II. The Difference Between Imprisonment and Freedom, P 4
4 The ego tries to teach that you want to oppose God’s Will. This unnatural lesson cannot be learned, and the attempt to learn it is a violation of your own freedom, making you afraid of your will because it is free. The Holy Spirit opposes any imprisoning of the will of a Son of God, knowing that the will of the Son is the Father’s. The Holy Spirit leads you steadily along the path of freedom, teaching you how to disregard or look beyond everything that would hold you back.
I don’t want a personal will anymore. I recognize it is not my true desire and I accept that my past desire to have a will separate from God is imprisoning my true will. Because it seems to pit me against God, a separate will makes me feel deeply guilty and guilt causes fear, which is not a happy state nor is it my natural state.
I long for the freedom that is my natural state. For this reason I am vigilant for the ego thoughts I am tempted to believe, and I ask for the Atonement for my wrong minded beliefs. I notice the effects of those thoughts and I ask the Holy Spirit to correct my perception. He is teaching me that what I see in the world is meaningless no matter how tempted I am to believe it.
I am learning to look past or beyond everything that would keep me in the world. I am learning to do this with the ego-thinking and with the effects of those thoughts. I see what is before the body’s eyes, but I disregard the meaning of anything that is not an effect of the thoughts I think with God. I am not guilty for what I see, nor is what I see real.
Here is an example. I woke up many times during the night and finally gave up trying to sleep around 4:00 this morning. The ego interprets this to mean that I am going to be tired long before my day is over. It offers me the thought that my mind is not going to be sharp. If I pay attention to the ego, this is what will happen. My mind is very powerful and will faithfully reflect back to me whatever it is that I believe.
I don’t want that kind of day so I am not listening to the ego. There is only one true thought in this scenario; I didn’t get as much sleep as usual and it was not entirely restful. I get to add the meaning this holds. I do so from my right-mind or from my wrong-mind. Out of habit I might fall back on my past choices which were habitual.
I might start to think I am tired and then I will feel this way and act on the feeling. If I do, I will also remember the truth. I give the world all the meaning it has for me, including this, and I can disregard appearances and change my mind about the meaning I give it. My experience has been that as I change my mind, the effects change as well, sometimes in startling ways.