Above all else I want to see.
W-pI.27.1. Today’s idea expresses something stronger than mere determination. 2 It gives vision priority among your desires. 3 You may feel hesitant about using the idea, on the grounds that you are not sure you really mean it. 4 This does not matter. 5 The purpose of today’s exercises is to bring the time when the idea will be wholly true a little nearer.
W-pI.27.2. There may be a great temptation to believe that some sort of sacrifice is being asked of you when you say you want to see above all else. 2 If you become uneasy about the lack of reservation involved, add:
3 Vision has no cost to anyone.
4 If fear of loss still persists, add further:
5 It can only bless.
W-pI.27.3. The idea for today needs many repetitions for maximum benefit. 2 It should be used at least every half hour, and more if possible. 3 You might try for every fifteen or twenty minutes. 4 It is recommended that you set a definite time interval for using the idea when you wake or shortly afterwards, and attempt to adhere to it throughout the day. 5 It will not be difficult to do this, even if you are engaged in conversation, or otherwise occupied at the time. 6 You can still repeat one short sentence to yourself without disturbing anything.
W-pI.27.4. The real question is, how often will you remember? 2 How much do you want today’s idea to be true? 3 Answer one of these questions, and you have answered the other. 4 You will probably miss several applications, and perhaps quite a number. 5 Do not be disturbed by this, but do try to keep on your schedule from then on. 6 If only once during the day you feel that you were perfectly sincere while you were repeating today’s idea, you can be sure that you have saved yourself many years of effort.
I don’t know what to say about this lesson other than, I am all in! This wasn’t always true. I used to think that I felt like a liar saying this because I was aware that I had reservations and that I wasn’t even sure what it meant to want to see above all else. And there were all these things I wasn’t sure I wanted to let go of. If I didn’t defend myself would that mean I had to let people walk all over me? What if I don’t want to love everyone equally? And all this talk about being one mind and not having private thoughts made me a little queasy.
What changed is that I did the lessons anyway, and I studied and practiced the Course in spite of my reservations. I let myself discover that Jesus knows what he is talking about and that doing what the Course tells me to do is the way to awakening. This morning when I opened my book, I felt my heart sing when I read that today above all else, I want to see. It makes me happy to think of this commitment, to know I mean it, and to know that it will lift me up to higher levels of awakening. I am so grateful.