I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.
(189) I feel the Love of God within me now.
The Love of God is what created me. The Love of God is everything I am. The Love of God proclaimed me as His
Son. The Love of God within me sets me free.
I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.
Everything that I think I am, every preference I have, is the self made up for this experience. Every belief, every thought is part of that made-up self. It is not who I am. It is not what I am. I know this is true and I am glad to know this. I am grateful that the Love of God created me and that this is what I am. But I have not yet let go of the self so being what I am is not my experience, at least not all the time.
I know now that it is possible to do this and I want to do it, so I am letting go of any belief in my mind that prevents it and I am slowly increasing the time I spend focused on the Self. This can’t really be hard. I am already what I am, so an awareness of that is always available to me. I just need to shift my attention from the self to the Self until I lose interest in the self altogether.
This is the first time that I have realized that I can do this and want to do this. In the past, this idea that I can live this life while at the same time, not live it from the perspective of a separate self, seemed out of reach or at least something to strive toward but not to be achieved in this lifetime. Now I understand that anyone can do this. It is not a faraway dream. And it is not scary. How could it be scary to be what I already am? I am not changing and becoming something different; I am just learning to notice what I am.
I am including in this post, a couple of other entries in my journal because it shows the progression of this slow and gentle shifting.
I don’t know what year this was, just that it was an early entry.
While I believe I am a body, I learn to remember the truth by choosing the Holy Spirit as my teacher. Through this slow careful process of being vigilant for the thoughts that seem to say I am something other than Love, my memory is beginning to return. This is the point of doing the Course, after all. I am not studying it to pass the time or to make my “life” better, but to remember this is not my life, I do have life, and that life is Love.
It is what I do, what I think, what I am. I am Love because I was created by Love, and everything else I seem to see as me is an attempt to re-create myself differently. I am free to believe it is true but it never will be. I will always be only Love. The more willing I am to know the truth, the more I feel the Love of God within me.
Holy Spirit, could you please talk to me about Love.
Holy Spirit: The reason it is hard for you to remember that you are Love is that you think you can be Love and something else as well. Love is whole. There are no empty spaces in Love that you can fill with something different. If there were empty spaces it would not be Love because empty or different would violate the definition of Love.
This is your challenge while you believe you are Myron. To believe in Love, you must give up all the ideas you made that seem to be different from Love. You have tried to name many of them love, but using the word to describe them does not make them Love. You are beginning to see this and to experience yourself as something more than Myron, but right now it is as if you have parted the curtains just a little bit and a small stream of light is being allowed into your mind.
This is very good. Even now you are becoming adjusted to the light and feel a strong, if not complete, desire to experience more. As you often tell your friends, do not lament the lack of light, but rather put on your party hat and celebrate each victory in which you have welcomed light. Do not regret the light you were afraid to let in, but be joyful for the light you have accepted. We all are!
Me: Thank you, Holy Spirit for giving me Your thoughts. I am so full of joy this moment. I notice something different. I used to almost dread feeling happy and getting excited when I felt a light come on in my mind because I would keep waiting for the backlash. Each time I took a step forward, it was as if the other part of my mind, the part we call ego would retreat into fear. If I felt very joyful, I would soon begin to think about something that brought me back down, or experience anger or judgment and then would think that I would never succeed. This was very discouraging.
Sometimes if I came too close to God’s Love, I would choose to experience sickness in my body rather than chance awakening. Now what I am noticing is that this is a very dim thought, a memory of fear, and though it still happens, it is meaningless to me. I have no fear of it; it is not real to me, just something that happens in the illusion. Kind of like I say to myself, “I have a headache,” then I move on. I sense fear of success, I move on. I seem to be more detached.
Over the last few years, as I have been doing this journaling with the lessons, the curtain has been thrown wide. Light does stream in and floods my mind. I still retreat into fear sometimes, but the curtain never completely closes anymore, and I don’t dread the backlash because I am no longer confused about its source. I am the cause of the fear and I know what to do with it. When my mind becomes confused, I quickly turn toward the light and find my way to truth again.
Thank you, God. I love you, God.
What jumped out at me this time is, “The Love of God is everything I am.” As the Holy Spirit said to me before, it is all that I am. I am deeply touched by the thought that I am only Love and that there is nothing in me that is not the Love of God. I am created by Love and live in Love, am part of Love. And what is most important, there is nothing else that is in me or is me. All else I seem to experience is a fantasy, a dream, is meaningless. I am innocent Love. Holy Spirit, please help me to feel this and to remember it today.
The peace of God is everything I want. The Love of God is everything I am. Nice!
Today we let meditation be as it is. We do not ask for a deeper experience than the one we have. We do not ask for visions or insight. We do not ask for awakening to come today. We make no demands. Instead, we sit quietly with our eyes closed in appreciation for awareness-life-presence as it is, which we know and feel, regardless of any experience or non-experience that happens around and within it.
This is interesting. Recently, I have been doing this. I have been meditating to just be silent as long as I can. I have had no agenda at all, looked for no experience. Did not time myself. Did not judge the experience. I just felt grateful that I could do this at all. Then this morning as I was in the middle of contemplating this lesson, I remembered a request from a friend.
I stopped what I was doing and answered her request. I talked about being satisfied with what is happening in the present moment, it is more peaceful to just flow with it. Whatever is happening right now is perfect. If nothing is coming to you to do, it is time to do nothing. Be happy doing nothing. That sort of thing. I thought it was odd that I suddenly stopped everything that I was doing to answer this message. I had already answered the night before, but evidently, the answer was not complete. Then I came back to the lesson and read Regina’s meditation tip and it feels like a continuation of my message.