ACIM: There Is No Darkness in God’s Son. The children of light cannot abide in darkness, for darkness is not in them. (ACIM, T-11.III.6:1)

ACIM: God’s Son Is Only Light.

God’s Son Is Only Light

I pretended to be less than I am. I pretended to be that for so long that even I believed it. So, I sit here in the middle of a feast and suffer famine. I sit here in perfect safety and suffer fear. And I sit here in Love and feel that I am bereft of comfort. I abide in darkness when all along I am the Light of the world. Dear God, hear my prayer. I would wake up and see what is before me, all around me, in me. I would no longer be deceived.

The perfect plan has been designed to wake me gently from my dream of suffering and sacrifice. The Atonement is in place, and I but need to accept it to experience its healing effects. I forgive. I forgive over and over again until finally, I realize what it means to forgive. And with that realization comes an insatiable appetite for forgiveness.

This morning everything makes me laugh. I laugh that I still must forgive this little thing and that little thing. How am I still so blind to the blazing light of truth that I still believe there is some little thing separate from some other little thing that needs forgiveness? How can I so easily forget that it is all the same?

Laughter Bubbles Out of Me

And isn’t it hilarious that I know this, and yet, Myron goes out into the world and feels attacked and put upon, fearful and ashamed? She feels all the other ridiculous stuff that is part of the experience of separation. And then I laugh again as I realize that I am the one who sees Myron do this, so I cannot be Myron. I laugh to realize that the more I do this, the less at stake I have in this story of Myron. And so, the easier it is to forgive.

Really, laughter bubbles out of me with abandon this morning.

Oh Spirit, help me remember today. I mean, after I leave the silence of your presence and immerse myself in the daily stuff of life in the illusion, help me remember what I am. Help me remember the purpose I have accepted. Help me remember to forgive it all. But mostly, help me remember to laugh today. When I think of my ridiculous state, I must either laugh or cry. I am tired of crying and would prefer to laugh now.

How did I get to the place I am where I can laugh at the idea of living in darkness? Jesus tells us it is not possible for us to be in darkness. He says: The children of light cannot abide in darkness, for darkness is not in them. (ACIM, T-11.III.6:1) Nothing could be clearer than that.

The Good News

The good news is that we made all this up, and we can undo it and will undo it. It is not complicated, nor is it difficult though we can make it seem difficult. Everything we see with our eyes is an out-picturing of a belief in our minds. Thus, we can easily learn to recognize the belief that is holding the world in place. Once seen, we can decide to forgive that belief and let it go.

Perhaps like me, it seems hard to believe a construct so complex could be undone simply by letting it go. But like me, you will, or maybe already have, seen this happen. I use the process that Jesus gives us in the Course. It has three parts. First, I notice the thought that is causing distress, and looking at it with the Holy Spirit, I let it go to Him. The third part is not for me to do. The actual healing is the Holy Spirit’s function. See, it is simple and easy.

Getting Caught Up in Someone’s Story

Here is an example of how I do this. I was concerned for my son because he is feeling discouraged. He is looking for a job and not getting one. His life is not unfolding as he thought it would, which depresses him. My problem was that I was caught up in his story, so I was suffering along with him. This was not helping either of us.

I realized that it was my thoughts about the situation that were upsetting to me. I looked at it with the Holy Spirit and asked Him to heal my mind of the belief that I know what is in my son’s best interest. And the belief that my worry for him is somehow helpful, even necessary. I forgave it and let it go to the Holy Spirit. I know that my son is having the experience he came here for. It is helping him wake up, just as my life offers me the same opportunity. Now I am at peace. If fearful thoughts return, I know what to do with them.

Withdrawing My Projections

These dark thoughts can’t travel with us unless that is our wish. The light that is in us and has never left us will shine them away if that is our desire. Here is what is most helpful to me right now. I had an errant thought. I wondered if my kids were ok. My son was driving to Florida for a weekend with his girlfriend, and my daughter was driving home from Disney World with her family. The question was really fear that they might not be OK. These thoughts are the dark companions I no longer desire to keep.

Instead, I withdrew my projections and brought them back to my mind. I sat with the Holy Spirit as I felt the effect of believing in them. Then I was able to release the whole thing to the Holy Spirit for healing. As I clear my mind of ego beliefs, my world shifts, and instead of being a scary place, it is just a big classroom where I learn my lessons. I know I am not alone, and I know I and everyone else are perfectly safe no matter what happens in the world.

⁵But the dark journey is not the way of God’s Son. ⁶Walk in light and do not see the dark companions, for they are not fit companions for the Son of God, who was created of light and in light. (ACIM, T-11.III.4:5-6) Oh, yes! This is my choice, and I make that choice every day all through the day as I choose, again and again, to walk in the light rather than in the darkness.

To read the Pathways of Light article, Our Journey Into Light, CLICK HERE.

ACIM T. 3. VII. Creating versus the Self Image, P 5. The mind can make the belief in separation very real and very fearful, and this belief is the “devil.”

ACIM T. 3. VII. Creating versus the Self Image, P 5

5 VII. Creating versus the Self-Image, P 5

5 The mind can make the belief in separation very real and very fearful, and this belief is the “devil.” It is powerful, active, destructive and clearly in opposition to God, because it literally denies His Fatherhood. Look at your life and see what the devil has made. But realize that this making will surely dissolve in the light of truth, because its foundation is a lie. Your creation by God is the only Foundation that cannot be shaken, because the light is in it. Your starting point is truth, and you must return to your Beginning. Much has been seen since then, but nothing has really happened. Your Self is still in peace, even though your mind is in conflict. You have not yet gone back far enough, and that is why you become so fearful. As you approach the Beginning, you feel the fear of the destruction of your thought system upon you as if it were the fear of death. There is no death, but there is a belief in death.

But Nothing Has Happened

What have I made through the ego thought system? Conflict. Conflict everywhere I look. Within my own mind and extending to my immediate family, conflict projected as illness, addictions, and a brother in prison. Conflict extends to friends appearing as grief and many of the same forms as are in my family. Conflict extends over the world, appearing as death and destruction from natural disasters and from war and strife, hunger, and disease.

“Much has been seen since then, but nothing has really happened.” I could cry with relief. This horror show is an illusion. Nothing has happened. Every sad, every violent, every emotionally wrenching story is just a projection of the belief in separation, an experience that appears real because I believe in it. The stories will cease when I choose to return to the Beginning.

This is what I am doing right now. It is what all of us studying and practicing the Course are doing. We are backing out of our stories and our belief in separation. Every time one of us becomes aware that we are speaking angry words and we acknowledge those words are not the truth, we back out of the illusion a bit. Each time we realize we don’t want our righteous anger and that we would rather have healing, we back out a bit. Each time we accept the Atonement instead, we back ourselves all out of the illusion a bit more.

I’m Learning

I used to be fully convinced that I was a victim of the world. I tried to get smarter and wiser so that I could fight back. And I tried to defend myself against the world by learning to manipulate the system. I thought I was clever as I learned how to make more money and how to get people to do things my way. I tried all sorts of things to feel safe, but nothing worked. All that happened is that I became afraid of everything and was drowning in guilt. Thinking back on my early life, I don’t know how I endured it.

