Lesson 234 Year 2020

Lesson 234 

Father, today I am Your Son again. 

Today we will anticipate the time when dreams of sin and guilt are gone, and we have reached the holy peace we never left. Merely a tiny instant has elapsed between eternity and timelessness. So brief the interval there was no lapse in continuity, nor break in thoughts which are forever unified as one. Nothing has ever happened to disturb the peace of God the Father and the Son. This we accept as wholly true today. 

We thank You, Father, that we cannot lose the memory of You and of Your Love. We recognize our safety, and give thanks for all the gifts You have bestowed on us, for all the loving help we have received, for Your eternal patience, and the Word which You have given us that we are saved. 

INITIAL INSIGHT: It only seems like we have been in the separation experience for eons, but actually, it was over and done in a blink of an eye. I think of it as stretching it out to give the illusion of time passing. This is important to know because we are still confused about the nature of our existence and it helps us to know that what we are trying to achieve has already been accomplished. We cannot fail, we can only slow down our process and thus suffer longer.  

We are already in God; we are already safe and at peace. Everything that seems to be happening is happening in the mind only. It is a virtual experience, a life in the mind that is dreaming of separation. Every second I spend in the present moment, without giving attention to the chatter in the mind, is a second closer to being as my Self. It is still a dream, but it is a happy dream, a dream of living as my Self. Today is a day of gratitude that this is so. 

DAILY APPLICATION: I remember when I first read this that it was just a distant hope and one I could hardly believe in. Then slowly over the years of consistent practice, the vision of my Self as part of God has become something that I believe in. 

Now as the ego beliefs that are still in my mind become apparent to me, I no longer feel guilty that they are still there, and I relinquish them quickly and gladly. When I get hung up on one, I ask for help and I let it go as soon as I can. I see the ego-mind trying to manipulate me and trying to pull me back into the story with all its drama and intrigue. I see it and I choose against it. I remember that the peace of God is everything I want. 

Mostly, I allow everything. If I want to cry, I cry. If I feel depressed, I let that feeling come. If I am angry, I feel the anger. I can do this now because I am not afraid of these feelings anymore. I am not afraid that they prove my guilt, or that I cannot control them and they will overwhelm me and condemn me. I can allow everything because it is all meaningless and will pass. 

As I allow them without giving them emphasis, they pass quickly, and they pass to the Holy Spirit. Sometimes I see the belief behind the feeling or the thought. Sometimes I just know that healing is occurring because that is my truest desire. I can imagine being without fear and guilt even as the ego-mind balks at the thought and insists this cannot happen, even as it shows me proof that guilt and fear are real. I return my mind to God, knowing that His Will is my will, and so peace and joy are mine. I need only to choose them. 

Past Entry 

In this one, I am just beginning to accept that I can wake up and the Holy Spirit is encouraging and helpful. 

As I read that I can anticipate the time when dreams of sin and guilt are gone, I am sometimes so ready for that moment I feel like I can wake up right now. Then other times I am reluctant to accept that I really am God’s Son and that awakening can be just a thought away. It does not feel like I am approaching that moment. I understand what the words in the Course say. There is nowhere to go and nothing to be done because nothing actually happened. Then I get out of bed and it feels like stuff is happening. 

There sometimes seems such a huge gap between what is true and what my experience is that I cannot imagine the two coming together. I am, however, willing to be wrong. I want to be wrong, and I am willing to look at the part of me that still clings to the idea of value in this world. I don’t know how I can still believe the world has something to offer but evidently, I do. Holy Spirit, I again I ask that you help me bring up whatever needs healing so that together You and I can look at it. I am willing to accept Your correction. 

INSIGHTS FROM HOLY SPIRITAllow your doubts to surface, dear one. That too is part of the healing you asked for. Do not be discouraged by your feelings, your doubts, and your uncertainties. You want the unhealed thoughts to come up and to look at them, and that is all that is happening right now. You will find this an easier process if you will imagine stepping back and looking at it from a distance. This will help you see it as if you were detached from it, which truly you are. Detachment will also help your willingness to release it. 

Imagine the thoughts moving through your mind and you are just watching them. What a strange parade they make. Playfully wave goodbye to them if you wish, just don’t reach out and grab them. This is what you are doing when you feel guilty or when you think they are important. When this happens you attach to the thought and you believe it is part of who you are. While this is not true, and you have no power to actually change your holy Self, your belief is very powerful and absolutely affects your experience. When you feel attached to your thoughts and beliefs you think they are you, and it becomes frightening and painful to let them go because you think you are losing your very self when you do. 

