IV. The Only Answer, P 9
9 Abilities must be developed before you can use them. This is not true of anything that God created, but it is the kindest solution possible for what you made. In an impossible situation, you can develop your abilities to the point where they can get you out of it. You have a Guide to how to develop them, but you have no commander except yourself. This leaves you in charge of the Kingdom, with both a Guide to find it and a means to keep it. You have a model to follow who will strengthen your command, and never detract from it in any way. You therefore retain the central place in your imagined enslavement, which in itself demonstrates that you are not enslaved.
What an incredible job we have done in making an impossible world where we, the Son of God, can experience our selves enslaved to a set of beliefs we made up. Let me look at the proof that I can awake from this dream any time I want to.
I have a Guide to help me develop my ability to undo what I have done.
I am the commander of the project.
I am in charge of the Kingdom.
I have a model to follow.
My model will strengthen my command and never detract from it.
Does this sound like I am a victim? Does this sound like I can never get out of my illusion? I am pretending to be enslaved, but if I am at the center of the enslavement, the maker of the enslavement, and with everything I need to escape, then how could I be enslaved?
When I feel like I can’t get free of my imagined enslavement it is because I am listening to that voice in my head spouting out the beliefs that make up the world of illusion. They are just beliefs, not jails, not chains. They have no power outside the power I accord them. You see, once again I admit that I am in charge of my own enslavement. I give all meaning and all power to my jailer, and my jailer is just a set of beliefs that I made up.
Jesus, as I think about this I see that it makes sense and I want very much to wake up from the dream. Sometimes I feel so close to awakening. I never ever completely believe in the dream anymore. Even this past week with Toby when I was as close to being lost in the dream as I have been in a long time, I still knew I was dreaming. Even though the fear was paralyzing, I still knew I was dreaming.
How can I be so close and yet not be able (willing?) to wake up? I feel discouraged. The voice of ego is very loud in my head insisting that I can never do this and that this whole idea is ridiculous. It insists that what I am experiencing is real and the idea of a Kingdom and power and love are the illusion, and that is why I cannot wake up. When I listen to the ego voice I feel so afraid and discouraged.
Well, this is interesting. As I wrote out exactly how I am feeling right now, I see that I don’t feel that way anymore. Writing and talking to you, Jesus, has helped me to step back from the thinking mind and look at it with detachment. It is like a little war is going on in there. I see the thought that I am deeply loved and perfectly created. I look over and see the thought that I am a fool to believe that and that all I have to do is look at my life to see the proof that I am not in the least lovable and hardly perfect.
But who am “I”? Who is it that is watching this verbal tennis match? Who is it that is watching Myron caught up in it and being confused and afraid? I am reminded that I do know who I am. Who I am is in my mind and can never be lost. Thank you, Jesus. I know you answered my questions without any words at all. I know this sudden clarity and this sense of peace enfolding me is my answer.
I remember what you just told me Saturday; that this past week is the answer to my prayer to awaken. I am looking at the thoughts I still believe to some degree so that I can let them go and allow my mind to be healed of the craziness that goes on there. That is all that happened. I have been looking at ego beliefs and deciding to reject them.
These are the kinds of abilities you are talking about. I am developing the ability to look with the Holy Spirit at the thoughts and beliefs in my mind and allow them to be corrected. I am developing the ability to step back and see with clarity what is happening, the ability to experience the story with some detachment. I see how these abilities are going to help me return my awareness to the Kingdom.