Through A Course in Miracles, I slowly learned to accept that I but do this to myself. I learned that I am not a victim of the world but the maker of the world. I learned that wisdom is not learning how to defend myself, but rather it is learning that in my defenselessness, my safety lies. And I began to recognize that no matter how hard I try, there is no way I can make plans on my own and have any confidence the plans will bring the results I hoped for. So, I learned to surrender my plan to One Who knows.

Letting go of Beliefs in Loneliness and Control

I used to be painfully lonely, and now I see how impossible that is. After all, I am one with All That Is. I have learned that being alone is not the same thing as lonely. If I begin to feel lonely, I ask for comfort and to feel the unity of One Self. Learning to let go of the burden of judgment has been such a relief. Now, instead of trying to judge for myself, I ask what a thing means.

I am learning to let go of my tight grip on control, understanding that being in control is the greatest illusion of them all. I surrender control to Love and let it take care of me. Instead of fighting against life, I forgive. I forgive and forgive and forgive. At first, I forgave grudgingly, suspicious of the process and expected loss. Now I do it not in a sense of giving up but forgiving for the joy of it.

No Exceptions

I continue with these practices, and now I am becoming vigilant for the exceptions I make, the places in my life where I try to hold back something, believing that these places have some value and hold some meaning. Sometimes it feels like a big deal. Sometimes it feels small and inconsequential.

What I am learning is that they are all the same. Anytime I want to decide for myself, make plans on my own, and feel righteous in my judgment, I am misplacing value. Anytime I fail to love or am blind to the Christ in my brother or feel separate from others, I am placing value where there is none. And I am defending against God. Each of these things, even though they feel different to me, is all the same. They are symbols of my opposition to God.

It is true that the closer I come to the Beginning, the harder the ego-self fights for its life. It places obstacles to the truth in my path. The ego tries to distract and discourage. It uses fear and guilt to move me from my path. Sometimes it feels like a battle is raging in my mind, but it is only myself that I fight.

Yes, the ego fights against waking up, but I have so much help now. I sometimes feel like I don’t know how to find my way out of an ego storm, but now I never believe that I will fail. I call for support, comfort, clarity, and for help in whatever way would be most helpful, and I am answered.

To read or listen to Regina Dawn Akers’ teaching on Is Attack Possible, CLICK HERE.

ACIM T. 3. VII. Creating versus the Self Image, P 3, 4. We have discussed the fall or separation before, but its meaning must be clearly understood.

ACIM T. 3. VII. Creating versus the Self Image, P 3, 4

3 VII. Creating versus the Self-Image, P 3

3 We have discussed the fall or separation before, but its meaning must be clearly understood. The separation is a system of thought real enough in time, though not in eternity. All beliefs are real to the believer. The fruit of only one tree was “forbidden” in the symbolic garden. But God could not have forbidden it, or it could not have been eaten. If God knows His children, and I assure you that He does, would He have put them in a position where their own destruction was possible? The “forbidden tree” was named the “tree of knowledge.” Yet God created knowledge and gave it freely to His creations. The symbolism here has been given many interpretations, but you may be sure that any interpretation that sees either God or His creations as capable of destroying Their Own purpose is in error.

A False Interpretation

I am happy to read this. Right now, I have no trouble accepting that the generally accepted religious interpretation of the fall of man is a mistake. But when I first read it, I was so relieved I cried. Believing that God tempted us to sin and then punished us for our failure was a very frightening thought. It generated in my mind many false beliefs about the nature of God.

I also resented that it set up the idea that women were, in some basic way, evil and the cause of man’s fall from grace. I think that this idea seemed entirely too convenient for men in general, and that alone caused me to doubt the Bible as the true source of God’s Word. At the very least, I doubted the interpretation, which was given by men. Did God create women for the sole purpose of giving men an excuse for bad behavior? I questioned that this was likely.

On the other hand, everybody seemed to accept this interpretation, and it is one I was taught from a very young age, so I was afraid it was true. God was manipulative and vengeful, and he had little regard for women. What a chilling vision of my Creator that was! Of course, it is only the projection of our fear that we sinned when we had the thought of separation. But before I had the Course, I didn’t know about projection. At that time in my life, I took the allegory literally and very personally.

Separation – A Faulty Thought System

The other thing in this paragraph that stands out to me is the sentence that explains what the separation really is. It is just a thought system. Separation is a belief in our mind, and that is all it is. It isn’t a true thought, so it has no true effects, and that is a relief. A thought can be changed, and if the effects are not real, then the seeming effects will disappear with the change of mind.

Even though the separation idea is not real, it seems real, and to those who are under its sway, it is real. So, while I still believe in the separation thought, I still suffer its effects as if they were real, too. I want to change my mind about separation, not because it is a sin or because I have really done anything. And I want to change my mind about separation because my belief in it is painful. I want to heal and to be at peace. I want to remember who I am and to return my whole mind to God.

4 VII. Creating versus the Self-Image, P 4

4 Eating of the fruit of the tree of knowledge is a symbolic expression for usurping the ability for self-creating. This is the only sense in which God and His creations are not co-creators. The belief that they are is implicit in the “self-concept,” or the tendency of the self to make an image of itself. Images are perceived, not known. Knowledge cannot deceive, but perception can. You can perceive yourself as self-creating, but you cannot do more than believe it. You cannot make it true. And, as I said before, when you finally perceive correctly you can only be glad that you cannot. Until then, however, the belief that you can is the foundation stone in your thought system, and all your defenses are used to attack ideas that might bring it to light. You still believe you are an image of your own making. Your mind is split with the Holy Spirit on this point, and there is no resolution while you believe the one thing that is literally inconceivable. That is why you cannot create and are filled with fear about what you make.

An Attempt at Self Creation

I am trying to create myself. That is a fact. I see myself as a body, and no matter what I say about it, that is, if I say I am a body, in a body, or pretending to be a body, I believe I am an image of my own making. Of course, I do! I am certainly not an image of God’s making, so it must be my making. It will not help me to return to my true Self if I deny what I have done.

From within this image, I continue to tweak my self-concept as I try to control my body image. For instance, I try to keep it healthy, clothe and decorate it in an effort to express my “self.” And thus, I think I can become something of my own making. I “make something of myself.” I “become the best I can be.” Maybe I take self-improvement courses, study fashion and change my hair color or style, or discover an amazing new diet.

I will never be through making myself, never be satisfied with the results, because I know (I deny it, but I know) that I have a true Self that cannot be altered. And so all my effort does nothing. I know that this made-up self, no matter how refined, is not me. It doesn’t even come close to my true self. All of these things I do are defenses against the truth. They are efforts to hold at bay the reality that I am trying to improve, something that does not exist and never has.

It Never Get’s Better

While I continue to play in the world of make-believe, I rob myself of true creation. I also scare myself. I live in uncertainty and doubt about nearly everything. Should I take this medicine or that supplement? Would it be good for me or hurt me? Studies vary. And that is just one area of uncertainty. There is nothing certain in our world, and we live with the constant, though seldom acknowledged, anxiety of not knowing.

The separation story will never get better. We will discover the cure for one disease, and another will pop up. We will find the perfect diet and exercise program combined with the most effective meditation practice, and death will claim this body, anyway. And we will form a self-governing system and change the world, and it will ultimately fall apart.

Self-Creating Experiment

Nothing will work because the idea of separation cannot work. Its destruction is built into the concept itself. It will never make us happy because it is the opposite of our natural joy and peace. It will always leave us fearful and guilty because these are components of separation and are unavoidable.

