V. The Ego’s Use of Guilt, P 3
3 The ego is the part of the mind that believes in division. How could part of God detach itself without believing it is attacking Him? We spoke before of the authority problem as based on the concept of usurping God’s power. The ego believes that this is what you did because it believes that it is you. If you identify with the ego, you must perceive yourself as guilty. Whenever you respond to your ego you will experience guilt, and you will fear punishment. The ego is quite literally a fearful thought. However ridiculous the idea of attacking God may be to the sane mind, never forget that the ego is not sane. It represents a delusional system, and speaks for it. Listening to the ego’s voice means that you believe it is possible to attack God, and that a part of Him has been torn away by you. Fear of retaliation from without follows, because the severity of the guilt is so acute that it must be projected.
Journal
This paragraph is very helpful in understanding guilt. Here is how I understand it. I think I separated a part of God from Himself and I think I am going to be punished for that. I feel intensely guilty and afraid. The guilt is overwhelming so I project it and think the punishment will come from without. I am very afraid of God and so I pretend to love Him while actually doing everything I can to avoid Him.
Here is what really happened. I had a thought of separation and imagined what it would be like. Now the mind is split, a part of it is now the ego belief that God could be attacked and some part of Its Self could be taken from It and that God will retaliate for this assault. The world we see and experience is the effect of this insane thought. The ego also thinks that it is me. When I identify with the ego I also believe that the ego is me.
The rest of my mind is sane. It knows the truth, that God cannot be attacked and God cannot suffer loss. Nothing has actually happened. I am not the ego and the ego is not anything, just a weird belief that somehow took hold in the mind. I can allow this belief to be undone for me through the Holy Spirit. God cannot be anger and God cannot punish, because God is only Love. I have done nothing wrong, I am innocent, I am loved. I am free.