Lesson 5: The First Key Is Desire


First, desire is everything. Without it, not a thing can arise. Therefore what you desire is of utmost importance. Desire, then, perfect union with God.

What I have learned
I admit that at first Jeshua threw me with all this emphasis on desire. Though I had not been aware of it, desire, in my mind, was the enemy. It was what seemed to keep me in trouble all the time; the desire for another cookie kept me in constant battle with my weight; when I was young the desire for sexual gratification kept me in the confessional; not knowing what it is that I truly desire keeps me, still, in conflict. It was desire that got me into this whole mess, the desire to know myself differently than I was created.

Now that I have worked with Jeshua on desire a bit, I begin to understand that desire is everything, that I would not lift my body from this chair without the desire to do so, therefore, since I cannot avoid desire it is imperative that I master it. And to master it I must first learn not to fear it. So the exercises I have been learning make perfect sense now.

There are certain truths that are so basic to my awakening that I never get far from them. There is only one problem and that problem is my belief I am separate from God. There is only one solution and that solution is the Holy Spirit Which is in my mind. These truths help me to keep a unified purpose. Everything seems different, but everything is the same. It either keeps me in fear or it awakens me to love. So whatever is happening in my life I apply these principles. If I am not happy, I recognize that the purpose of the situation is to allow my mind to be corrected so that I can awaken. If I am happy, I recognize that the purpose of the situation is to awaken me. There is only one purpose in my life, and everything contributes to that purpose in one way or another.

Jeshua began this section by reminding me that it is important to desire perfect union with God and this is another way of keeping a unified purpose. As I get in touch with my desires I begin to see that they are all part of that purpose. I think I desire all sorts of stuff, but I learn that this stuff is only a poor substitute for the gifts of God. I really want to feel the power and the glory of my Self as God moves through me.

As I surrender my own efforts to be the maker and doer in my life, I surrender my desires as well. It is not that I do not have desires, but I do not direct my desires. This is not a sacrifice; quite the contrary. When I was trying to rebuild my house on my own, that is, by listening to the ego voice, each thing I did was a struggle. I felt that I knew what I desired to happen and how to make that desire take form. But then I noticed what I was doing and surrendered my desires to the Holy Spirit. I held no desire back; I gladly gave Him even the desire to have a house. Since that moment everything has moved smoothly. For awhile there I forgot my unified purpose. I thought that the purpose of rebuilding my house was separate from my purpose of awakening.

I desire to become empty of ego based desire, that is, desire which I see as outside my one purpose. I want to become spacious and to become the unobstructed conduit for Love. I desire that each movement I make in each of my moments is in accord with the desire of my Father. I want, not to control desire, because control is fear based, but to master desire and so know how God would use me.



All quotes are used by kind permission of the Shanti Christo Foundation. To buy a copy of this profound book visit their website at www.shantichristo.com. I invite your thoughts and comments.

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