GRATITUDE: Holy Spirit, I love the pictures you paint for me. It is easy for me to understand when you help me to see it this way. My thoughts are indeed a strange parade and a very repetitive one. I keep seeing the same thoughts getting back in line for another run through my mind. I will do as you suggest and practice detaching emotionally from what I see. They, after all, are just thoughts and can be changed. 

Choosing Healing 

In this one, I am experiencing a very difficult situation for me, and I am grappling with the fact that I am trying to support two thought systems at the same time. I am involved in the ego world of fear, but am not fully involved because I know that there is God and that I can have God instead. I may not be able to accept the truth completely, but neither do I accept ego completely either. I know too much to go back to total ignorance. I know enough to ask for help and I accept it as much as I can at that time. 

2014 

I can anticipate the day of liberation, the day I allow myself to be free of all belief in separation. I can see it as if it is just ahead, and not that far ahead, either. I had an upsetting conversation with my son this morning. He had surgery recently on his back and had hoped relief from the chronic pain he has suffered for years now. It doesn’t seem to be happening and now he seems to have re-injured it. All of this bad news has caused him to be very depressed. 

I love him so much and want only that he be happy. I also know that his story of pain and suffering is not real. He is still as God created him. He is master of his universe. But that is not his experience and the experience he is having is really painful. I felt his deep discouragement as we spoke and I wanted so much to do something, but what can I do? 

Jesus, master healer that you are, I ask you what my part is in this drama my sweet son has made for himself. I want to so much for him to be free. You healed many and you raised the dead. You say that I can do this too. In A Course in Miracles I have learned that I heal through accepting the Atonement for myself, that is in accepting that I and my son both are not our bodies and that because of what we are, the world, including our bodies are subject to our desires. They must bow to our holy will, but only as we recognize their harmlessness. 

That is my problem now, Jesus, I have trouble holding onto the idea that the situation with my son’s body is harmless. It seems to be anything but. I am willing though, to see this truth and to hold to it. I can almost see it now. I do understand that my goal is not to heal his body, and, in fact, that seeing him as his body is the opposite of healing. I will to see the face of Christ when I think of him or see him. When I fail in this, I am willing to step back from healing and allow my mind to be healed, because obviously, I cannot give what I do not have. 

I call on your name, Jesus, as I ask that my son be healed. I call on you to have my back because I still become tempted by the ego-mind to see what is not there. I know that you have not abandoned us and that you will help and support me as I do my part to accept the Atonement on my behalf and on the behalf of my son. I thank you for your love and for believing in me and my son even when I cannot. Thank you for showing me how this is done. 

I know that I am able to anticipate the day when dreams of sin and guilt are gone because in the past when this fear for my son has come up, I have been lost in my fear and dread and unable to think clearly enough to remember the truth. I have been so busy trying to drag myself out of the ego quagmire that I have been no help at all to my son. Today, I feel the pull of ego, but I also feel the draw toward God. I feel that draw so much more strongly than ever before. I still need your assistance, Jesus, but I am very willing to accept it. I know that is good. 

REGINA’S TIPS 

Please take time this morning to read, “What is Salvation,” to contemplate Lesson 234, and to spend time in meditation. If you have 30-minutes for meditation and would like a gentle audio to guide you, I recommend this meditation by Michael Langford and Karen Worth: 

AWA Description L 

Father, today I am Your Son again. 

Today, we will notice our true Self throughout the day. Here are some questions you can use to help shift your attention for short glimpses of awareness throughout the day. 

What is here, present, that has always been here and present? 

What is constant (non-changing) as what I am? 

What sees this sensation/pain? 

What is aware of this sound? 

What is here as I while this mood is present
that was also here as I when another mood was present? 

What is giving attention to these thoughts? 

What is aware of the body and the environment the body is in? 

Also, here are some very brief exercises that you can try at different times during your day today. I recommend taking a break from whatever you are doing at 4 different times in your day, and giving your full attention to one video during each break. Each video is under 10 minutes long. Don’t just watch the video. Try the experiments as you watch or immediately after watching the video. 

Loch Kelly – Awareness of Awareness 

Richard Lang – Who are we really? (1B) 

Douglas Harding – Out of Body Experiment 

Greg Goode – A Guided Self-Inquiry Exercise 

The videos above are for breaks during the day. This last video (14 mins) is for nighttime, just before going to bed: 

Rupert Spira – How Do I Practice Self-Inquiry? 

MY THOUGHTS 

I have two things I am going to do today besides giving thanks for Reality. As much as I can, I am going to keep my attention on the present moment rather than the thoughts in my mind. And, I am going to ask myself these questions periodically during the day to remind myself that I am the Self that exists and all else is the illusion. 

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