide I want a little drama, I “forget” my mantra. I have to because otherwise, the drama can’t get a foothold. But always, I return to my senses and I remember what it is that I truly want.

These days, I seldom fall into that story of lack, and when I do, I move out of it quickly.

What I understand now that I didn’t before is that this life of Myron isn’t about my income. It isn’t about how this body looks or even how it feels. It is about my interpersonal relationships. Do I treat everyone as part of the Sonship, a soul doing their best to get along in this strange and sometimes painful illusion? If I pay attention to my thoughts and feelings, and if I forgive the beliefs that are not true, I am enriching us all.

III. The Investment in Reality, P 6

6 To identify with the ego is to attack yourself and make yourself poor. That is why everyone who identifies with the ego feels deprived. What he experiences then is depression or anger, because what he did was to exchange Self-love for self-hate, making him afraid of himself. He does not realize this. Even if he is fully aware of anxiety he does not perceive its source as his own ego identification, and he always tries to handle it by making some sort of insane “arrangement” with the world. He always perceives this world as outside himself, for this is crucial to his adjustment. He does not realize that he makes this world, for there is no world outside of him.

I have become very aware of this split in my mind. I sometimes identify with my true self, and when I do, I see the world as perfect. No matter what seems to be happening, I see it as perfect. I am happy and at peace, and what is happening around me has nothing to do with that state of mind. It does not encourage or discourage it. At those times, I am experiencing my mind, and it is a lovely thing to experience.

Other times, I identify with the ego mind.

When that happens, it seems to me that the world is frightening. I see people filled with terror and rage, and they seem to be all around me, a threat to me that must be defended against. I feel confused and depressed. This is true no matter what is actually happening in the world. Whatever is going on is perceived as a threat, and everyone as my enemy. At those times, I am experiencing my mind, and it is a dark place. This doesn’t happen much anymore, and when it does, I know what to do about it.

And even when I slip into a dark dream, the darkness is not so dark as it used to be. And even in the dark, I perceive the light and move toward it. This was not always so. I used to live in that dark place a lot. When that was true, I was always at war with someone or something, or I was self-medicating to dull the effects such a world induced in me. I used relationships in an effort to gain some kind of relief, or at least so I would have someone to suffer with me. These were some of the arrangements I made with the world in an effort to survive it.

Now, I understand that there was never anything out there, no world at all.

It was, and still is, only in my mind. While I can still occasionally be drawn back into the illusion of a world outside myself, I cannot be lost in it now. I know too much to go back. I also know how to find my way out of the dark. It is my mind and I can allow the light to shine away the darkness. I simply choose light. Who would have thought it was so simple?

Yet, it still feels difficult at times.

This is even knowing that the answer is always the same because the problem is always the same. I only have to accept the Atonement for the false thoughts that are making the world (my mind) seem dark. When I fail to do that, it is because I still imagine I need to be the “me” I made through the ego.

When I resist the light, it is because I imagine I am guilty and need the darkness in which to hide. If I resist the joy and the peace of reality, it is because I don’t feel worthy of it. I believe in the world I imagine and am afraid of what I have done. At those times, I find it intolerable to accept responsibility, and so I pretend it is outside me and I am the victim. Those are all untrue beliefs and I can be free of them simply by deciding I want the peace of God instead.

I thank God every day for A Course in Miracles. It helped me accept my innocence and taught me to accept the Atonement for the ego thoughts in my mind. As I do so, my innocence is revealed, and I am able to accept responsibility for what I made, knowing that it is nothing. I remain as God created me. My mind is perfectly protected and completely unassailable.

III. The Investment in Reality, P 7

7 If only the loving thoughts of God’s Son are the world’s reality, the real world must be in his mind. His insane thoughts, too, must be in his mind, but an internal conflict of this magnitude he cannot tolerate. A split mind is endangered, and the recognition that it encompasses completely opposed thoughts within itself is intolerable. Therefore the mind projects the split, not the reality. Everything you perceive as the outside world is merely your attempt to maintain your ego identification, for everyone believes that identification is salvation. Yet consider what has happened, for thoughts do have consequences to the thinker. You have become at odds with the world as you perceive it, because you think it is antagonistic to you. This is a necessary consequence of what you have done. You have projected outward what is antagonistic to what is inward, and therefore you would have to perceive it this way. That is why you must realize that your hatred is in your mind and not outside it before you can get rid of it; and why you must get rid of it before you can perceive the world as it really is.

Jesus has done a really good job of explaining how we made this world as it is.

To recap, the mind is split because it believes two opposing thought systems. The mind finds this intolerable and so projects the split. We have projected what we hate and what feels hostile to reality, and so the projected world we experience is hostile.

In the meantime, reality remains in the mind, but we are so intent on our projection, so involved with it, that we have become identified as it. We have lost touch with our real minds because all our attention is on maintaining our projection. A Course in Miracles is helping us to remember that the hatred and the danger we perceive are not really out there. It is in our mind and this is where it must be relinquished if we want to see the real world.

I find Lesson 35 very helpful for this purpose as it reminds us of our true selves.

Our mind is part of God’s. We are very holy. As I remind myself of this today, I am choosing to relinquish attack on an outside force that doesn’t really exist outside the mind. Instead, I am choosing to accept my true nature, the real me.

For instance, there is someone in my life who seems to be hateful to others a lot of the time. Interestingly enough, she thinks I hate her. This makes sense in light of what Jesus is explaining here. She is projecting hatefulness from the mind, seeing it in others, and then experiencing it projected back onto her.

I told her I did not hate her, but it felt wrong in my own ears.

Yet I knew I didn’t. I actually appreciate her in spite of my frustration with her. What has actually happened is that what I see when I look at her is the split mind, the part of the mind I hate. I don’t hate her or her actions; I hate that part of my mind.

So now I know what to do with this confusion in my mind. Using this lesson, I am withdrawing my projections onto her and choosing to focus on the truth in us both. I think I hate, but my mind is part of God’s. I am very holy. But I don’t feel holy; I feel hateful and guilty for being hateful, but this can only be the split mind, and I am tired of defending it. Instead, I am going to let it go.