ACIM Chapter 11. VI. Waking to Redemption P 5-7

ACIM Chapter 11. VI. Waking to Redemption P 5-7

VI. Waking to Redemption P 5

⁵ Do not underestimate the power of the devotion of God’s Son, nor the power the god he worships has over him. For he places himself at the altar of his god, whether it be the god he made or the God Who created him. That is why his slavery is as complete as his freedom, for he will obey only the god he accepts. The god of crucifixion demands that he crucify, and his worshippers obey. In his name they crucify themselves, believing that the power of the Son of God is born of sacrifice and pain. The God of resurrection demands nothing, for He does not will to take away. He does not require obedience, for obedience implies submission. He would only have you learn your will and follow it, not in the spirit of sacrifice and submission, but in the gladness of freedom.

Jesus is helping me to understand why it is that I am so attracted to guilt and fear, even though it is obviously painful for me and clearly not necessary. It is because I have made the ego my god, and I worship at its altar. My devotion is powerful and so my slavery is as complete as my freedom. It is crazy. I hurt myself through my decision to be hurt.

And I can stop it by simply making a different decision.

I can worship my creator instead of the false God I made to take His place. That is all that is required for me to get down off this cross and live in freedom. I do understand this. It is the reason I have chosen surrender as my path to God. I feel drawn to surrender even though it is not my natural inclination, at least in the world.

I have spent my life working hard to become independent. Even in my study of the Course, I have focused on letting go of the idea of victimization, and sometimes for the wrong reason, I think. Only recently have I accepted the idea that victimization is impossible. I am the maker of all things in my world, so how could I be a victim of anything? At first, though, I just wanted to be successful at being independent and strong.

As I let go of more false beliefs, I have more clarity.

It is not something I earned. It is simply the effect of allowing my mind to be cleared of all that obstructed the truth. I am learning that I don’t know what anything means. I am coming to value the “I don’t know” mind. What a strange thing it is that the less I claim, the more I have.

The more dependent I become on my Father, the freer I am. I thought dependence was a loss, but I was wrong. Losing ego independence was not a sacrifice. It cost me nothing and gave me everything that I have so far been willing to accept. I am slowly coming to the realization that the self-will I used to treasure above all else doesn’t even truly exist. Being part of God, I share His Will. How could that be a sacrifice?

VI. Waking to Redemption, P 6

⁶ Resurrection must compel your allegiance gladly, because it is the symbol of joy. Its whole compelling power lies in the fact that it represents what you want to be. The freedom to leave behind everything that hurts you and humbles you and frightens you cannot be thrust upon you, but it can be offered you through the grace of God. And you can accept it by His grace, for God is gracious to His Son, accepting him without question as His Own. Who, then, is your own? The Father has given you all that is His, and He Himself is yours with them. Guard them in their resurrection, for otherwise you will not awake in God, safely surrounded by what is yours forever.

God created us and so knows us. He is never mistaken in us, never doubts us, never condemns us. He knows us as part of Himself and so perfect and whole. Everything that frightens us is in our imagination. Freedom is ours as soon as that is what we want without exception. We long to free ourselves of nothing that we are convinced is something. We long to disentangle ourselves from a dream.

Our part is very simple.

As far as I can tell, the only thing that is required of us is that we fully and wholly desire to awaken and reality will show itself to us. Because we have scared ourselves so badly with what we made, wanting to awaken is not something we come to without help. We must look at what keeps us in the dream and choose against it.

It seems to me that A Course in Miracles was inserted into the dream to help us do this. It points out what is really happening. The Course gives us the tools to see clearly and make new choices. It comforts and reassures. It reminds us of what we have forgotten, and points to our Guide and Helper, so we will be able to break the spell of illusion we have woven.

Because this is a dream of separation, we must learn to see wholeness again. I would think that in order to believe I am separate from my brothers, I had to make them my enemy. Otherwise, my deep love for them would bind me so tightly to them that I could not convince myself they were not part of me. Now, I must be willing to let that spell be broken. The Course is helping me to do that.

So, this is what I do all the time now.

Because if nothing else, I have remembered enough that I want to remember it all. I want to leave behind this absurd idea and return my mind to its natural state of blissful existence in God. I want to remember my love for my brothers, rather than reject them. So, I pay attention to my mistaken thoughts and beliefs, and I give all the willingness I have to allow them to be corrected.

This shows up in my life as anger, fear, and guilt projected as all these little dramas and petty attacks. It shows up as the belief I must defend myself against even those I claim to love. A Course in Miracles has helped me to see that all of this is just the natural effect of believing something that is not true. This is so that it can be undone as I question the validity of the thoughts that made it. And then, through the grace of God, I let them be undone.

I don’t have to atone for my sins because nothing has happened. God loves me, and I love Him. I belong to God, and He belongs to me. What could a dream of something else mean to me? I am here, God. Please wake me up.

VI. Waking to Redemption, P 7

⁷ You will not find peace until you have removed the nails from the hands of God’s Son, and taken the last thorn from his forehead. The Love of God surrounds His Son whom the god of crucifixion condemns. Teach not that I died in vain. Teach rather that I did not die by demonstrating that I live in you. For the undoing of the crucifixion of God’s Son is the work of the redemption, in which everyone has a part of equal value. God does not judge His guiltless Son. Having given Himself to him, how could it be otherwise?

How do I remove the nails from the hands of God’s Son? When I feel guilty for something I said or did, past or present, I remember that I am redeemed. I am forgiven. In this way, I am teaching innocence to myself, and undoing the crucifixion. It is the same when I make someone else guilty. I undo the crucifixion of the Son the moment I realize what I have done and ask for healing.

I have had the experience, as I expect everyone else has had, of being reluctant to forgive. It seems that it is myself I crucify the most often and myself that I resist forgiving. It makes no difference if it is myself or someone else; in my refusal to forgive, I am condemning the Son of God. Either way, myself or someone else, I am teaching guilt, learning guilt, and blinding myself to innocence.

If I tell myself I want to forgive but just can’t, I am dishonest.

The resistance to forgiveness is the desire to judge, to hold a grievance, and to remain in the illusion of separation. It is a decision I make, a choice. When I am ready to be happy, I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind and to show me another way to see this.

The more often I accept the Atonement for my judgments and release my grievances, the less I am able to tolerate the effects. I want the ease, the lightness, and the joy of forgiving and knowing myself as forgiven. It makes me laugh sometimes when I realize that I am crucifying myself. I remember hearing Dolly Parton remark about someone doing this to himself. She said, “Get down off the cross. We need the wood.” Ha ha.

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