Our experiment in self-creating has had a good run, but surely it is time to set it aside. Of course, it is. That is why we are here, studying A Course in Miracles together. It is why I spend every day watching my thoughts, asking for guidance and healing. I am ready to retire as my own teacher, as my own guide, and absolutely as my own creator. All these things I do are symbolic of my growing desire to awaken from the dream of separation. I long for something I can’t quite remember.

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ACIM T. 3. VII. Creating versus the Self Image, P 1, 2. Every system of thought must have a starting point.

ACIM T. 3. VII. Creating versus the Self Image, P 1, 2

VII. Creating versus the Self-Image, P 1

1 Every system of thought must have a starting point. It begins with either a making or a creating, a difference we have already discussed. Their resemblance lies in their power as foundations. Their difference lies in what rests upon them. Both are cornerstones for systems of belief by which one lives. It is a mistake to believe that a thought system based on lies is weak. Nothing made by a child of God is without power. It is essential to realize this, because otherwise you will be unable to escape from the prison you have made.

We have two thought systems in our minds. The foundation for them both is the same; it is the power of God. This power is ours because it is God’s; as His children, we inherited His power. From this power, we create or make depending on the thought system we are using. If we use the ego or separation thought system, everything that appears was made rather than created, but because of the power of our mind, what we made is very realistic indeed.

From the separation thought system, nothing done is real or affects reality, but from within that thought system, it appears real and has effects. Our mind, however we might choose to use it, is very powerful because God created our minds to be powerful. (Note: In my writing, I refer to our mind, and I also refer to the ego-thinking mind. My definition of the ego-thinking mind is that part of the mind that is engaged in the separation story. It is the part of the mind that is filled with constant chatter and keeps us engrossed in the story so that we won’t notice the truth, which is also in our mind.)

The Power of Belief

Jesus wants us to be aware of the power of the mind and not to marginalize it just because we use it to make something that is not real. It is not real, but it appears real, and our belief in it makes it real to us, so the effects seem real to us. And that is a fact I probably don’t have to convince anyone of. If you have ever been in severe physical pain, you know how real the world feels. If you have ever lost someone you love very much, you know how real the world feels. Our mind is an awesome power.

Because of this power of belief, we have a hard time accepting the truth instead of the illusion, even as we are ready to do so, as certainly, we are. Everyone will be ready to do so at some point, but this is our time. That is why we picked up the Course and why we didn’t put it down. The ego says we made a decision to keep reading it, but we kept reading it because this is our time to wake up. And even so, it feels very hard to let go of parts of the illusion. This is because of the power of our belief.

What I believe in is true for me. Since an idea is true, how do I stop believing it? A belief we all share is that the sky is blue. How do we stop believing the sky is blue? We look at the sky, and it seems blue. We ask around, and yes, everyone else sees the same blue sky. But if we try to stop believing in blue skies, we can’t.

The Correction

This is the same problem we have when Jesus tells us that pain is not real or that guilt is not real. We may want to believe this, and we may think that we should believe it because we trust the integrity of the source. But still, we wake up with a headache or burn our hands, which hurts. We think about something we did which seemed to have caused harm, and we feel guilty. We watch someone do something wrong, and we judge him as guilty.

This is why we have the Holy Spirit in our minds. The Holy Spirit will correct our thinking for us. Think of the mind that believes the impossible, that pain and guilt and fear are real, as a sick mind, and the Holy Spirit as the Healer of the mind. This is Its function and the reason It was placed in our minds.

The only thing needed to receive this essential help in returning our minds to Reality is to desire it. The Holy Spirit would never, and could never, override the choice we make. But once we begin to desire the truth more than we desire our illusion, He heals our minds of our mistaken beliefs, and the truth becomes clear to us.

Our Fail-Safe

The Holy Spirit is our fail-safe, the assurance we will not be forever lost in our own dreams. Reading, studying, and practicing A Course in Miracles helps us to see that we want to make a new decision, and the Holy Spirit makes it possible for us to do so. What I have learned from doing the Course is that I can watch my mind for thoughts that indicate I believe something that is not true. I can see the effect of these beliefs in my life and realize that I don’t want to believe them anymore. Then I can ask the Holy Spirit to correct my thinking and heal my mind.

As my beliefs change, the effects change, and the world I seem to live in, the life I seem to be living, is one of the effects that change. Peace, love, and joy are powerful motivators, and I become eager for the Holy Spirit’s help and come with less reluctance to Him for healing. This is how I do my part to wake us up from our dream of separation. It is the answer to the conundrum of overriding a belief. This is the solution to undoing the ego.

VII. Creating versus the Self-Image, P 2

2 You cannot resolve the authority problem by depreciating the power of your mind. To do so is to deceive yourself, and this will hurt you because you really understand the strength of the mind. You also realize that you cannot weaken it, any more than you can weaken God. The “devil” is a frightening concept because he seems to be extremely powerful and extremely active. He is perceived as a force in combat with God, battling Him for possession of His creations. The devil deceives by lies, and builds kingdoms in which everything is in direct opposition to God. Yet he attracts men rather than repels them, and they are willing to “sell” him their souls in return for gifts of no real worth. This makes absolutely no sense.

Rather than acting as if my mind is weak, I am learning to use the power of my mind to undo what I have done. I watch for thoughts that indicate I am still trying to depreciate that power. For instance, recently, I gained five pounds. Usually, when this happens, I go on a diet and lose it. No big deal. But this time, I realized that I was tired of the merry-go-round and that I wanted off once and for all. Since I know that my body is in my mind, the solution is also in my mind. So I asked the Holy Spirit to heal my mind from my false beliefs about food and body image.

Deep Rooted Beliefs

As I have been doing this, I realize that I have many deep-rooted ideas about food and the body. This is harder than I would ever have believed possible. I also noticed that I tend to get discouraged, and I feel like I can’t do this. I notice that when this happens, I feel fear. When I asked the Holy Spirit about the source of the fear, I realized it was fear that the truth is not true, and I really am only this fragile and weak body.

My ego looks at those five pounds and my failure to see it differently. It sees it as a symbol of all my separation thinking. And it sees it as proof positive that I am in competition with God. And that I am winning, though it is a pitiful prize indeed. This increases the fear and the desire to hide. My first reaction is to push these thoughts away with an admonition to myself that this can’t be true and I shouldn’t be thinking it.

Of course, thinking I am wrong for the beliefs in my mind piles on more guilt and more fear of failure. But while this visceral reaction to guilt and fear, this desire to run from my thoughts, is still there, I don’t listen to it anymore. What I do now is to ask the Holy Spirit to heal this belief, too.

As I accept the Holy Spirit’s healing, I notice that the conflict eases, and I become more comfortable with the process. I feel patient and certain that the ego beliefs about food and the body will be healed. They must be healed because they are not true, and the mind that was powerful enough to create this illusion is powerful enough to let it go.

The Devil

The devil Jesus speaks of sounds suspiciously like the ego. The difference between the devil I learned of from religion and the ego I learned of from Jesus is that the devil was something outside of me. It was the place I projected my more aggressive thoughts of being in competition with God. It was not my fault, “The devil made me do it.” The devil was a way to hide from the really scary thought that I was fighting God for my authorship.

