II. The Ego and False Autonomy, P 1
1 It is reasonable to ask how the mind could ever have made the ego. In fact, it is the best question you could ask. There is, however, no point in giving an answer in terms of the past because the past does not matter, and history would not exist if the same errors were not being repeated in the present. Abstract thought applies to knowledge because knowledge is completely impersonal, and examples are irrelevant to its understanding. Perception, however, is always specific, and therefore quite concrete.
Jesus says that it is reasonable to ask how the mind could ever have made the ego. It’s a good question, he says. I’m glad to hear it because I have certainly asked that question, though I did notice that I felt a twinge of fear in the asking, which pretty much guarantees I won’t get an answer. Answers come to the heart and the heart does not ask in fear. We do not receive answers we don’t really want.
Then Jesus says something very interesting. He says, in part:
There is, however, no point in giving an answer in terms of the past because the past does not matter . . .
This pretty much blocks any answer I could conceive of with my thinking mind. At first I was confused. First Jesus said it was a good question, a very important question, and then he makes it impossible for me to come up with an answer.
Ahh, I get it now. It is not for me to come up with an answer. That would be the ego attempting to discover the truth. The ego is not interested in the truth. The ego is only interested in the perpetuation of its self. The answer I want is not going to come from the thinking mind. The answer will come to me from outside of the ego. It will not be in words, nor will it be specific or personal. The explanation will not come with practical examples. It will not be anything the ego will understand, but I will be affected by it. I will understand.
I will receive the answer according to the degree that I really want it. There is no shame in not being able to accept it completely, no reason for guilt or fear. This is why we are studying and practicing A Course in Miracles. It is because we don’t know this answer and we are learning that we want to know the answer. Most of the time the answer comes slowly in gentle steps. It is a gradual undoing of misperceptions. It happens this way because Love is kind. There is no reason to feel anxious about it, because it is inevitable that truth become known to us.