Lesson 5 

I am never upset for the reason I think. 

W-pI.5.1. This idea, like the preceding one, can be used with any person, situation or event you think is causing you pain. 2 Apply it specifically to whatever you believe is the cause of your upset, using the description of the feeling in whatever term seems accurate to you. 3 The upset may seem to be fear, worry, depression, anxiety, anger, hatred, jealousy or any number of forms, all of which will be perceived as different. 4 This is not true. 5 However, until you learn that form does not matter, each form becomes a proper subject for the exercises for the day. 6 Applying the same idea to each of them separately is the first step in ultimately recognizing they are all the same. 

W-pI.5.2. When using the idea for today for a specific perceived cause of an upset in any form, use both the name of the form in which you see the upset, and the cause which you ascribe to it. 2 For example: 

    3 I am not angry at _____ for the reason I think.
   4 I am not afraid of _____ for the reason I think. 

W-pI.5.3. But again, this should not be substituted for practice periods in which you first search your mind for “sources” of upset in which you believe, and forms of upset which you think result. 

W-pI.5.4. In these exercises, more than in the preceding ones, you may find it hard to be indiscriminate, and to avoid giving greater weight to some subjects than to others. 2 It might help to precede the exercises with the statement: 

    3 There are no small upsets. 4 They are all equally disturbing to my peace of mind. 

W-pI.5.5. Then examine your mind for whatever is distressing you, regardless of how much or how little you think it is doing so. 

W-pI.5.6. You may also find yourself less willing to apply today’s idea to some perceived sources of upset than to others. 2 If this occurs, think first of this: 

    3 I cannot keep this form of upset and let the others go. 4 For the purposes of             these exercises, then, I will regard them all as the same. 

W-pI.5.7. Then search your mind for no more than a minute or so, and try to identify a number of different forms of upset that are disturbing you, regardless of the relative importance you may give them. 2 Apply the idea for today to each of them, using the name of both the source of the upset as you perceive it, and of the feeling as you experience it. 3 Further examples are: 

    4 I am not worried about _____ for the reason I think.
    5 I am not depressed about _____ for the reason I think. 

6 Three or four times during the day is enough. 

Journal 

In doing these lessons the first time, I liked some better than others, understood some better than others. Eventually, I came to appreciate each and every one of them as I began to understand their importance in the process of undoing the ego in my mind. But there are some of them that are ‘favorites’ in that they changed me in a significant way or that they turned out to be my go-to when I found myself stuck in some ego belief. This is one of those lessons. 

I didn’t, at first, understand how it is that I am never upset for the reason I think. I didn’t really accept that I am sometimes upset for a reason other than the one I think, much less that I am never upset for the reason I think. But as in all situations, I accepted that Jesus knows and I don’t, and I trusted that someday I would really understand this. 

However, what I did understand immediately was this: 

3 There are no small upsets. 4 They are all equally disturbing to my peace of mind. 

I really got that! I am either at peace or I am not. I cannot be a little at peace any more than I could be a little pregnant. If I am upset because I lost track of time, then I am not at peace. If I am upset because a close friend died, I am not at peace. The upsets seem very different to me, but the effect is the same. No matter why I lose my peace, it is still gone. 

The reason this was so important to me, is that I now knew that if the peace of God was my goal, then I must accept that upsets no matter what that upset looked like, was something I must release. This is so uncompromising that it actually made the problem easier to deal with. I no longer had to judge anything about the upsetting situation. I just had to decide if I wanted the peace of God or if I wanted the upset. 

The second sentence in the lesson that helped me was this one. 

3 I cannot keep this form of upset and let the others go. 

Even though when I first read this I was not sure why this was true, I accepted that it was. Being of the same category of uncompromising statements, I knew that it was important and would help me undo the ego and become peaceful. So, when I would find myself upset and think that this upset was different and that I couldn’t let it go, I reminded myself that if I didn’t let this one go, I would not be able to let the others go.  

This was very motivating to me. Eventually, I began to understand that if I believe that any upset is something I want, then I believe that upsets have value and I will hold onto them for that reason. Here is a way that my mind justified hanging onto the upset by seeing value in it. My ex-husband did many things while drunk that was upsetting to me. My ego argued against letting that upset go. The argument was that if I didn’t defend myself from his words and his behavior, then everything would just get worse. I couldn’t afford to let the upset go because I would then be defenseless. 

Here is what I learned about it. I thought I was upset because of his words and actions. But I am never upset for the reason I think. Eventually, what I learned was that even after this situation was no longer occurring, I would still get upset, sometimes from the memories of that time. Memories are not real so I was getting upset over nothing. Even when those memories were not present, I would get upset over something else.  

Upset was an idea that I found valuable so upset kept happening and continued to do so until I let the idea go completely. All the things that happen in this world are reflections of what we believe. Maybe the core upset, the root cause of all upset is the belief that we are actually separated from God. Maybe that is always the reason we are upset. If so, it is still most helpful to use the specific upsetting incidents that represent the core upset. Letting them go is the way I discover that I want to let go of the root cause and transfer of learning will occur.