The ego is the “devil” in my mind. It is the desire to be something I am not, to experience something God did not create. For a long time, it scared me that I turned from God to the ego, but the fear was of my own doing. God is not the cause of my fear; my thoughts about God are what scare me. I sold my soul to the ego, and the ego remade me in its own image, then remade God in its image as well. The ego mind gave me an illusion of a weak and powerless victim against an angry and vengeful God. How did I imagine this was a bargain I wanted?

I have a sense of being separate. And all I had to give up was peace, love, joy, freedom, and complete safety. And, oh yeah, the love of God. Because I cannot see myself as loved by God if I think I am at war with Him. It is all a lie, an incredible deceit, and no one is responsible except myself. I willingly and happily admit I have done this and ask that it be undone.

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ACIM T. 3. VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 10, 11. 10 Peace is a natural heritage of spirit. 11 There is no one who does not feel that he is imprisoned in some way.

ACIM T. 3. VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 10, 11.

VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 10

10 Peace is a natural heritage of spirit. Everyone is free to refuse to accept his inheritance, but he is not free to establish what his inheritance is. The problem everyone must decide is the fundamental question of authorship. All fear comes ultimately, and sometimes by way of very devious routes, from the denial of Authorship. The offense is never to God, but only to those who deny Him. To deny His Authorship is to deny yourself the reason for your peace, so that you see yourself only in segments. This strange perception is the authority problem.

This is good news, indeed! I understand from reading this paragraph that I am free to deny the truth of who I am. I can pretend that I am not the free and perfect Son of God. And I can do this all day long for as long as I can stand the pain. It is not a sin, and God is not offended. It changes nothing, and so no harm is done. Who I am is unassailable. I can deny my Self, but I cannot change my Self.

All fear and guilt are derived from the misunderstanding that I am free to change what God has done. He created me, but I think that because I am having an imaginary experience of being something else, I have authored myself. I think I have undone what God has done and that I have re-created my self. Now I am my own creator.

None of My Story Is True

It’s easy to see why I believe that. I am so immersed in this story of separation that I believe it is true. I think I am Myron and that I really am this fragile body living this uncertain existence, doomed to die, and who knows what happens after that if anything. And yet, I have an ancient memory that persists. It is the source of all the God stories that won’t die, and it is the source of the persistent hope for something better.

What keeps the complete truth from my mind is the fear that although I was once beloved of God, my sins have made me unworthy. Since I seemed to be this person, and this proves I succeeded in becoming my own creator, then my assault on God must be real as well. My guilt and fear of what I have done keep me trapped in my story, the prodigal son afraid to return home.

But none of that is true. I cannot create myself. I cannot undo what God has done. And I cannot offend God. God is not judgmental or vengeful. Those are projections from the separated mind. Those are ego beliefs that I have put on God. When I “re-created” myself, I also “re-created” God in my image, making Him the fallible being I see myself to be. Thank you, God, that neither thing can be true! God remains God, pure unadulterated Love, and I remain His sinless Son.

11 VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 11

11 There is no one who does not feel that he is imprisoned in some way. If this is the result of his own free will he must regard his will as not free, or the circular reasoning in this position would be quite apparent. Free will must lead to freedom. Judgment always imprisons because it separates segments of reality by the unstable scales of desire. Wishes are not facts. To wish is to imply that willing is not sufficient. Yet no one in his right mind believes that what is wished is as real as what is willed. Instead of “Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven” say, “Will ye first the Kingdom of Heaven,” and you have said, “I know what I am and I accept my own inheritance.”

I was thinking about how this all comes together. How do I imprison myself through judging and wishing? Here is the thought that came to me. A while back, my sister-in-law had surgery, and there were complications. I worried, which is judgment. I judged the situation as bad, with the potential to be worse.

My judgment scares me, and I tend to project blame. Thoughts of blame came into my mind, such as the doctors should have seen the problem sooner, my sister-in-law should have acted sooner, and I should have done something differently. Through these thoughts, I imprisoned myself with my judgment. I was afraid, and guilt was driving my emotions. Thus, I was not at peace and was not helpful in this situation. I felt trapped in my ego mind.

Wishing and Judging

I wished she would get better. This wish implied that I was afraid she would not get better. Wish is such a tentative term. It holds no conviction. When I hear myself say I wish I could do better, I know I really mean, “I don’t believe I can do better.” Or, “I think I should do better, but I don’t believe I will, and if I do, it is pretty much by accident.” A wish imprisons me within the very thing I hope to escape. It holds me captive through its irresolution.

Which way lies my freedom? I gladly put away my judgment, for starters. I give it to the Holy Spirit, Who knows what to do with it. After all, I have no basis on which to judge. I don’t know what anything is for, what anything means. As I surrender my desire to judge, my mind clears, and I know this one thing; we are all innocent. No. I know two things. We are all innocent, and the Son of God is not victim to the world.

I give my wishes to the Holy Spirit and accept a miracle in their place. And I will for truth to assert itself in my mind. I give up the wish for healing, instead willing first the Kingdom of Heaven, knowing that there is only health within the Kingdom. This morning, I will that I have slipped the bonds of imprisonment as I turned from the ego mind and placed my faith in my Self. I know what I am, and I accept my own inheritance.

To review Pathways of Light insights on this section, CLICK HERE.

ACIM T. 3. VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 8, 9. The issue of authority is really a question of authorship.

ACIM T. 3. VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 8, 9

8 VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 8

8 The issue of authority is really a question of authorship. When you have an authority problem, it is always because you believe you are the author of yourself and project your delusion onto others. You then perceive the situation as one in which others are literally fighting you for your authorship. This is the fundamental error of all those who believe they have usurped the power of God. This belief is very frightening to them, but hardly troubles God. He is, however, eager to undo it, not to punish His children, but only because He knows that it makes them unhappy. God’s creations are given their true Authorship, but you prefer to be anonymous when you choose to separate yourself from your Author. Being uncertain of your true Authorship, you believe that your creation was anonymous. This leaves you in a position where it sounds meaningful to believe that you created yourself. The dispute over authorship has left such uncertainty in your mind that it may even doubt whether you really exist at all.

Identity Crisis

When I first read this, it made me very uneasy, to the point that I did not allow myself to understand it even though it was pretty clear. I am more accepting of it now. Clearly, I have confused myself about my identity. God created me, and so I am like God. I decided to play with the idea that I am different, and so imagined a self that was unlike God. I made up a self, decided it was me, and in so doing, imagined I was the creator of myself. This was confusing and frightening, and so I projected this delusion onto others. Now it is really confusing and even more frightening because I always seem to be fighting for authorship.

What kind of self have I made? I am a fragile body, separated from all other bodies and everything around me, living at a point in space and time. I have adventures in which I seem to be in danger, and I have to figure out how to survive. And I give myself exciting moments, fun moments, and moments of exquisite happiness. But behind even these moments is the uncertainty that is inevitable within the constraints chosen for this existence, which is mortality. Eventually, I run out of options, and I die. It sounds like a video game and is no more meaningful.

The Parameters

I made up certain concepts that drive the story and describe its parameters. There is loss, lack, guilt, and fear. Everything that happens in this world is motivated and described by one of these concepts. I have many stories based on loss. I lose a friend to death. Once, I lost a job to the economy. I don’t have enough money. I lack friends, good health, and someone to love. And I feel guilty for everything, for what I did and what I failed to do. I am afraid all of this will catch up to me, and I will be punished.

