ACIM Chapter 10. III. The God of Sickness, P 8, 9

ACIM Chapter 10. III. The God of Sickness, P 8, 9

III. The God of Sickness, P 8

8 I do not bring God’s message with deception, and you will learn this as you learn that you always receive as much as you accept. You could accept peace now for everyone, and offer them perfect freedom from all illusions because you heard His Voice. But have no other gods before Him or you will not hear. God is not jealous of the gods you make, but you are. You would save them and serve them, because you believe that they made you. You think they are your father, because you are projecting onto them the fearful fact that you made them to replace God. Yet when they seem to speak to you, remember that nothing can replace God, and whatever replacements you have attempted are nothing.

My replacements, the gods I made to replace my true Father:

The body

Sickness

Lack and Loss

Fear and guilt

These are the gods I worship daily, less than I used to, but still.

Jesus brought us the message that these gods have no power other than what we give them and that we can be saved from them simply by desiring only that. We will be healed of the sickness in our minds, but we will receive only and exactly what we are willing to accept. I have learned compassion as I realized that we are all fighting a hard battle every single day. But I have also learned that it is a battle against nothing. I fight my own imaginary self. This is insanity, and Jesus has brought us the cure.

Being in the hospital used to emphasize the body identity.

When I was in the hospital for tests, I got caught up in the whole atmosphere of saving the body, and so the body became very important to me, the center of my attention. I felt frail and vulnerable because the body is frail and vulnerable. This is what happens when we identify with the body. We think we are what the body is. Feeling frail and vulnerable, I felt fear. And actually, nothing was happening. I was fine. I was no different than I was the day before I had the strange symptoms that led up to the hospital stay.

When I made the decision to turn away from this kind of thinking, the ego tried to draw me back and still does. But what is the ego? This is not a power outside myself, this ego. It is simply a name I give my desire to remain separate from God. I am battling nothing but my own conflicted desires. There is no power outside the power of God, which is also my power.

I choose to stop using my own power to keep me in hell.

Every time I notice the desire to feel afraid of what happens to the body, I remind myself that the body is a false god, and I choose not to worship it. This is what I do with all my false gods. I remind myself that Jesus offered to heal me, and all that I need to do to receive that healing is to accept it. I have made of myself a little thing of no value, but Jesus knows my value, and he will restore that knowledge in my mind as well. Then, I only need to accept this healing.

With more healing of mind, I had a very different experience of a hospital visit. This time, I wound up in the emergency room and on to surgery. Before, I was getting tests done and was caught up in the story of the body and what that meant to me and about me. This time, the problem in the body was real and urgent, but I wasn’t afraid and I didn’t relate to the body as who I was. When it was time for me to leave, the head nurse came to my room to tell me that they were all impressed with how quickly I recovered. A healed mind gave me a very different experience than any I had before. Maybe Jesus knows what he’s talking about. ~smile~

III. The God of Sickness, P 9

9 Very simply, then, you may believe you are afraid of nothingness, but you are really afraid of nothing. And in that awareness you are healed. You will hear the god you listen to. You made the god of sickness, and by making him you made yourself able to hear him. Yet you did not create him, because he is not the Will of the Father. He is therefore not eternal and will be unmade for you the instant you signify your willingness to accept only the eternal.

I used to feel fear when I thought of being not me, that is, when I thought of surrendering to God my little self. I don’t feel that so much anymore. More and more, I have come to believe in a Self that I don’t remember but must certainly be. I can’t really imagine what it is like to be that Self, but I do believe It exists and that I want to remember. Will there be anything left of me? That, of course, is the ego talking. The ego wants to know it will still exist, and that is a non-question because, in reality, the ego never existed. So, I can not be the ego since I do exist.

I, the essence of what I am, exist and will always exist. And I have not changed since my creation and will never change. I am as God created me and nothing is added to that, nor taken from that. This is the reason I am innocent. It is the reason I am saved. I was never endangered. I am the Son of God and part of God and in God. What could endanger me?

But now I must use these stories to awaken.

My job here is to usher in the happy dream, and as I remember that what I see here is not reality and that I am safe, I can more easily accept the Atonement. I can forgive and remember my brother is part of me, and learn to hear Spirit more clearly than I hear ego. And I can learn to laugh at the idea of guilt and fear, at suffering and death.

I do all this through the practices given to me by Jesus in the Course and other sources. First, I pay attention to my thoughts and feelings. I notice when they are not in alignment with the truth, and I allow the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. When I am sick or afraid, I remember that this is my story and that no one or nothing is to blame. Then, I ask for healing of the mind that chose this story.

It has all become so simple and yet sometimes still seems hard. Every time it feels hard I realize that I am attached to a story, that I seem to find value in some grievance I am holding onto. Or maybe it is because I temporarily forget that I don’t believe in guilt anymore, and something I said or did causes me to fall into that pit of despair. Then I have to crawl out of it, at least enough that I can remember I have help, and then as I turn to that Light, I am lifted out.

Always though, sooner or later, this changes.

I remember that I was suffering because I believed the story and thought I had to find a solution for the story. Then, I turn from the story and ask that my mind be healed. I wait in certainty, knowing that the Holy Spirit responds to my slightest call for help. That sounds simple, doesn’t it? And it is just that simple. Sometimes, though, it occurs over a matter of hours or even days, depending on how deep into the rabbit hole I went before I realized I wanted out. ~smile~

Here is something funny. As I come out of the hypnotic trance of ego fears, I can always hear the ego calling me back. It says that I can’t leave this problem unsolved. I can’t just walk away. “Hey, what about this person or that circumstance?” But I keep walking and the less attention I pay to the ego, the more peaceful and happy I become. Soon, I don’t even remember what the big deal was.

Then I laugh.

I realized that I had once again gotten caught up in the idea I had to fix the story if I wanted to be happy. This is never the case. My happiness is not dependent on the story. I only had to shift my mind from the story to my function, which is to accept the Atonement for myself. This is my job here, my purpose, and all I need to do while I am still dreaming. It is enough. “

Come on, Happy Dream! What other block do I need to remove? I’m tired of pain and suffering and am ready for the dream to take a major turn. Holy Spirit, just let me know what you need me to do next. I’m committed to this undoing business.”

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