VIII. The Unbelievable Belief, P 7
7 The whole purpose of this course is to teach you that the ego is unbelievable and will forever be unbelievable. You who made the ego by believing the unbelievable cannot make this judgment alone. By accepting the Atonement for yourself, you are deciding against the belief that you can be alone, thus dispelling the idea of separation and affirming your true identification with the whole Kingdom as literally part of you. This identification is as beyond doubt as it is beyond belief. Your wholeness has no limits because being is infinity.
I began this little adventure I think of as my life with an unbelievable idea. I believed that I could be separate from All That Is. I believed I could be alone. Since I did this with belief, I need a solution that is outside the belief. The Solution I need and can have simply by choosing it is the Atonement.
I think of the Atonement as that which undoes all I have done and restores the Kingdom to my awareness. That is just the way I think of it so that it makes sense to me, but I don’t think that is completely accurate. Still, I only need to know that the Solution is there and waiting for my acceptance. I don’t need an intellectual understanding to allow it to work for me.
The Atonement dispels the idea that I am separate, but that entails more than a realization I am not alone. Jesus says that the Atonement affirms that the whole Kingdom is literally part of me. Literally. I, in my wholeness, have no limits. I am infinite. My vision of my self is nothing like this. I am, however, becoming willing to step into my Self, or rather to allow my Self to rise in my consciousness. When I do this, when I allow my true Self into my awareness, I doubt I will have any interest in the little ego I made to take its place.
I have been playing with the idea that my mind is powerful and that I am constantly choosing, deliberately choosing what I will believe. As I make this choice, I see its affects as my life. Jesus has been telling us this all along but even though I read what he says, I have seemed determined to not really believe it. Now I am changing my mind about this.
At first I just watched my mind and saw how my thoughts became my life. Mostly I noticed how my negative thoughts were projected onto the world. This was important and encouraged me to allow my mind to be healed. I was learning through contrast. I had thoughts of anger and I saw that this projection brought me stories of conflict and it felt really bad. So I asked for healing and I saw how my stories became peaceful stories and it felt good.
Now I am taking this a step further. I am becoming willing to recognize that everything in my life is a reflection of a thought in my mind and that each thought I have is a deliberate choice I have made. Here is an example of what I mean. I went to bed early last night and got up early this morning. This means that I have more time to sit with Spirit, to allow Him to guide my thoughts and to write what I get.
I was thinking how much I enjoy this and how much more enjoyable it is when there is no sense of hurry. I had the thought that I wish I could do it like this every day. I’ve tried to arrange my day like this before and it only works occasionally. I felt the wish like it was something just out of my reach. Then another thought rose up in my mind and it was that I can decide for this. I don’t have to wish for it, I can will it to be.
I will always give myself the gift of a leisurely morning with Spirit. If this is what I want, there is nothing that can keep it from me. My mind is part of God, part of the whole, and it is powerful. It is so powerful it could choose to believe what is not true and through this belief I made an entire world. As I choose to stop believing in the unbelievable I am remembering that I can join my will with the Will of God with far more favorable results than I achieved in joining with ego.
The Will of God is that I am whole and my wholeness is infinite. The Will of God has no opposite so this must be true of me. I choose to experience my limitless Self every morning. It may not seem like a big deal, but every time I choose for strength instead of weakness I convince myself that this is what I want and what I am. I hear the ego in the background reminding me how small I am and suggesting I stay low. I think its too late for that.