I Made All That I See

How do I project this onto others? I made this. I made the whole world as I experience it, and I am afraid of what I have done. And I am uneasy with the self I made, so I try to make others responsible. When my chosen story goes awry, I look for the cause of my failure in those around me. A friend dies, and I say that it is God’s Will. I lose my job and placed the blame on my boss or the uncaring company I work for. A relationship goes awry, and I blame my partner and look for a better one.

So, what has happened is that I am in constant siege over my authorship. I battle God, Who thinks He made me like Himself, perfect, whole, and eternal. But I insist that I am weak, frail, beleaguered, and mortal. I battle other people who I have blamed for causing me to act in certain ways and thus seem to be defining who I am. I am left in such confusion about my authorship that I don’t know who I am or even if I exist at all.

God’s love for us is unwavering. He does not judge us wrong for our choices. The fear that He does and that we will be punished is a concept we made up. In truth, God wants only our happiness. This is why He created a Guide and a Comforter and placed It in our minds. We are given the way out of our predicament. We are given a way to undo what we have done.

I Forgive All That I Made

As we choose to forgive the world we made and the idea that we are our own creator, the Holy Spirit acts on our behalf to undo the world. Now that I am ready to wake up from this absurd dream, I notice when I am living a guilt story and remember that guilt is a concept I made up. I notice how unhappy I am when I feel guilty or when I project guilt. So, I choose again by asking the Holy Spirit to heal the belief in my mind that guilt is real and has real effects.

I do the same with the other concepts I made up. I continue to undo the world in this way until I am free of the suffering that comes from being confused about my authorship. God is the Author, and I am His creation. I remember this as I allow the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. Each time I let go of a wrong-minded belief, my mind clears a little more, and I am beginning to lose interest in playing at being my own creator.

9 VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 9

9 Only those who give over all desire to reject can know that their own rejection is impossible. You have not usurped the power of God, but you have lost it. Fortunately, to lose something does not mean that it has gone. It merely means that you do not remember where it is. Its existence does not depend on your ability to identify it, or even to place it. It is possible to look on reality without judgment and merely know that it is there.

What a neat paragraph this is!

Only those who give over all desire to reject can know that their own rejection is impossible.

No wonder I still feel rejectable! I have the belief in rejection in my mind, so I project stories of rejection. I see someone I disapprove of, and I have rejected that person. Or, I see an action I judge as wrong and have rejected it. Each time I reject, I strengthen the belief that rejection is real and important. I increase the value I place on my right to reject. Spend today noticing the obvious and subtle ways you reject today, and you will see what I mean.

Because all our weapons of attack are double-edged, it will slice both ways, and I will project stories that prove I, too, am rejected. Because I have taught myself to believe in rejection, I will believe the stories that seem to prove I have been rejected, even when the proof is flimsy. Understanding this, I am going to be very alert to my tendency to judge and reject. This is not a belief I want to strengthen in my mind.

Eradicating Rejection

I am grateful to remember that it is not my job to eradicate the belief in rejection or even to control my urge to reject. It is only my job to notice when I am rejecting and to realize this is a belief that has no truth to it. God is not rejection, so rejection cannot exist. I made it up as part of the whole separation experiment. I am ready to choose again, and I do so by asking the Holy Spirit to undo what I have done. When I have been healed of this false belief, there will be no more rejection in my mind to project onto the story of Myron. Won’t that be a nifty turn of events!

You have not usurped the power of God, but you have lost it.

The second thing I love about this paragraph is that I am reminded that I have not actually done anything to feel guilty about. I have not really usurped the power of God. It is patently absurd to believe I ever could have done this, but in believing I had done so, I scared the bejeesus out of myself.

I am so awash in guilt and shame that I cannot even think straight anymore. This guilt is so intense that it cannot be borne and so is denied, but along with the guilt, the reason for the guilt is denied as well. I can’t find most of this unconscious guilt because I buried it so deeply in my mind that it is lost to me. But as I have lost conscious awareness of the guilt, I have also lost conscious awareness of the power of God.

Eradicating Guilt

The good news is twofold. First, guilt does not exist. It is part of the separation idea. We made up guilt, and we can allow it to be undone for us. We don’t need to get in touch with that deep well of unconscious guilt in order to do that. As long as we continue to forgive as much of the guilt as we can, the rest will be done for us.

The second piece of good news is that while we can “lose” our awareness of the power of God, it does not actually go anywhere. I will find it when I want it. I will want it when I am no longer afraid of it. And I will no longer be afraid of it when I forgive the idea of guilt. It is simple to forgive guilt. However, the ego mind absolutely believes in guilt. It is made of guilt and will not give up the idea easily. But it is still simple to do it.

I notice guilt in the mind, all guilt, regardless of the direction it points toward another or toward myself. Then, I realize that guilt is not in God, and so it cannot be in me. I agree to be healed of this belief, and I accept that healing. Notice a pattern here? ~smile~ When you get serious about this forgiveness work with guilt, don’t be surprised if the ego part of your mind fights you on this. It will try to prove guilt with its stories. Don’t believe them. They are pure fiction.

CLICK HERE to hear an excellent teaching by Regina Dawn Akers on letting go of the belief in rejection.

Once upon a time, the Son of God had a tiny mad idea in which he imagined he was separate from God in a universe of his own making.

Once Upon a Time: A Tiny Mad Idea

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, the Son of God had a tiny mad idea in which he imagined he was separate from God in a universe of his own making. He scared himself so badly in his belief that he had actually achieved this impossible idea that he continues to this day to live in fear. This fear is completely unwarranted because “⁷Much has been seen since then, but nothing has really happened. (ACIM, T-3.VII.5:7),” but the mind keeps remembering all the stories that were written in that moment of insanity.

Ever since then, the Son of God has thought he was the son of man and has lived in his false memories. But the time has come for him to awaken and live rather than dream. That is what we are doing as we study and practice A Course in Miracles; we are training our minds to overlook the dream and remember our goal is God.

Here is the truth. ⁶This world was over long ago. ⁷The thoughts that made it are no longer in the mind that thought of them and loved them for a little while. (ACIM, T-28.I.1:6-7) Why, then, one might ask, does it seem to be very real? It can certainly feel like we are these bodies and, in these bodies, and yet, we cannot be that. The bodies were over when the world was over. This is what I strive to remember about this apparent life. ⁶You keep an ancient memory before your eyes. (ACIM, T-26.V.5:6). Knowing this, it is easier to accept the miracle of a mind healed.

It Can’t be Hard

Getting to that miracle can feel difficult sometimes. But that can’t be true. Jesus tells us that nothing is difficult that is wholly desired. In The Simplicity of Salvation, he reminds us this: All it says is what was never true is not true now, and never will be. ³The impossible has not occurred, and can have no effects. ⁴And that is all. (ACIM, T-31.I.1:2-4) He asks us why we have trouble with something so simple as he asks this question:

¹⁰Why, then, do you persist in learning not such simple things? (ACIM, T-31.I.1:10) There is a reason. ²But confuse it not with difficulty in the simple things salvation asks you learn. (ACIM, T-31.I.2:1-2)

How many times have you said that it is so hard? I know I did for a very long time. It was my favorite lament. Hahaha. But the only reason it ever feels hard is that we don’t entirely want the miracle. We want to keep believing what we believe. We want to keep our little separate self in place. But when we decide that we are ready to change our minds, there is a simple solution.

