Love, which created me, is what I am.
I seek my own Identity, and find It in these words: “Love, which created me, is what I am.” Now need I seek no more. Love has prevailed. So still It waited for my coming home, that I will turn away no longer from the holy face of Christ. And what I look upon attests the truth of the Identity I sought to lose, but which my Father has kept safe for me.
Father, my thanks to You for what I am; for keeping my Identity untouched and sinless, in the midst of all the thoughts of sin my foolish mind made up. And thanks to You for saving me from them. Amen.
INITIAL INSIGHT: Indeed, I am Love and can be nothing else. Sometimes my mind seems filled with clouds of confusion and the effects of these confused thoughts are anger, fear, guilt, and depression. But no matter how real it seems at the time they are just clouds which can easily be dispersed as I turn my attention to the truth of my being. What a wonderful feeling to know that my mind remains unchanged and that God welcomes me home no matter how often I wander.
I am reminded of my children when they were young. They would try me over and over again, but always I just loved them and eventually, they would stop the bad behavior and come sit in my lap to rest awhile in my unwavering love before they would be off into something else. I feel like that sometimes. I play in ego land, pretending to be something I am not and then when things get too scary or too difficult, I run back to my Father for comfort and love, and for the assurance that my Self is still intact.
DAILY APPLICATION: This morning I was remembering one of those difficult days. Actually, it was more than one day as it took me a couple of days to let go of the ego thoughts that held me in their sway. When that happens, it feels like I can’t find my way out of the dream, but always it is because I am unwilling to let go of a favorite ego illusion. How odd that often the favored dream is an unpleasant one or leads to unpleasant effects and yet I still cling to it. There is a limit to the pain I am willing to experience, though, and eventually, I surrendered the thought that I know the way, and allowed Holy Spirit to lead me.
I am so grateful that I am always led with certainty and love. I notice that while I may be unwilling to give up certain thoughts immediately, I am very quick to begin the process and absolutely certain that this is what I want. I have learned to love the peace and joy that comes from choosing God over the ego and the loss of that peace is acutely painful, and so my willingness speeds the process. Thank you, Holy Spirit for your ever-present help.
Here is an encouraging message I received from Holy Spirit when I was still struggling with this idea and feeling discouraged that it seemed to be taking so long and felt so hard.
INSIGHTS FROM HOLY SPIRIT: Precious one, once again I encourage you to be patient with your process. It is not a sign of failure that it takes time to move through it, but rather this is the proper use of time. Things will go faster and with less pain, if you will release the judgment you hold against yourself, and if you will simply accept what is. God does not judge you, why should you?
Until you stop judging yourself you will not believe that God judges not. It is your own judgment that you are projecting onto God and onto others in your life. When you then look within your mind for God and you see judgment, you forget that it came from your own thoughts and believe that it originated with God. How frightening that is for you, but be of good cheer for it is completely false.
Let today be a day of practice. Practice looking on everything you do or think as perfectly innocent. Until you accept your innocence the whole world will appear to be guilty. You will experience something and immediately look around to see whose fault it was, and you will find the guilty culprit because you are projecting the guilt in your mind onto the world. You are not guilty of anything, dear one, and when you are willing to accept that truth, the world will become to you the loving place it really is. You will be in the happy dream and all about you will be proof, not of guilt, but of love.
There really is no point in all of that mind watching if you cling to the errors once you find them. Be as willing to release the errors as you were to notice them. You are not the ego, but rather the ego is a small splinter of thought in your vast and holy mind. Be willing to express your divinity, and to be as God created you. That is your true vocation. Finding the errors is only the way you reach the truth, not the end of your path. Come home to your Father Who created you for joy and for everlasting peace. As you live the life of peace and happiness that was meant for you all the separated Sons will be lifted up with you.
GRATITUDE: I am so grateful for these early messages that both clarified and inspired me. Learning a new way to see things took time and patience helped as I came to accept it was a process and it didn’t matter how long it took or how often I had to return to the same error. All that mattered is that I did it.
Please take time this morning to read, “What is Forgiveness,” to contemplate Lesson 229, and to spend time in meditation. If you have 30-minutes for meditation and would like a gentle audio to guide you, I recommend this meditation by Michael Langford and Karen Worth:
Love, which created me, is what I am.
Love is open, all-embracing, perfectly allowing and naturally accepting.
There is no judgment in love. It does not compare. There is no resistance in love. It does not wish for something that is different than what is. Love is not controlling. It does not manipulate. Love is quietly and peacefully present with what is.
Your true nature is love. The ego is not love.
Our purpose now is to live from our true nature, and let go of the ego illusion. I call it the “ego illusion,” because the ego pretends to be you, but it is not. Therefore, it is an illusion of you, but not the truth of you.
Today, while observing awareness-presence in meditation, notice it is love. Notice it is incapable of being anything but love. It has no judgment in it, no comparison, and no resistance. Also, notice it is what you are. This means, of course, that you are love.
Throughout the day today, remember to practice the Loving All Method. If you would like another review of the Loving All Method, read Chapter 12 of The Most Direct Means to Eternal Bliss again. Notice that when you practice the Loving All Method, you are practicing abiding as love.
Today, I practiced two meditations. First, I practiced AWA Description H (above). Next, I listened to an older mediation audio called “Love Meditation.” It is a fantasy meditation. I found the instructions from Description H naturally stayed with me as I listened to the Love Meditation. There were different feelings and a few thoughts that occurred during the Love Meditation, but as I concentrated on awareness in a relaxed manner, it was easy to see that I am the love that allowed the experience that occurred during the Love Meditation. There were a few thoughts; there were feelings; I am the openness (love) that allowed them.
If you would like to do both meditations, I recommend practicing Description H before listening to the Love Meditation. If you do not have time for both meditations in the morning, I recommend practicing Description H in the morning, and then listening to the Love Meditation later in the day.
The problem with thinking of myself as “mother” is that this is a role that I played, but not what I am, just as being human is a role I play but not what I am. When I am too attached to these roles, they block the awareness of my true nature. This is uncomfortable because it is not natural.
One day, my daughter asked me to babysit for her for just an hour. Of course, it would be longer. She would have to drive back across the bridge, get her hair done, then drive back to me, so it would take, at the least, an hour and a half and probably more time. Then she would stay awhile and when she left, I would have to pick up after that little hurricane of a granddaughter.
I said no because I had limited energy and way too much to do. But I felt guilty for saying no and I notice this morning, I wish I had said yes, but I am glad I said no. I still cling to the role as her mother and want to take care of her and protect her from disappointment. The good news is that I didn’t. This bit of unease is something I am willing to release because it is like a wall that stands between my Self and self. How can I know myself as Love while I feel unloving?
Now that I am more aware of what is natural, I feel the discomfort of the unnatural more acutely and quickly than I did before. The reason I didn’t give in to the discomfort of saying no, is that I know changing the world to protect my roles is not the solution. Comfort comes in recognizing I am not my role and if I protect anything it will be my awareness of what I am.
I asked for help in understanding why these feelings linger. I realized that as a child I felt unprotected and unsafe. These beliefs still remain in my mind and so I project them onto those I love as if they are the ones who feel unprotected and unsafe and it is my job to defend them from those feelings. All the time, the feelings are in me, not them. It is like trying to fix the mirror image and so my job is never done. Now is my opportunity to make a real difference as I let those beliefs be undone. Whew! I gladly and gratefully do so, now.