ACIM Chapter 11. V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 14, 15
V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 14
14 The ego’s interpretation of the laws of perception are, and would have to be, the exact opposite of the Holy Spirit’s. The ego focuses on error and overlooks truth. It makes real every mistake it perceives, and with characteristically circular reasoning concludes that because of the mistake consistent truth must be meaningless. The next step, then, is obvious. If consistent truth is meaningless, inconsistency must be true. Holding error clearly in mind, and protecting what it has made real, the ego proceeds to the next step in its thought system: Error is real and truth is error.
The ego focuses on error and overlooks truth. As soon as I read this sentence, I saw how true this is, and I saw that the ego then makes the error real. It reminded me of something that happened while I was still working. In this situation, I was able to witness the ego in my mind but also to make a better choice.
Here is how it played out.
I got a call from an angry customer this morning. He had asked for a repair, and the repair didn’t work. In fact, this is his third time to call about the same repair. What I did was call the repairman and tell him what happened. I told him it must be done and done right, and everything cleaned up. And I was very firm about this.
I did what I needed to do to get the problem solved. It should have been over at that point, but what happened is that the ego felt aggrieved and felt like anger was called for. It had stories to justify its position on this. The ego overlooked the truth that everyone involved is innocent and that there was a mistake to be corrected and that was all. Instead, it made the error real, insisting that it should never have happened and that the repairman was guilty of doing a shoddy job and, therefore, that my anger was justifiable. Now, in my mind, the truth is not true and to maintain my justification, I have made and insisted that the error is truth.
I would have stuck with my story at one time, but not this time.
Immediately, I turned to the Holy Spirit for His interpretation of the situation. I saw a problem; I took care of the problem, and it’s over. There is no need for guilt or anger. Everyone is innocent, and this is true in every case, no matter what happened. In the world, mistakes are made, but in reality, nothing has happened, and God’s creation remains as it was created.
Even so, I notice how intent the ego mind is on finding the guilty party and how it loves its righteous anger. But this time, I am not going to join the ego. I see the temptation; I understand it, but I am not interested. I see that the urge to be angry is just a reaction to fear. There is fear of losing a customer and fear of not making the right choice, of having to take on the role of “boss” as I speak to the repairman and not feeling qualified for that role. There is the fear of being judged harshly by the repairman. The fear he and others will see in me the same error I see in them. I give all this to Spirit and let it stay there.
It is not my goal to be the best salesperson or to keep customers. It is not my goal to look good in someone’s eyes, to earn their respect or their acceptance. My goal is not to be the boss or avoid that responsibility. It is my goal to watch my mind, ask for and accept healing, and see Christ’s face in everyone, including me. I need only be open to that to want it. I am doing that to the best of my ability, and the Holy Spirit is doing His part, so it is done.
V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 15
15 The ego makes no attempt to understand this, and it is clearly not understandable, but the ego does make every attempt to demonstrate it, and this it does constantly. Analyzing to attack meaning, the ego succeeds in overlooking it and is left with a series of fragmented perceptions which it unifies on behalf of itself. This, then, becomes the universe it perceives. And it is this universe which, in turn, becomes its demonstration of its own reality.
I have been allowing my mind to see the ego attack on meaning in a larger sense.
I looked at how it works at those times I am sick, and those times I am upset with others. And I was thinking about relationships that have suffered this ego attack and fear of lack and loss. But really, all of those categories are just more ego attack on wholeness.
It is the ego saying that a threatened relationship is different from when my income is threatened. So, I see all these different forms of separation and the different stories around each form. The ego separates things until they are unrecognizable. What seems to help is becoming willing to see the sameness in all things. Then, the Holy Spirit can heal my mind of this insane fragmentation.
If I am caught up in the story, I will see only separation, and I will see part of a story and focus only on the part that interests me. I will see things through the filter of my beliefs so that what I see will be different than what someone else sees. I then wonder how it is that the other person could be so wrong when I find the “truth” so obvious. The level of confusion is so profound that I cannot find my way out alone. I need help.
When I ask the Holy Spirit for help with any perceived problem, He starts with me where I think I am.
And then He sends me thoughts that lead me out of the story and toward truth. No matter what the story or what emotion the story elicits, it is never about that story. It is always about the belief that sourced the story and then projected it into the world. So, He brings me to that belief, and then I have the choice of keeping it or letting it go. If I don’t see the value in keeping it, the belief is removed from my mind.
Sometimes, I have to go through the process a number of times until I finally decide that I don’t want it anymore. The point here is that the story I am experiencing is just a reflection of wrong-minded thinking. It is an idea, and that is all. It is either a true idea or a false idea. The false idea doesn’t exist because God did not create it. So, there is only a true idea. Wow! Look how the Holy Spirit undid the complicated and shattered meaning the ego tries to demonstrate and brings us to the simple unified truth. Everything is an idea, and only true ideas exist. Like it says at the beginning of the Course:
Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
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