Power of Decision

Using the power of decision, we look at (experience) the problem with the Holy Spirit and tell Him that we are ready to see this differently and ready to accept His healing. Then we become quiet and allow the miracle to occur. In that holy instant, we are in neither the past nor the future; we are in the present moment, the only moment that exists, and in that moment, there is a miracle, and healing occurs.

Suddenly we are free of the burden of judgment, or we are no longer confused about what matters. Maybe that is the moment we have forgiven the grievance and no longer feel like a victim or unfairly treated. At that moment, we feel more like our Self and less like our separate personal self. We are closer to God.

Recently, while doing the lessons, I have had the opportunity to ask for the miracle and to receive it. Here are some of the ways the miracle has come quietly into my mind.

I am in need of nothing but the truth.

Sometimes I think I need more money or a thinner body. Sometimes I think I would be happy if I had a healthier body. Maybe I think I need to be right, and the other person needs to admit it. There is actually an endless and endlessly changing list of what I think I need. But what I really need is the truth. I must remember who I am and who I am to my brothers and to God. As this memory returns to me, I discover that I don’t need anything else to be happy.

Let every voice but God’s be still in me.

When I notice that I am tempted to anger, guilt, or fear thoughts of any kind, I remember that this is not my will because it is not God’s Will. At that moment in which I have denied the ego thoughts, my mind is silent, and into that silence, God speaks. It may come as a true thought or simply as peace, and I know that my mind is healed.

An old memory of something I did that I used to regret showed up in my mind this morning. I felt the pain of guilt for a moment. But then, I changed my mind about choosing that idea on which to place my attention. I remembered that Jesus said that this was just an ancient memory I had placed before my eyes. In this case, it is a memory of an ancient memory, but if I hold onto it as if it is true and worthy of my attention, it will bring me more of the same. So, I choose to turn my attention to the truth instead, and just like that, the emotional reaction fades away, and with it, the memory itself.

Chasing Time

I felt some stress from the idea that time was moving along, and I still had things to get done today. I used to live like that, always chasing time and always losing the race. Even when it seemed to all get done, I still lost because I did everything in fear of failure and so lack of love. I don’t know how I was able to survive life living like that.

This morning as soon as I noticed the tension, I questioned my thoughts. I realized that I must have been asking the ego for advice, and I chose again. This time, I surrendered the day to the Holy Spirit, and I did what seemed to be in front of me and then did the next thing, and I felt peaceful and happy doing them.

Everything that needs doing will get done, not because I am working hard or fast, but because I have turned from the self and to the Self. What does the little ego self know? How can it guide me to a peaceful and happy outcome? My mind becomes quiet when it is time to do the next thing so that God’s Will can come into my awareness. I love my life now.

Forgiving it All

I have been practicing forgiveness of the body, the world, and all untrue thoughts for a long time, but with an emphasis lately on watching them disappear. If I feel a headache coming on, I forgive it and watch it disappear. If I think I can’t lose weight, I forgive that idea and watch it disappear. I think someone is guilty of something, and I forgive that idea and watch it disappear.

I know that there is nothing outside me and that the body’s eyes don’t show me anything that exists. So, I am forgiving it all. I am watching it disappear as a reality for me. What I will be left with is myself, as God created me. I feel a shift. I guess it is the result of what I have left behind. It feels like love and happiness. It feels like serenity. I wonder if it is permanent. We shall see.

But you know what? On reflection, I questioned the last two sentences. Why do I wonder if it will be permanent? Is it because sometimes, in the past, a shift wasn’t permanent? I am re-imaging a past experience, and so I am asking for the same result again. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for pointing this out. I don’t want to keep living in the past and the future and completely overlooking the only real moment: the present moment. I choose to live in that eternal moment.

What Is Sin?

2. The body is the instrument the mind made in its efforts to deceive itself. ²Its purpose is to strive. ³Yet can the goal of striving change.

Last night I used the body to fill a false sense of emptiness with ice cream, and when that didn’t work, I tried pretty much everything else in the kitchen I could think of. None of it worked, and it only made me feel weak and helpless and all the emptier. I was using my body to strive to fix a problem that didn’t exist.

This morning, I am using the body to strive to fill my mind with the truth. I am not guilty, nor have I ever been guilty. Guilt doesn’t exist except in the confusion of a mind that believes it is separate from God. Today, I strive for happiness and peace where it can be found, not at the bottom of a bowl of ice cream but within my own mind. So far, I haven’t been willing to see what it is that causes these periodic bouts of uncertainty and emptiness, but I know I will. In the meantime, I continue to choose again for God and to forgive all the rest.

Contemplation of Deciding with God, Not Against God

To decide with God, I must let go of the insane idea that I am not as God created me. When I first contemplated this, I felt it was almost impossible. It felt like these ideas of weakness and sin were so strongly reinforced in me that I would continue to return to them. But each time I made a choice for God, I became stronger in my faith in God’s Word, and the easier it was to turn from the ego beliefs.

Sometimes, I still slip into ego thinking, but the truth is so much stronger in me that I don’t stay there. I realize that I have equal access to my holy mind and that who I am, my true Self, answers for me if I choose that. Occasionally, I briefly feel like I’m stuck in my ego thinking, but I also know that I can extricate myself through my desire for the truth.

That is my point of choice, and it is incredibly powerful. I might feel like I am pulling against a great force, but if I persist, I see that it loosens, and I am free. That happened to me recently. I was concerned about my son, and I felt myself falling into his story. I wanted out. At first, it felt like I was glued to that story, and I had no control, but I knew that couldn’t be true. I kept my mind moving toward God, and thoughts came to me that helped. Pretty quickly, I was at peace. All I have to do to be free from any ego thought is to be still. If I don’t fill the silence with my own thoughts into that holy instant in which I have invited God, healing occurs.

To read my short article, A Message From Spirit, CLICK HERE.

ACIM T. 3. VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 6, 7. God offers only mercy. Your words should reflect only mercy, because that is what you have received and that is what you should give.

ACIM T. 3. VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 6,

6 VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 6

6 God offers only mercy. Your words should reflect only mercy, because that is what you have received and that is what you should give. Justice is a temporary expedient, or an attempt to teach you the meaning of mercy. It is judgmental only because you are capable of injustice.

I wanted to be sure I understood this simple paragraph. I looked up mercy, and it said compassion, and I looked up justice, and it means fairness. So, I am told that I should have compassion because I receive compassion. It also told me that I am being taught the meaning of compassion through fair treatment. This is a temporary measure involving judgment, but only because I believe in unfairness.

How do I use this in my life? The example that comes to me is not about another person but about compassion and fairness to myself. Here is something I wrote while I was still working. It is a very useful story for our purposes today.

Wasting Time

Yesterday, I had more free time than I normally do. I spent it walking in the park, watching a little TV, and reading a novel. I enjoyed my day for the most part, though I worried a little that I was wasting time.

This morning I am back to being busy, and as soon as I am through with my journaling, I will get dressed for work. The week will have little free time in it to catch up on paperwork, writing, and other things I can only do when I squeeze a little time from the weekend. Watching my thoughts, I notice that I feel guilty and foolish for not using my free time to do those things that really needed doing.

I realize, as I watch my thoughts that I think I am guilty for my behavior and that I will be punished by not having free time because I misused it and proved I don’t deserve it. I am not being compassionate to myself. In fact, I have tried myself in the ego court of law and judged myself guilty and deserving of punishment. This is why I must learn to be merciful and just.

The Holy Spirit is not judging me and berating me for my lack of industry this weekend. Those are thoughts from the ego mind. As I listen to the Voice for God, I am assured that there is no shortage of time and that God does not judge me according to how much I get done. I receive nothing from God except Love, and that love is not conditional on anything I do or fail to do.

Opposing Thoughts

The Holy Spirit looks at my thoughts with me, and He is compassionate to me because he understands why I feel like this. He knows the ego is merciless and unfair and that I believe its judgment of me. But He also knows that none of this is real and that I remain innocent as the day I was created. This is true regardless of my ego beliefs and regardless of my behavior.

I am presented with two entirely opposed thoughts. The ego, which I made, finds me guilty. The Holy Spirit, which is the Voice for God, finds me innocent. This is always the case, and it is always my choice which one I believe. Mercifully, I choose the Holy Spirit as my Guide and put my faith in His judgment.

As I accept the Holy Spirit’s judgment, my mind is healed, and I am at peace. Instead of worrying that I should have written that article and done something with that stack of receipts, I am grateful for my restful day. I could worry that I don’t know when I will get time to do these things. Instead, I wait with curiosity and happy anticipation to see how life will arrange itself to make time for me to do what needs to be done.

7 VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 7

7 I have spoken of different symptoms, and at that level there is almost endless variation. There is, however, only one cause for all of them: the authority problem. This is “the root of all evil.” Every symptom the ego makes involves a contradiction in terms, because the mind is split between the ego and the Holy Spirit, so that whatever the ego makes is incomplete and contradictory. This untenable position is the result of the authority problem which, because it accepts the one inconceivable thought as its premise, can produce only ideas that are inconceivable.

As a Son of God, it is inconceivable that I could be angry, sad, depressed, jealous, fearful, or any of the other symptoms that I have experienced. And yet, I seem to be all of these things at one time or another. It is inconceivable that the Son of God could be sick, could suffer, and then die. And yet, that seems to be the inevitable fate of us all. How can both of these things be true? How can it be that I am experiencing the inconceivable?

They cannot both be true. Either I am still as God created me, or I am something different. I cannot be something different, so I must still be as God created me. If I seem to be different, I must be dreaming. If I am dreaming, then I want to wake up. I keep thinking of the movie, Inception, a movie of dreams, within dreams, within dreams.

Navigating the Dream

This is what is happening to me. I am dreaming and dreaming of dreaming, and now I will dream of waking up. In my dream of waking up, I have discovered not only that I am dreaming but also the source of the dream stories. The thoughts in the sleeping mind, the things that I believe to be true, make the world I dream of. In my dream, I have discovered the way out of the confusion. It seems I have a Guide.

I am learning to watch for those thoughts and let them be changed for me by my Guide. And I am learning to ask for direction and to ask for clarification. I am too confused to make decisions on my own, and I need help, which I receive from my Guide. By following that Guide, which I call the Holy Spirit, I am learning that I can have a better dream, a happier one, and eventually, wake up from the dream.

As it turns out, this is pretty simple. There are signposts that I watch for to know if I am dreaming with my Holy Spirit or if I am trying to dream alone. If I am afraid or guilty, if I feel shame or loss, these are signs that, in my confusion, I have turned away from my Guide and am trying to navigate this dream on my own again.

Compelling Stories

The stories I dream are compelling. They feel so real and are often so urgent, so critical that I dare not turn my back on them. I need to be there, to be doing something. I need to make something happen. The need for action is so fierce, the need for vengeance and retaliation, for defense and attack, so real that I forget I am only dreaming. I forget how inconceivable it is that I, the Son of God, could be attacked, could be endangered.

In the past, I thought that something could be gained from being on my own, finding my way back, and succeeding without help. I was like a child who insisted on doing it alone even though it was beyond my capability. And like a little child, I sometimes stubbornly insist that this is my story and I am in charge of it, and I don’t want to give it up. But I am learning that it is not truly my will that I will be lost in this dream forever and that it is my will that the Holy Spirit guide me out of it.

Waking Up

Technically, waking up from the story is the easy part. I acknowledge that I am 100% responsible for what seems to be happening in my dream. And I decide to choose differently and ask for help. I admit that I don’t know the solution or how to get there, but I am willing to follow. I accept the help given to me. That is all there is to it. I don’t have to do anything or figure anything out. It’s as simple as one, two, three. I did it. I change my mind. And I accept correction. That’s it!

The sleeping mind likes its stories and its dramas, and the part of me still engaged in this dream doesn’t always want to give it up. It will insist that this dream is different than that dream. For instance, dreaming of death is far more serious than dreaming of a new relationship. The mind sees the dream of death as needing a different solution from the solution needed in relationship changes.

It finds the idea that the solution is always the same to be ludicrous. The stories are so different, and some are much bigger deals than other stories. How could it be that the answer is always the same? That the solution to its carefully crafted dramas is so simple the mind finds it insulting and resists it fiercely.

Practice, Practice, Practice

This is why it takes a lot of practice to learn to trust the Holy Spirit implicitly. I made up my own dream, and I believed in it. I loved it and wanted to keep it. Because who I am is not diminished even by my denial of the truth, the power of creation makes the illusion seem so real. But there is the truth in my mind, and it calls to me.

In using each story as an opportunity to remember what the truth wants me to know, I am losing my taste for dreams. And I have learned it really is that easy to wake up. It just isn’t always so easy to want to wake up. But it’s getting easier, and the daily practice makes this so.

Would you like to learn to let go of the “I am bad belief?” CLICK HERE to listen to Regina Dawn Aker talk about this.

ACIM T. 3. VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 5. The strain of constant judgment is virtually intolerable. It is curious that an ability so debilitating would be so deeply cherished.

ACIM T. 3. VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 5

5 VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 5

5 When you feel tired, it is because you have judged yourself as capable of being tired. When you laugh at someone, it is because you have judged him as unworthy. When you laugh at yourself you must laugh at others, if only because you cannot tolerate the idea of being more unworthy than they are. All this makes you feel tired because it is essentially disheartening. You are not really capable of being tired, but you are very capable of wearying yourself. The strain of constant judgment is virtually intolerable. It is curious that an ability so debilitating would be so deeply cherished. Yet if you wish to be the author of reality, you will insist on holding on to judgment. You will also regard judgment with fear, believing that it will someday be used against you. This belief can exist only to the extent that you believe in the efficacy of judgment as a weapon of defense for your own authority.

Does the Body Get Tired?

This paragraph had a very strong influence on me from the first time I read it. I had always thought I was tired because I did too much or didn’t get enough sleep. Sometimes I would be very emotional and would feel tired, but I didn’t get the connection. Reading this paragraph, I understand that the body is not tired; it is the mind that is tired.

I did not at first understand the significance of this idea. Now I understand that the body isn’t tired, strong, weak, sick, or anything else. The mind is these things, and it is projected outward so that it seems the body is the problem. Believing my projection is real when the body gets tired, I give it rest. And if it gets tired too often, maybe I give it iron supplements or take it to a doctor.

Can you see the absurdity in this? I value the idea that I could be the author of my reality. So, I would see my body as tired and sick and suffering before I give up judgment. It is important that I understand what I am doing and why. I am not going to stop doing it until I accept responsibility.

I believed that being tired meant I needed more sleep or some magical remedy. This simply assures the problem would never be resolved. I will get sleep and feel better because that is what I decided on. But I will just get tired again because the real cause of my weariness has gone uncorrected.

Taking Down the Wall

As I have become willing to see the cause, I have become willing to allow my mind to be healed. It did not happen all at once. First, there was a belief that the body is autonomous and that it gets tired. Second, the cause is something that happens in the world. This is a wall in my mind. Behind this wall is a building made up of many blocks. Each block represents a situation in which judgment is used. This wall maintains the core of the building, which is the belief that I am my own maker.

Ever since I read this paragraph, the wall has been crumbling. I have tried to ignore it. But it has crumbled away to the degree it can no longer hide the building. Now I see the building and can no longer pretend it is not there. I have started dismantling it one block at a time. Here is an example.

Someone sent me a “joke” based on the apparent ignorance of some people. At first, I laughed and then I noticed that I didn’t want to laugh at this. It really is disheartening to judge my brother. A block that makes up the structure protecting my belief that I am my own god has been removed. This happened as I chose against judgment.

Judgment Is Exhausting

One night, some time ago, I arrived home from working out of town. I was surprised that my grandson was not home. I texted my daughter to let her know I had a little gift for her. She said that she was going to a graduation for her cousin on her step-mother’s side of the family. This started me thinking about being alone and not included, and I felt resentful. I began to feel sad and lost interest in the projects I had planned to do. I felt tired and just wanted to watch TV or read a book.

This is an example of exactly what Jesus is talking about. He says that judgment is what makes us tired, and it is judgment that keeps the idea of separation going. I want to be my own author, to be my own maker. I was making a woman living alone and lonely, separate even from the ones she loves the most. And I made myself a victim of unthinking and uncaring children. And I wore myself out with all my judgments.

Luckily, I have been practicing mind-watching for a long time. I recognize the difference between true thoughts and ego thoughts. I have decided for God so often that it is my default choice now. And I very quickly choose differently by asking the Holy Spirit to heal my mind.

Willingness Does the Trick

Watching the mind, asking for correction, and accepting the healing. This is how I have removed the blocks that have hidden the source of my problem. Now I am willing to look without flinching at the belief that I want to be my own author.

I have become willing to see what I have done. I had deliberately chosen to make myself this separate, alone, and lonely woman. And I didn’t care who I had to make guilty to achieve that goal. I didn’t care how bad it made me feel. I wanted to be successful in my objective as the maker of myself.

Here is something more important. I have become willing to let go of the idea that I want to be the author of reality. I am still removing blocks. And I will do so until that tiny mad idea stands unshielded by my judgments. Then I will see it die its final death. I’m OK that this is done in small steps, and I am not worried about it. I’ve learned to let go of guilt about this kind of thing. It turns out that guilt is the glue I made to ensure my illusion stays in place. So I am letting that go, too.

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ACIM T. 3. VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 4. You are very fearful of everything you have perceived but have refused to accept.

ACIM T. 3. VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 4.

VI. Judgment and the Authority Problem, P 4

4 You are very fearful of everything you have perceived but have refused to accept. You believe that, because you have refused to accept it, you have lost control over it. This is why you see it in nightmares, or in pleasant disguises in what seem to be your happier dreams. Nothing that you have refused to accept can be brought into awareness. It is not dangerous in itself, but you have made it seem dangerous to you.

 I felt a little confused about this paragraph and asked for understanding. In the first sentence, I am told that I am fearful of the things I perceive but refuse to accept. So what is it that I have perceived but refused to accept? That would be the things I project onto others. I notice a thought in my mind but feel guilty or afraid of the thought and quickly project it. I see it (or perceive it) outside me, and I think I am free of it, but now I am nervous because, outside of me, I have no control over it.

How Does this Work?

Jesus, could you give me an example of this?

I received these examples. I understand better when I perceive it in a personal way, as if it was my life. Though I don’t actually have these beliefs anymore, I am sure I had them in the past.

The whole world I see is an example of this. A specific example would be the belief in lack. If I believe in lack, I might project this belief onto the world as financial poverty. I see poverty everywhere I look. People are starving to death while others have so much they cannot even use it all. I don’t know what to do about it and think because I cannot find a solution that, I am guilty. I buy some luxury and feel guilty because I could have used that money to feed some hungry child. Then I realize there is no way I can fix this problem, that it is out of my control, and this makes me fearful and angry.

If I believe in loss, I project that belief onto the world. For example, I am in love, giddy with it, and I think I will love this person until I die, and even death cannot end my love. Then I fall out of love, and I lose that wonderful feeling. I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t make love last forever, and now I can’t be happy without it. Love is out of my control, and I am a victim of its loss. I either run out to fill that loss with someone else, or I become afraid to lose again, and so defend myself against it and never allow myself to fall in love again.

Just Beliefs In My Mind

If I believe in suffering and so project suffering onto the world, this could happen. I see people with cancer everywhere I look, and I am afraid because it seems so horrible. Even if I never have it or even if no one I love has it, I am afraid because it is possible, and so I live in dread. I read every article on it and tried every preventative measure to keep it at bay, but I don’t know if any of them will work, so I am still in fear. Or I project it onto this body I think of as myself. I have cancer, and it just appeared. I have no control over it and can only try to defend this body from its ravages.

These are possible scenarios. In each one, the thought or belief is in the mind, and in an effort to get rid of the belief, it is thrown out (projected). It then seems to be outside, no longer in my mind but out “there.” It is not me, not my fault, and I am not guilty of having that thought. That is the idea, anyway. But out there, I have no control over it, so now I am afraid.

The Solution

The solution is to stop trying to control it out there, which, of course, is impossible. As long as I perceive the idea as something outside myself, I will continue to feel victimized by it, but as I withdraw my projections and acknowledge the thoughts, I can allow them to be healed. When I see poverty, instead of joining a cause to eradicate it, I realize that the idea of poverty is in my mind, and that is where it must be healed.

When I see loss, instead of feeling helpless to do anything about it, I acknowledge that the loss I see is just a symbol of the idea of loss I believe in. I ask the Holy Spirit to heal the belief in loss in my mind, and I accept His healing. A mind that does not believe in loss will not see loss. A mind that does not believe in suffering will not see suffering because it will not project suffering or loss.

Does the world suddenly change? No, it is the mind that is healed that changed. For instance, when I used to come up short on money, I would panic and find a way to make more money. Of course, there is a limit to this possibility, and I know it. So, this solution doesn’t help. I may have more money temporarily, but nothing changed, so the problem is not resolved. It will only reoccur.

How It Changed

When I let go of the belief in loss, I stopped worrying about loss of any kind. If I ran out of money, I would wait and watch with interest to see what happened next. Somehow, whatever I needed would show up. When I saw others suffering from loss, I saw it differently. I knew that this was their ticket home. They could use it to allow the healing of their mind. Or not.

But even if they just suffered from fear of loss, unaware of how to see it another way or even to ask for another way, the experience would be helpful. It would teach them what they didn’t want, just as it did me. And, of course, if I can help, I will do so, and maybe this will be the lesson in love and kindness they needed more than they needed the money.

From the place of identifying with the ego mind, it is very hard to remember that my story of Myron is just a story and that none of it is real. But every time I notice a thought that is not in alignment with truth and allows that thought to be healed, I loosen my hold on that false identity of Myron. The darkness recedes a little, and there is more light in my mind. I begin to see.

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